After having established the "what" of our goals we then move on to establish the "how", both aspects are very important for achieving them. When we are in the task of setting our goals we can not only assess if they are really part of our priorities or more important pieces of the current stage, but we can ask ourselves the questions like is it really what I want? Are they the right steps? Is it just time? And perhaps even more importantly, does it agree with my values and my meaning in life?
In this tenor, we originally talk about four errors that we have markedly when we set our goals, which are:
- The one that we put them very low, The one that we put them very high, The one that we try to reach them too quickly, and I add a fourth that certainly also happens to us We do not release them so they easily become obsession. Let's talk about each one of them…
1. The one that we set the goals very low
We do this perhaps due to a self-deception of knowing ourselves capable of reaching it, it would be like putting a fence 50 cm away, and realizing that we can jump it and continue in the same way a month, three months, or half a year later knowing that we could raise its height and demand a little more. In the Kabbalah they call "adversary" that which is in front of us and which has the function of tanning and making us better. neighborhood. And more than talking about rivals, what is underlined is what curte us, what we can transcend and certainly know ourselves better.
2. The one that we set very high goals
At the least start could really be a mistake to do so, remember that wise passage from Lao Tzu when he says that "a long journey begins at the first step, a castle begins with the laying of the foundation stone in its foundation…" To a beginner can easily become ambiguous, it is practically impossible for someone who has never climbed to drop everything and instantly go to climb Mount Everest, this requires a period of solid preparation. It is well known that the athlete who in his early days begins with the substance of being overweight in the gym will most likely sooner rather than later leave his company. They say in many sports aspects of yoga that it is very important to startnot give more than we can give, but neither give less than we can.
3. The one we try to reach them too quickly
This occurs since we are highly fixated on the goal; Let us remember that beautiful anecdote of the disciple who was pursuing enlightenment and who urged his master to give him an answer: "Master, how long will it take to enlighten me?" –And if I practice twice as long? –Mm being like this it will take you 5 years. Surprised, the disciple questioned again - and if I practice 10 hours a day. The teacher finally replied –being that way it will take you 20 years to become enlightened ”. Without a doubt, this aspect could be an indicator that we are experiencing anxiety. We are in a place and we already want to be in the next one. And we are not complete in one or the other.There are many wise passages in Taoism, which say that a bird is not concerned with knowing if it is going to fly, or a garden rose is not concerned with knowing whether it will rain, or a peach seed for knowing what will sprout from it… ” And the lesson is precisely that, walking through life more often with knowing that what will be ours will be so and nothing can change it.
4. The one that we do not let go and can easily become an obsession
The most effective strategy in making our goals and objectives would be to forge them and then send them to heaven and continue living life. Understand that sending them to heaven has nothing to do with letting go of them, but rather our idea of them. It is very common that we lived, for example, a life full of wishes for a happy family and that we are at home with loved ones, but thinking about the illusion of the happy family, and avoiding being present taking advantage of the moment. In the world of psychology, the image of the donkey that chases the carrot that is tied in front is well known and this image defines this aspect very well.By staying focused on the goal we lose our way, and remember what Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh tells us that our way has a heart. But are we aware of it?
To conclude the topic, I would like to mention the Buddhist contribution of the middle path, as an extraordinary platform for the moment when we set our goals. The beautiful anecdote of that musician who ran into Buddha when he fainted from everything he had stopped eating according to his ascetic practice: “if you tighten the strings too much they break, and if the strings are too loose the sound is very sharp and does not work, they have to be to the point… ”
The middle path is to take the best of each end. If we are meditating we can fall into torpor due to too much flaccidity, but we can also fall into agitation due to the pressure of sustained attention. We can get awake out of drowsiness and agitation and conformation would be a state where there is tranquility and clarity at the same time. In the case of the Buddha it was the notion of finding the point in the ascetic practice that was not so mortifying, but subtracting the best from the hedonistic practice without falling into the perdition of pleasure; Its final result was a practice in which he found the purification of his soul but in an enjoyable practice that was worth exercising and living. He approached the notion of what through many traditions and cultures we know as "good living" or "well living".Let us remember when establishing our objectives that idea of "discipline" that is to become disciples of ourselves.
Fabián Martínez Hernández
Advanced Master Trainer DHNL and Life Coach. Specialist in human communication, leadership and spiritual intelligence. Master in Transpersonal and Outstanding Development.
