In the search for tools to be better in all aspects of our lives we often come across information on how to deal with fear. The fear of taking risks, the fear of starting again, the fear of learning or unlearning, the fear of losing, of not succeeding or having it abundantly.
One of the most enriching experiences I've had so far is a leadership retreat that my wife and I participated in earlier this year. In this retreat we were presented, among other study materials, with a film called "Total Trust" authored by Mrs. Verónica De Andrés.
In this film the central idea works that we must learn to manage fear in such a way that we do not act from its paralyzing influence and on the contrary we work from love that unleashes our potential and opens up an infinite spectrum of possibilities.
This reflection shocked me greatly because, despite all the books, lectures and motivational phrases I have known, I had not realized how my actions have been driven by fear for so long.
How is this possible? Very simply, fear is the explanation for many of the attitudes that I have tried to correct for many years and that I have accomplished little more than just repressing. For example, in situations of stress and work or financial pressure, it was difficult for me to control violent verbal reactions towards collaborators, family members and associates. I have identified that it is fear and not my character, as I previously thought, that drives me to react in this inappropriate and damaging way.
If I free myself from fear and understand that in the end everything will be fine, I will be able to understand that it is not necessary to attack because whatever happens, if I am connected with love to what I do, to those who collaborate with me and to my infinite capacities, the result will be always the best for everyone.
This knowledge that Mrs. Andrés reveals to us is wonderful because traditional education teaches us just the opposite. They teach us from a young age that failures are not part of the growth process and teach us to fear them in a way that can paralyze or over-stimulate us when they appear.
The truth is that life is a constant cyclical experience of successes and failures in which some give meaning to others and cannot survive without each other.
In an audio book I heard a while ago, there is a seed to this liberating knowledge: “Success and failure are both part of a big lie because neither of them exist. Just because you have failed or succeeded today does not mean that you are a failed or successful person for the rest of your life.
It is the fear that moves us to stick to the results and not have an attitude of gratitude for everything that happens to us, that if we look back we will realize that everything has been worth it because the sum of these experiences has brought us to this point. wonderful present and will guide us to a future as bright as we decide.
Now ask yourself: How does fear influence those attitudes and behaviors that I have not been able to correct in my life?
