Have you ever felt anger because they refused to give you a service or product because you "don't qualify"? Has a client spoken to you in a way that you consider inappropriate and have you wanted to respond the same or worse because you feel that you don't deserve it?
Do not worry, we have all gone through those emotional experiences that give us the desire to "drop everything and get away" as the song says.
Yes, they are 100% emotional experiences because right now what is happening is inside you and not as we generally think. The situation is unpleasant because we made it unpleasant. It stays in our memory for as long as we allow it and that same time it keeps dictating to us forms of erroneous behavior.
Let me explain myself better with a story:
Recently I needed to buy from an exclusive distribution company for a certain product. At the time of payment, I decide to write a check since it is the way I pay all my suppliers. But there was a problem, the accounting officer explained that I could not receive my check because my purchase history at the company was practically nil.
Imagine how I felt at the time. I had the desire to speak to the business owner whom I knew a few years ago, to write an article about poor customer service, to speak to all my colleagues about this abuse, but NO, I checked myself, said goodbye and decided to return later with the cash.
Now, you may be wondering why did I do this ?, simply because the other attitudes had not worked for me in the past and I wanted to try something different. All those self-help books and seminars on conflict management had to do!
I came back the next day with the money and the decision to make a purchase history that would allow me to choose to purchase via check later. I did so for the following months and, when I considered it appropriate, I asked again to be evaluated so that I could pay in this way, which was approved without major inconveniences.
What happened here?
I was able to focus on a goal that was beyond immediate results, beyond emotions that are always fleeting and do not contribute much to conflict management.
This is applicable to all aspects of our life, the focus can change the results in our favor or against us. Focusing on the negative results of the present or on our experiences in the past, stagnates us and does not allow us to advance to higher levels.
Does it mean then that we should not manifest our emotions?
In no way, rather it is about channeling them properly. Regulate them and not let ourselves be controlled by them. Control must always be ours, no matter what happens in our environment. And this will undoubtedly guarantee us success.
Have they ever called you to offer you a credit card or an offer to join a vacation plan or for a special from the telecommunications company? It is true that you have ever connected with the caller at such a level that by magic you see all the advantages of what he offers and you agree to sign the contract.
In the previous article we discussed the issue of the negative influence of emotions when handling business, this time we will talk about how we can take advantage of the wave of emotions to achieve the opposite effect on our clients, associates, coworkers, employees, partners or prospects. That is, to positively influence our emotions.
Decisions are 90% emotional
Two leadership gurus: Deepak Chopra and John C. Maxuell agree that people generally make emotional decisions that they then justify with logic and not vice versa.
In this way, according to these and other authors, our focus should be to make an emotional connection with our interlocutor that moves him to make a decision in our favor. This is so in the commercial, political, labor, family and even in the churches.
The moral dilemma lies in pretending that people do not think so that they buy our products or ideas. Well, be amazed, the most prominent political and religious leaders have applied this principle, developing deep affective relationships with their followers, guiding them towards emotional decisions, and then helping them justify them from logical reasoning.
The theme here is the clarity of the leader's ideas and the principles that guide his thoughts. This marks a clear difference between Gandhi and Hitler. Both nationalists, leaders of the masses, clear ideas but with opposite principles in their essence.
So how is this connection achieved?
In this question we all walk, there are thousands and thousands of publications that we can review to learn new and old techniques. I am going to share what I have learned so far and I hope that we can debate and enrich this discussion to learn more and have better results in our life environment.
- Have clear dreams and principles. Undoubtedly everything begins within us, with our deepest aspirations. If you have not yet defined your dreams, I recommend that you do it now! There is no time to lose, dreams are the engine that will keep you with the necessary momentum to keep going. The principles are the beacon that will guide you in making important decisions along the way. Define the path and the goals to achieve them. This is where you choose which will be the company, the congregation, the team, the project, etc. with which you intend to achieve your dreams. Right now you capture a “vision” that you will hold firmly throughout the journey. Make the connection and transfer the vision. If you have taken the previous steps correctly, it will not be difficult for you to connect with people and make them vibrate with emotion with your fresh ideas,clear and purposeful. It is a matter of feeling how your interior vibrates when you talk about your project and how you can achieve your goals through it. This is a magical moment in which people put obstacles in the background and decide to march with you in search of that goal, with enthusiasm and determination.
As you can see, emotions can act in our favor or against us. It all depends on the way we channel them. They work against us if we let them control our actions and in our favor if we control them to take advantage of their transforming energy.
