It is no secret to anyone that self-esteem is based on love; in fact, it is part of its definition. And when we talk about love, a beautiful feeling usually comes to mind, which is positive, sweet, inspires us and fills us with happiness. We say that love can do everything, that love is what makes the world work and that we live with joy in our hearts and always thinking about the person we love.
However, it is necessary to differentiate sentimental love from mature love. Many people have difficulty loving themselves because they are not clear about what love is. They think that love is like when you are in love, a series of positive emotions that inspire an indescribable feeling of fullness. They believe that love is looking at the mirror for hours, admiring what they see; and really the only thing they perceive is a set of defects, weaknesses and limitations, which affect self-esteem more.
But the essence of love is very different. It is a decision, something you decide to do, not something you should feel. These feelings do not define mature love; they can be had, but they are not its foundation. There is nothing wrong with feeling things, but however satisfying the emotions are, they are not what sustains mature love. And likewise, self-love becomes difficult when we are convinced that we should have similar feelings.
When we love a person, we decide to love him, accept him as he is, help him in his growth, forgive him, and give ourselves for the benefit of that person. The same happens with self-love. When you love yourself, you accept who you are, you bear your weaknesses, you recognize your value and your importance in the world, allowing you to see yourself objectively. You cannot wait to have sensations to awaken self-love in you. It is not necessary to flatter yourself or say phrases that you do not even know if they are true or not, but you must understand that it is necessary for you to accept everything about yourself and decide this mature love.
And what does love-decision include? Loving yourself involves: enduring your limitations and weaknesses; do not attack yourself for these weaknesses; fully accept you, the good and the bad; do yourself good, be kind and kind to you; take care of yourself in all areas of your life; See yourself objectively, recognizing your abilities and talents, but without seeing others as minors; have a healthy own language, without insulting or destroying themselves with the comments; take time for yourself, taking care of your well-being; rejoice when you have triumphs and achievements, without minimizing them; believe in you, hope for the best in you; trust your abilities; among other things.
And you must take into account something very important, and that is that it is not required that you do or be something specific to earn this love. Just as when you love a child, the child does not have to do anything to earn or deserve your love; Similarly, you should not think that you should do something or have a series of characteristics or achievements that make you deserve your own love. You decide and now, you should not strive to earn this precious love. You don't have to look for reasons to love yourself, you do it because you are yours and you belong to yourself, and this is reason enough.
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I invite you to take a look at the virtual book "Effective Strategies to Strengthen Self-esteem", where you will find many ways and considerations in the task of working for your self-esteem. Your life will not be the same after reading and applying what this book says.
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If you want to know more about strategies to improve self-esteem, or if you want to work on you in a more personalized way through face-to-face psychotherapeutic consultations or by Skype, click here.
I wish you the greatest blessings.
Guillermo Mendoza Velez
www.SaludMentalyEmocional.com
