1st part
In order to make known to society how it is possible to deal with social, family, personal and work problems, we are conducting various investigations around issues that harm Mexican families, one of the issues that concerns us today is precisely the one concerning «Children before family discussions. We are going to take it as a contribution for children on their past day.
It has been proven, until now, that only 10% of a responsible parenthood of Mexican families have an approach with their school-age children by asking them, how was school today? What have you done? Where you're going? Who are you going out with? Of course, this does not mean that there is no love, interest in the family or hatred for the children.
We live so immersed in our daily occupations, so distracted, so tense and stressed about improving our economic condition that most of the time we do not realize when our babies have grown up.
Most of these boys live at the expense of laziness, gangsterism, and dropping out of school, and most likely later take refuge in drugs.
Ma. De Jesús Álava, a Spanish psychologist, tells us in one of her texts that women tend to shout more than to calmly communicate with their partner when they want to say or reproach them with something.
"Generally, we scream more than talk, due to the multiple occupations, worries, stress and tension of the home that we live day by day," he says.
From this necessarily follows the aforementioned consequence, then arises disinterest, indifference, demotivation and lack of enthusiasm for children.
When they notice that in that environment, certainly not familiar, they begin to hurt them, they look for something or someone to take refuge in their loneliness, their sadness and few joys.
The most destructive thing we can do to our children is to put him in the middle of our lawsuits, using one of our children to hurt our partner is something that hurts them much more, words like; "Get out of here, you look like your mother", "You are a fool, just like your father", using derogatory terms, without a doubt, it is something that will strengthen the negative mind of children.
Unfortunately the couple's conflicts often manifest themselves in money management. Many times the economic is used as a means of control or pressure, parents can enter a power struggle, "If you do not give me money you do not see the children". "If you don't let me see the kids, I won't give you money," etc.
These situations make the children suffer and place them between the sword and the wall.
2nd. part
Sex education goes beyond telling the child how babies are born. Sex education means helping the boy to be aware of the sex to which he belongs and to feel satisfied with it; to know that boys and girls are equally valuable as human beings and that, thanks to this difference, everyone's life becomes more complete and pleasant.
Infant sex education must be seen as that, as part of a whole, of an education locked in a total plenum.
We all know that education itself is locked in that universe in which you have to learn to stand, sit, speak, eat, listen, smile at life, walk; to educate ourselves in human behavior, in attitudes, in work, in knowing how to live together, of course in sexuality.
Two out of every 20 parents sit down before their children to explain what sex is when they start to show concern about the topic, the rest only mention the topic, say they are busy, or simply do not pay attention to the question and feel that they are dying. out of shame that guys want to know about sex or sexuality.
Many of the parents, however, recognize their mistake when something unforeseen related to sexuality arises; unwanted pregnancy, excessive masturbation, prostitution and even abortion are subjects that later bring us bitter consequences.
There is nothing better than good sexual information from home, and not waiting for the 12-year-old boy or girl to look for the information around the corner and told in other ways.
Trite is the phrase and very few who manage to adopt the deep meaning that "Education begins at home", certainly, we can not leave the education of our children in the hands of strangers.
We leave our children in the hands of people who know more and who intend to
do their job well, such as teaching, learning, the profession of knowledge that implies a greater interest than those who profess it, teachers.
We cannot leave the universe of education to them or to any other person, to a small extent they help us educate them, but only in the education of knowledge, nothing more.
Sex education is offering our children a role model, the child who sees his parents treating each other with love and respect, solving their anger and conflicts without attacking each other, giving support in different activities and enjoying life together, is learning the fundamentals of the relationship between a man and a woman.
Sex education consists of promoting in the child the knowledge, care and respect for his own body and that of others. Let's remember that well-known phrase "The first four years make life."
At that time, children begin to discover other parts of their body and with it, new sensations.
It is natural for preschool-age children to express interest in sexual matters. Let's never give our children a false answer that we then have to deny.
3rd. Part
Before the couple separates, it is important to talk to your children about this decision. It will be necessary to say as clearly as possible, with simple explanations, that they will no longer be able to live together in the same house.
If possible, it is much better to do it together. Insisting that the children are not responsible for the decisions made will help a lot, that this determination is not due to anything that he has caused, it is very necessary, since, almost always a separation occurs after times of tension and conflict in the that children have been hopelessly close and may come to feel that they are guilty in some way.
It is common, sometimes, that children think that if mom or dad separated, it was probably because of something they did inadvertently, such as not playing with their little brothers, not wanting to run an errand, not being able to get excellent grades, for not doing homework etc.
This idea will necessarily have to be taken away from them. Ultimately it can cause serious internal conflicts from which even when the couple reunites, it is not easy to cope.
For children to be calm, it is necessary to talk to them and show them in some way that they are not guilty of the decision made by their parents.
One of the most difficult things for separating parents is the ability to communicate, however difficult it may seem when both are in good standing it is possible to separate relationship problems with the agreements that have to do with their children.
As important as the reasons that each had to build a separation and as annoying as they are, the children will always see them for what they are and they will never be able to distinguish between them, they both love each other the same, because one is mom and the other is dad and both are equally important and dear to them.
It is very natural that the child is dissatisfied, listless, angry or sad, sometimes he cannot concentrate and in fact it will be difficult for him to do so, he daydreams or is expressionless and reserved; he feels abandoned by his father who left and he fears that the other will also leave him at any time, when it is the mother who stays with him, he is always awaiting his return from work, he fears that one day he will not return. As painful as it may seem, children should be given the opportunity to express what they feel and think, they should talk about their doubts or fears.
It is important to encourage visits to relatives, friends and acquaintances of the children in order to feel confident and wrapped in the affection that, although it is not what he wants, will help him a lot, with this he will gradually forget the bad times that he their parents have provoked.
4th. Part
If you are one of those who use to walk in the fields, in the parks, in the gardens, go to the movies, to dinner, to go for a walk with the family, congratulations! In general, children always need a day of healthy recreation. With their parents, in this way we show great love and interest in our children and those moments of happiness and family harmony are forever marked in the memory of the little ones.
And if you are one of those who do not make the attempt to walk with their children because the multiple occupations do not allow us, because work is more important than family, leave work a little, now, and spend more time with them, It is better now, because, for the most wonderful moments of our life next to our families "It is worth living."
Children can find fun in everything their children do. They live a wonderful stage so that, as parents they live it with them, enjoy with them the different activities and so that they learn that accompanying others or being accompanied makes them more cheerful, pleasant and life threatening.
Generally, it is more difficult to organize ourselves for a good walk with the family than to organize ourselves at work, because thinking about what we will do in our free time requires a good imagination and creativity, how curious, don't you think?
Family activities sometimes cause tension, anger and even misunderstandings, so it is important to plan it very carefully, because those moments are forever marked in our existence and that of our children, an afternoon with them is also a life of happiness.
Let's listen very carefully to the following anecdote about parents who do not pay attention to their young children.
Dad we play?
A father, tired after work, returns home and sits down to read the newspaper. His little son says to him: Dad, do we play? As he approaches smiling with his ball. The father responds:
Leave me alone, I'm very tired and busy. Go outside to play with your ball. «The boy, full of sadness, goes out with his ball to the street. The father continued reading the newspaper. After a while, the crash of a car was heard. The father came out to see what it was about.
He found his son run over to look for his ball. The father would not be bothered by his son again and would never hear his little one's voice again saying, DID WE PAUGH?
How many times do we think we are so miserably busy and we do not realize
how much we need our children and contrary to that we give friends more time than our family.
Sant Takhar Sing says in his book "Compassionate Heart" "You may have thousands of friends, millions, but your family will always be your family.
- A few minutes with our children are very important -
5th. Part
When we live immersed in work occupations, financial pressure, family tension, etc., we are cornered in such a way that everything we must do well is often done badly.
It is the case of the formation of habits in the family, children cannot get used to something when it has not been possible to carry out it personally, we must necessarily get used to being able to invite children to do the same.
If you are one of those who, when you get home, sits in front of the television to watch football, don't doubt that your children will do exactly the same.
How can you get their attention if you do not exemplify or do something for them. Sit down in front of the television, be accompanied by a good beer and we will have as a consequence a future boy who, when she gets home, will demand from mom to eat, drink and everything that is within the reach of her parents.
Notice when a boy is in front of a jug of water and even when it is at your fingertips he has water served.
This is not a good habit, because we have not taught you to get used to and educate yourself in that aspect.
Now, when you get home, practice the following with your youngest child, take a book or a newspaper, read and notice the difference, the child will immediately take something that contains letters and will follow your example as a parent, surely Your interest in reading has just awakened you at that moment, just when you understand that what you were doing with your older children was not correct.
In this way, we constantly forget to habituate ourselves to something and we want our children to do it, when we have not been an example for them.
Make a list of activities that you usually do on a daily basis and you will find that most of them are a habit and that you could not easily give them up.
Those actions that we repeat in the same way and in the same order we call habits.
Forming habits means teaching children to meet their needs according to a certain order and a certain organization.
To form habits, you have to decide and fix in advance the way things will be done, the place and the time. Habits are formed by repetition, they are like a loop formed by several threads.
If someone performs an action only once, the thread breaks easily. If you repeat it for a week, you need more strength to break seven threads together. And after three months, breaking the rope will cost you a lot of work, so are habits.
Habits make life easier because we don't have to think and decide every action.
At first to establish the habit we need to pay close attention, but then we do the routines naturally, without effort. Doing some things out of habit allows us to use energy in more interesting, fun and creative activities.
