One of the social variables that most affects our behavior is fear of what they will say, a kind of face with a thousand eyes and a long tongue that can prevent us from growing and expressing ourselves freely. Being a slave to other people's opinion is one option, and the other is to free yourself from its yoke. Keep reading.
In the span of a normal life, each person makes millions of decisions, many of which may displease those around them. This makes it necessary to learn to resist the opinions of others about us or our actions.
Although it is a relatively normal thing to think about other people's lives, there are people whose main fun seems to be judging the behavior of others. The American writer Robert Ringer has cataloged those who make up this group as the " absolute moralists ", and affirms that they must be defended against.
The absolute moralist is a factory of criticism, someone who invests a great deal of time and daily energy in intervening in the life dynamics of his fellow men with the idea that he can or should improve it. Unfortunately, his initiative tends to be poisonous, vertical, reductionist, and overly moral.
This street critic profile can be recognized for his interest in the life of others, for the cunning with which he protects his private information, while seeking to know the details of the life of others. His weapon is criticism, but when detected, he justifies his critical compulsion with "rational" arguments. He has the skills to be necessary and persuasive, and many fall into his trap, not understanding that they have no interest in helping but rather stand out through perennial criticism.
These types of people can cancel themselves by avoiding speaking to them, refusing to give them our information and ultimately confronting them. With them it is convenient to be cautious and prudent, not to count errors, mischief, failures or projects, because they will immediately launch into giving unsolicited opinions.
Also to reduce fear of what they will say, you can make the decision to adapt, to act as you are expected to do, but you must be aware that this strategy can detract from authenticity, consistency and happiness. Generally adapt an intelligent decision, which allows us to know the prevailing variables in each context and select the appropriate responses, but it must be transitory and circumstantial, so as not to falsely live and consequently "die inside".
The main job, however, is an inside job. People who are too sensitive to public opinion are limited in displaying their potential and in having activities that expose their mistakes or defects. We forget that we will always be the object of comments and criticism no matter how well we do things. Let's remember that each person's perception has more to do with their life history than the events they perceive.
To go beyond what they will say, we need to mature, discover who we are and live accordingly, knowing that people fear what is different and often tend to criticize it. Still, we must seek and find our own way, our personal and inner light. Not surprisingly, nature made each being different and also gave us the power to choose.
It is natural for people to talk about others, and many of those comments are useful, as they provide us with angles and perspectives that we lacked. But at the end of the road, in the solitude of the individual, each one must continue deciding despite what they will say.
If we can't avoid the comments, let's learn from them and have the tolerance to understand that, as Phidias Danilo Escalona said, not everyone will love us, because “nobody can please the monster with a thousand heads. Thanks for reading me. Twitter: @doctorrenny
