Human life is a challenge that is not always easy to overcome, especially if we do it alone. We often face new and unfamiliar situations that demand the best of us.
However, when the requirements exceed our capacity or disposition, it becomes necessary to seek and accept support, for which the essential requirement is none other than to trust, to trust others.
Trusting others is not easy, especially if we have felt deceived or betrayed and we have learned that many, perhaps most people, hide, exaggerate or lie to avoid discomfort or to obtain particular benefits.
Why should we trust others? It is necessary to trust others because, with few exceptions, it is difficult for us to be alone. We depend on others to love, learn, and teach. It is a fact that sharing a secret, making ourselves fully known, starting a love relationship, a commercial partnership or living together as a family, requires the condiment of trust. Furthermore, we are a product of those who have surrounded us, influenced us and taught us, although those teachings have been colored with love or pain.
The views on trust in others have always been divided: The poet Juvenal thought: “Trust in everyone is foolish; but not trusting anyone is neurotic awkwardness ”. For Francois de la Rochefoucauld, it is more shameful to distrust friends than to be deceived by them. However, for the American playwright Tennessee Williams, we must be suspicious of each other. It is our only defense against treason.
The truth is that you cannot live without trusting, but you cannot trust everyone. We know that some approach us from their selfish interest, and give value to the famous phrase: "love and interest went to the field one day and interest could more than love that had him." Others, however, carry the seed of loyalty and honesty. I have come to think that only those who love us, those who have a strong education in values or those who are benefiting from us in some way are reliable. The latter will be reliable, possibly, while it lasts.
Many sages and philosophers advise to distrust. For Sai Baba, man should not look for what only God can provide; Gurdjieff has said that it is smart not to give too much confidence to people, and that within each person there are many people, so it is not easy to trust. Osho, only trust those who have developed spiritually. A friend told me years ago that only those who raised in karma and in God were trustworthy.
But, since we can't do without relationships, there are numerous benefits to trust-based ties, and we need to take risks, we must learn to know whom we can trust.
The most trustworthy people tend to be those who:
- We know very well, by his works, more than by his words. They are recommended by people who love, respect or admire us. They dare to assertively tell us the truth and disagree. Of spiritual formation and of clear and strong values. That they have no special interest in getting something from us. They have a tradition of responsibility, prudence and discretion. They consciously fear the spiritual consequences of their actions.
My final recommendation on this topic is that you understand that everyone changes, that deceit is the product of ignorance, that every day is new, that forgiving heals, and that just as you would like others to trust your word, others they also crave and value it. As Antonio Bolinches says: “If you think that it is possible to change, why not trust others they could? Thanks for reading me.
