If your life is in a hectic pace, you don't have a minute to lose and you are overwhelmed, this article is for you. Your situation is much more frequent than it seems and, what is worse, today it is justified and almost even required. It seems that it is normal and desirable to be like this and if it is not that you are not a "real" professional. It is true that a certain level of stress is good for your development, but here we are talking about more than a certain level.
I mean a situation where you don't have time for yourself, you are stressed and you begin to realize that you can't go on like this. Or else you are already totally overwhelmed and do not know how to change it. As I say it is frequent, and also worrying, because this does not stop until something forces you to stop (an illness for example) and of course we do not want to get to that point.
So what can you do when your life overflows you? Three things:
- First, change that idea. It is not life that overflows you, it is you who do not know how to set limits.
We all have a limit and, although we do not usually think about it, it is very important to know it. In this way you will know when you approach him and you can do something about it. This will decrease your wear and stress. Because we already know how that situation affects you, and not only you but those around you as well (of course, I am fully aware). And maybe you wonder, how can I know what my limit is? Excellent question. In the book "How to be mentally balanced" (Editions B), Philippa Perry comments that it is very important to stop once in a while to assess how you feel at that moment, what do you think, what do you do. It does not have to be a long break, the important thing is that you get used to analyzing how you feel. For example, right now, how do you feel? Tired, bored, motivated, happy, hungry, thirsty,… This is the first step to learn to recognize when you are reaching the limit, and thus be able to stop on time.
- Second, identify the cause of the rush.
In general there are three causes that you are always running from one place to another:
1. Too many tasks for a certain time that, although you would love it, you cannot stretch.
2. Too many people asking you for things.
3. An internal feeling of being in a hurry. The feeling that you cannot stop, that there is something more to do (which, of course, there always is), that you cannot waste a minute…
Identify which one or which affect you the most.
- Third, fix the problem. Here comes the hard part:)
If your main problem is homework, what is the solution? There are several: delegating, learning to prioritize, not underestimating the time that a certain task will take, etc.
If what affects you is people, clearly it is essential that you learn to set limits and say no.
If your main problem is the internal feeling of rush, it is more complicated. Something that helps is forcing you to stop several times a day, even if it's only five minutes. The point is to stop your frenetic rhythm and do something that relaxes you or simply provides a pattern: read, listen to a song, take a walk or do the exercise I mentioned before. The important thing is that you get used to stopping and see that life goes on and that you feel better. This, which is apparently simple, costs a lot, because you are not going to literally stop for a minute, the point is to force yourself. And I attest that it works…
In addition, in all cases it is essential to lower your demands and expectations (something complicated, I know, but you have to take it into account).
I'll give you an example. One of my clients told me that she needed to organize herself better, that she was always busy, did not have time to do what she really wanted, and was not even sure that what she was doing would take her where she wanted to be. She wished she could do things one at a time, instead of having so many at once. That way she wouldn't be scattered as much and would be more focused; and she felt blocked and stressed. Analyzing her situation, her biggest problem was not being able to say no when they asked her for something and she was filling herself with activities that many times were neither within her priorities nor contributed too much. Solution: 1) clarify priorities and your desired career path to really know what should be done for you, and not be filled with activities and responsibilities that did not provide you with anything professionally;and 2) learn to set limits, to say no.
In summary, it is essential that you are aware of what your limit is and that exceeding it is not a good thing. So stop to think how far you can go, how many tasks you can do without being suffocated, how many people (or requests from people). Learn to identify how you feel at all times so you don't get to that point of no return. And do not kid yourself, regardless of how busy you are and the reasons you have, the most important thing is that it is you who has to decide that you have come this far, and start to solve that frantic rhythm before something serious forces you to stop.
What are you going to change?
