It has been said since ancient times that suffering is inherent in the condition of being human. More than 2,500 years ago, Buddha said that suffering was universal, and claimed that it came with life itself, which brought with it disease, old age and death. Also, Buddha pointed out as the cause, the obsessive desire or attachment to things, and proposed for its overcoming or cure, to eliminate the yearning to possess, and understand the impermanence or transience of all things. From that angle, if everything goes away, sticking to objects, people or situations, would be, without more, a true and absolute nonsense.
If we all know that we will die, that we will grow old, that everything will change, that nothing will remain, it could almost be said that it is a form of neurotic and insane behavior not to accept it, not assume it and insist on keeping everything under an unrealistic imaginary or fictitious control. Since, as we know, no one can avoid death or old age, but retard them or reduce their impact with the help of science, holding on is an invitation to suffer.
There are theories like that of karma, which claims that we suffer as a result of previous negative actions, as a product of "implacable divine justice." For Sai Baba, karma is inexorable. There is also the behavioral theory of punishment, which justifies inflicting a portion of suffering, as a measure to avoid misconduct.
There are religions that urge us to accept suffering as something normal that should not be avoided. And they see it as a purifying, healing element that teaches us the truth of life. Nietzche saw it as an important healing element to overcome human weakness.
In addition to the aforementioned involuntary suffering, there is also a type of suffering that is self-induced, voluntary suffering, generated by the abuse of the body or the mind, that is, due to lack of rest, poor diet, excessive work, late nights, toxic relationships, incessant worry or rumination guilt, and interpersonal conflicts at work, family and partner, among other self-destructive methods.
It seems, and so stated the behavior researcher, Dr. Albert Ellis, that something inside each person seems to hurt themselves. Eckhart Tolle also refers to this, and in his book: “The Power of Now, affirms that our ego has a sick side that wants something to go wrong. Aaron Beck, discovered that all depressed, thought badly of himself, his present situation and his future. This became known as "Beck's cognitive triad."
On a more personal level, my observations and interpretations as a Professional Counselor indicate that the majority of those who ask for psychological help do so when the problem is very advanced, and the tendency is for them to refuse to face the evidence that shows their responsibility. in the situation they live in. Furthermore, they are reluctant to follow the solution prompts, if they involve making a certain effort. It can be said that there is a gain in the problems that remain, in the prolonged, tolerated, accepted suffering, many times passively. There is, it may be said, a certain psychological addiction.
But also that addiction can become chemical. In the documentary film: "What the hell do we know", the idea is postulated that people are addicted to certain emotions that they frequently experience. The body produces a series of specific substances every time we experience emotions, feelings and sensations. There are chemicals of their own for anger, sadness, joy, compassion, euphoria, etc.
If, for example, our vision of situations leads us to frequent displays of rabies, the organism will produce in each case its respective chemical "cocktail" for rabies. Thus, we become accustomed to experiencing the feeling of force of rage, which will require activating from time to time, as nicotine requires the smoker or caffeine the coffee drinker. Some need the sensation that comes with testosterone, adrenaline, dopamine, endorphins, etc. We become addicted to an emotion due to its "pleasant" chemistry, and we create the conditions to be able to feel it, over and over again, even without apparent logical reason.
An aggravating element in this process of voluntary creation of suffering is permanent justification, the creation of excuses to endorse clearly harmful behaviors, which threaten our values and objectives. And every justified error tends to repeat itself. Gurdjieff said that who, in order to improve ourselves, must abandon the habit of considering ourselves excessively.
Although there are difficult situations to accept, we know that accepting dissipates suffering. Charlotte Joko said: “The more you run away from pain, the faster it will reach you. What cannot be changed, said a wise man, we must accept. Many times suffering is a choice, a voluntary act.
So if you want to stop hurting yourself, there are decisions to be made:
- Take real interest in overcoming it. Get trained. Accept that everything, without exception changes and dies. Detach. Avoid bodily abuse and mental exhaustion. Modérese. Watch yourself and spot the ways you get hurt. Get to know yourself. Get rid of excuses and justifications. Sincérese. Accept that the change will be temporarily tense but you will succeed. Strive.
Think about this and do your best for yourself. Thanks for reading me.
