A few years ago, HR began to talk about the competencies that people have to develop in organizations or selection by competencies.
But what do we mean by “competences” and the point that I want us to think together is that we do so much for organizations, consultants, training institutions, trainers to develop them?
When we speak of competences we speak of learning and learning implies acquiring new knowledge and this leads to a change in behavior.
However, this behavior change aims to achieve new possibilities that help achieve goals or the person's purpose.
As a definition we can say that competence is the ability to successfully respond to a complex demand or carry out an activity or task, according to performance criteria defined by the organization. Competencies encompass a person's knowledge (knowing), attitudes (knowing how to be) and abilities (knowing how).
A person is competent when:
Knows how to mobilize personal resources (knowledge, skills, attitudes) and the environment (technology, organization, others) to respond to complex situations, performs activities according to explicit criteria of success, achieving the expected results.
I am going to relate this concept to the concept expressed in the book "The Four Agreements" by Dr. Miguel Ruiz that says:
I. Be impeccable with your words
II. Don't take anything personally
III. Don't make assumptions
IV. Always do the best you can
I. Be impeccable with your words
Words constitute the power we have to create. Our intention is manifested through the word.
What we are, what we want we show through the word.
We can compare the mind with a field. It is fertile in which seeds are continually being planted.
These seeds are our thoughts, ideas, concepts, beliefs and these grow, in the human mind creating beliefs, mental models in us.
For example: I think you are stupid, this agreement is very difficult to break and it may lead you to do many things just to convince yourself that you really are stupid.
We are trapped by belief in our own stupidity.
It may happen that one day a person tells you that you are not stupid, GET YOUR ATTENTION, believe what that person says and come to a new AGREEMENT.
Remember that "ONLY ONE AGREEMENT BREAKS WITH ANOTHER AGREEMENT"
Impeccable with words means using our energy correctly, in the direction of truth and love for ourselves.
We have to come to this agreement to be upright and say what we think.
We usually use the words to blame, reproach, destroy, curse, anger, jealousy, envy, gossip (the famous radio corridor of organizations)
The hallway radio is like a computer virus the intention is harmful. The slightest bit of misinformation can spoil communication between people and "infect" everyone who touches and infects more people
II. Don't take anything personally
When you take things personally, you feel offended and react by defending your beliefs and creating conflict. This is a way of seeing the world.
Many times we strive to show that we are right and the only thing it does is break relationships with our bosses, friends, family.
By being immune to the opinions and actions of others, we will not be the victim of unnecessary suffering. When we get used to not taking anything personally, we don't need to put our trust in what others do or say.
III. Don't make assumptions
Almost 90% of the conflicts we have with other people are due to having the ability to make assumptions embedded in our being.
Assumptions create suffering and the way to change this agreement is by asking questions, expressing what we really want, connecting with our own needs and thus avoiding misunderstandings, fights, difficulties with others when we do not understand… we suppose and invent and fantasize about the facts
Surely you reader will identify with this maxim:
"If the other tells me something… we suppose
If they don't tell us anything we also suppose
If we hear something and don't understand it… we suppose ”
If we want to develop communication skills, we have to stop assuming and learn to ask QUESTIONS.
I invite you to think about this habit and propose to change it and in this way improve our conversational skills.
IV. Do as much as you can
When I read this phrase Forrest Gump came to mind. He had no great ideas but… He acted. Towards the MAXIMUM POWER I COULD DO IN EVERYTHING I UNDERTAKEN
After having read this text several times to be able to implement it in my life, with my clients, students, many questions were generated in me. I share them with my readers:
How would I feel if someone said this to me?
What do I want to achieve with my words?
Are my comments hurtful?
How will the other person feel after my words?
Dear readers, I invite you to generate conversations for reflection, to have more dialogue about that "possibility", to create "shared vision" since many problems we have are because we do not share the visions, "we suppose."
Focus more on listening to others.
Open a space for discussion and dialogue.
I am convinced that many problems we have in organizations would be minimized if everyone from top to bottom develops competencies that open conversations, that generate conversations for possible conversations.
