"To speak of love is to speak of a human need", is an article based on a personal analysis of the relationship between human behavior, emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships, which affect their performance in the organization, therefore, since they do not they develop and integrate properly in the society where they live, based on the teachings of the teacher Erich From and his book “The Art of Loving”.
A very famous song says that in a stanza “love is in the air” (Love is in the air), a simple but at the same time profound phrase, that physical, biological, spiritual secrets are revealed after love… for what reasons does the Human being during his life literally struggles to find him; Do you wake up in your nights suffering, praying, asking the universe to grant you to find that person that complements your life? This is to cite the most ephemeral examples that many of us live through the years, since we discovered the attraction to another person; physical attraction in the first instance until in many cases to develop an emotional bond very similar to that which can be maintained with the family where we were raised or born.
How simple the question may seem, but another question arises. What leads scientists, doctors, psychiatrists, philosophers, sociologists, even ordinary people, in which I include myself, to try to understand what it is that we call Love, and we categorize it as feeling?
This reflection does not fall into the religious categories of love for humanity, I want to focus on the concern of society, of love for couples. What a problem has been throughout the history of humanity, of which we have knowledge of love. Love has become part of human existence, to the point of even taking it through the worst disappointments, depression, war between nations, sadness and as a result diseases. Because if it is clear, the sadness is sick, it is not as they say the old popular adage, "love kills, I die of love", it is that sadness consumes the human being, it drains it to the point that it can lead to ending the same. And love has that small or great defect, sometimes and perhaps very frequently for some it brings sadness.
Erich Froman says "that love is an active power in man"; a power…. And what could we understand by power? Imagine for a moment crossing all the barriers that are placed in front of us, that separate us from the being that represents our feeling, it could give us the ability to overcome our internal pain, love ourselves. Love becomes the symbiosis of two beings who become one, but never stop being two, in the so-called Mature Love.
The art of loving focuses precisely on reaching mature love, which means the union or condition of preserving our integrity and our individuality, without affecting the union with the loved one.
Giving produces happiness, and in a mature couple relationship, where individuality and integrity are respected, according to experts and also those couples who have shared their lives for more than 60 years, the strength of the inner wealth of the spirit and the together achieving shared goals that were forged as the coexistence. People feel alive, happy, the act of giving becomes an expression of the vitality they are feeling.
It is important to understand that the meaning of the word give does not cover the material sphere, but the domain of the human. The person gives to another a part of his own life, stressing that it is not any sacrifice, but he gives what is alive in him, the joy, his humor, his sadness, they are all expressions of what is alive in him.. In mature love, delivery is conceived without expecting to receive, because the act of giving is the source of the theory of loving, since giving oneself produces happiness. But if it is clear, that when the feelings in the couple are real and sincere, the giving becomes a virtuous circle, which leads them to receive constant joy that they themselves have created.
As I said in previous paragraphs, love gives us power, it is power, because love is the only feeling capable of producing itself, love. But power never comes alone, it brings responsibility; Many think of this word as a synonym for duty, but in a deep and analytical sense, responsibility is voluntary, it is the answer to the explicit needs or not of another human being. Responsibility as a compound word means being ready to respond.
Now the power of love, responsibility, could not be wonderful if we do not include an essential component, which is Respect. Which is not the meaning of submission or fear of another, according to its etymological or idiomatic root means the ability to see the person as he is, and therefore be aware of his unique individuality, no two people are the same. In mature and healthy love, the couple cares that both develop and grow as they are, so respect eliminates any type of exploitation towards the other being. In turn, respect is achieved only if we have achieved independence, if you can walk alone without having to dominate or subdue anyone. Respect exists over freedom. Love and freedom are united under its primary conception, there is no love without freedom.
How is a couple respected? Many of us can ask ourselves this… the answer is simple and obvious, knowing it. Knowledge would not exist if it were not motivated by concern for the other, so there are many phases in the process of knowing yourself. The problem of love with knowing, is that couples must walk towards "merge to transcend", as Froman says, a very poetic and romantic phrase, but it is a reality, so present that it is one of the biggest problems for which Relationships fail, couples unions, marriages; the inability of the human being to bond with the other in the depths of his secrets, to become complicit, although biologically not even man knows all his secrets, if we know our character, yearnings, frustrations, goals, the things that make us happy that we they anger,But even so, we do not try, we do not build coexistence and the environment to tend to generate that indispensable, necessary knowledge, the core of love.
The act of fusion produced by love, the active penetration of the other person, generates the desire to know and satisfies those spaces that must be filled to create the basis of the relationship in the early stages, it is incredible but many experiences reveal that The more we go into this journey of knowledge of our partner, the more we know ourselves, because we discover each other.
Upon reaching this stage, love has achieved important changes in both people, leaving aside narcicism, self-centeredness, feels a new energy of union, of sharing, of unity. Furthermore, he feels the power to produce love rather than the dependence on receiving, we go from childish love that follows the principle that "I love because they love me" to mature love "they love me because I love", immature love says according to Froman " I love you because I need you ", mature love" I need you because I love you ".
We can summarize in this first reflection on the theory of love that “The Art of Love” proposes, that this is not specifically with a person, love is a matter of attitude, a character orientation that will define what type of relationship a person has with the world as a whole, not with a specific one.
Now can an art be learned without practicing it? Most of us wait for recipes in books that tell us how to love and be happy forever like in fairy tales, but that is not the reality. Love is an art, and this is worth too much and needs to be practiced day by day constantly, and is born from personal values, of course the advice of the experts gives us the guidelines but only human beings can apply them to our realities in the best possible way. shape.
Practice needs requirements like all art, but first and this general rule for life is Discipline. We will never do anything right if we do not do it in an organized or disciplined way, and that does not mean that to love is to be a soldier and that we are at war. The problem is that today's men and women are undisciplined outside the sphere of work for many reasons according to studies and many studies. Concentration, patience, concern are factors that we must always keep in mind, love requires effort of body and soul because it is a treasure.
Perhaps having faith in love while isolating all the social phenomena that affect it and try to destroy it, can make us exceptional individuals capable of transcending beyond the spheres of the common and everyday, because we know something else, we know human nature, to ourselves.
Bibliography:
Erich Froman "The Art of Loving".
