What is envy?
Envy is often confused with jealousy. Jealousy refers to feeling threatened with respect to a rival of the person we love. It is not the same as envy. I would like to share a very clear definition of envy that I found on Wikipedia:
“Envy is the emotion that occurs when a person lacks some qualities with respect to another, achievements or possessions, or wishes that the other person does not have these qualities. In envy it seems that there is a social comparison that threatens the self-esteem of another person: Someone has something that the envious person does not have ”.
Therefore envy refers to feeling threatened by someone who we believe has something important to us. Jealousy, on the other hand, refers to feeling threatened by a rival with respect to the person we love.
Envy and low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem are always comparing themselves to others. They believe that they do not have good qualities therefore they feel inferior to others. They also feel that others are more important than themselves.
Have you ever been envious? Certainly I have felt envy many times. When we feel envy we have the opportunity to be more aware of our low self-esteem. It is an opportunity to look within and question why we are feeling it.
We are envious because we don't accept ourselves, we don't love ourselves enough. Both envy and jealousy are toxic emotions, however we can use these emotions and transform them into healthy ones.
In order to transform envy into a healthy emotion we need to love and respect ourselves as we are and be grateful for who we are, becoming more aware that we are worthy and important. Envy as a healthy emotion can help us become better people because when we realize that we feel inadequate in comparing ourselves to others, this is the time to accept it.
If you are envious of something you don't have, you can use this negative emotion and transform it into a positive one by doing something. For example, if you are envious that someone has a car that you do not have, we can approach this situation as follows:
• I would like to have that car, and ask myself: can I have it? Then think of different ways to obtain it, such as saving more money, making more money, etc.
• The other way would be to want to have that car but not be willing to do anything to get it. In this case, envy is useless because we are not willing to do what it takes to achieve it.
• Finally, we can find ourselves in the situation where we can do nothing; which is very different from being unwilling to do anything. Then we could start to feel grateful instead of envious and happy for the other person. If we cannot feel happy it means that we cannot accept ourselves as we are right now and we are trying to be someone else.
Conclusion:
Envy is an emotion like so many others and if we can become aware of what we are feeling we can transform it into a healthy emotion that will help us live happier.
“Envy is a symptom of a lack of appreciation of our dignity. Each of us has something unique to give that others do not have ”. Unknown author.
