Change is a key rule of nature. We are born, we grow, we reproduce, we learn and we die.
This inevitable process should teach us to accept change and learn the best ways to carry it out voluntarily and favorably. Keep reading.
Regardless of what it is about, or whether we like it or dislike it, something absolutely certain is that everything changes at all times, so, said in one sentence: “what today is, tomorrow will not be”. Since Heraclitus coined the phrase: "The only thing eternal is change," we have only to reflect on the idea and accept it.
It is a true fact that objects, situations and people are permanently subjected to the imposing forces of transformation.
This, as a natural event, is not necessarily a problem, except when change surprises and challenges us; when it places us in front of undesirable, unexpected, uncomfortable or unmanageable situations.
Many of the changes we experience occur without us noticing them, because what happens is not always planned. Faced with this inescapable reality, we have no choice but to creatively face that which cannot be predicted or controlled.
A known and valid axiom reads: "All change generates resistance." And although it seems a well-known cliché, we are beings of habit and for that very reason we resist change. Our tendency is to stay anchored in common shapes and styles, especially if they give us pleasure or satisfaction, or if it generates a low cost. Thus, we develop mechanisms to avoid or escape a good part of novel situations.
Faced with involuntary changes, we can only act proactively and systemically, in order to prevent and avoid surprises, as far as possible.
Besides that, what remains for us is to accept and trust, since each situation is the consequence of millions of causal events, so one way of looking at it is that nothing is accidental or silly, or lacks purpose.
As for voluntary changes, that is, those that to some extent we can predict or control, the first thing to emphasize is that it is possible to produce changes in our lives. We can create remarkable transformations and adjustments that make the difference between the way we think, feel and do. These changes tend to be positive when they are not the product of capricious improvisation, but rather occur in conscious alignment with the values we profess and the significant goals we have set.
These voluntary changes depend on internal and external factors. Internally, the aptitude (preparation) and the attitude (motivation) of the person. Externally, it depends on the cultural and environmental circumstances of space and time to which the person is subjected.
Self-generated change leads us to review various scenarios where it can be promoted, produced and sustained. These are: thoughts, language, emotions, actions, relationships and environments. That is where we can operate or insert the new. And any modification in one of these areas will affect the rest of them. Let's see:
Thoughts or cognitions are the gateway to a new way of living. By detecting and suppressing thoughts (guilty memories and catastrophic anticipations) and limiting beliefs (about oneself, people or life) we ensure an emotional state of greater well-being. Thoughts of power (I am capable) acceptance (I am adequate) of gratitude (I appreciate what I am, do and have) and optimism (I will do well) promote in us gratifying states such as confidence, joy and calm, which are ideal feelings for success and emotional well-being.
Language operates as a descriptor and creator of reality. It must be observed and controlled by those who want to change, to avoid inappropriate verbalizations, such as generalizations, distortions of reality, trivialities, exaggerations and catastrophies, among other expressive acts, which tend to generate conflicts in relationships and take us away from satisfaction and of achievement.
By changing the thought tends to change the emotion, so that new perceptions and interpretations will bring more satisfactory internal states.
Changes in relationships and environments, modify routines, generate new motivations, allow us to access unusual information, give time to a different use, help break vicious affective circles and facilitate the overcoming of resentments and traumas from the past.
Finally, so that the change you are looking for can take place, reflect on the variables in this scheme that I have designed to help you:
- Loving yourself: the change must really be desired by you. Plan: You must have an idea of how you will approach the change. Visualize yourself: Facilitate change by first making it real in your mind. Getting started: take action, don't stop at words. Hold on: Don't give up at the first obstacle.
If you have tried to make a change and your efforts are in vain, accept what life sends you as destiny or karma, because it is likely that soon you will see angles that you cannot now grasp and end up being grateful for what you previously feared or despised. Remember, as Menelaus said: "Not everything is for everyone at all times." Thanks for reading me.
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