Self-esteem is a term used in psychology that refers to the evaluation that one makes of his own value; That evaluation is what determines the way in which we present ourselves to the world. The person with a healthy self-esteem is characterized by knowing herself well. Your self-awareness and self-awareness include a deep understanding of your strengths and weaknesses; She presents herself to the world with confidence, but more importantly, she reflects being happy for who she is.
As an adult, wouldn't you like to learn to boost your self-esteem to boost your confidence? And if you have children, wouldn't you want to help them develop healthy self-esteem? Clear! Because we know that accepting and believing in yourself is one of the most important factors for well-being, success and happiness in life.
In his book "The Eleventh Commandment" Dr. Rosen talks about 5 important factors that help us better understand how our self-esteem works. Next, we will review "the self-esteem formula", the factors that make it up, and we will review some tips to consciously work on them:
1. Work on Self-Concept: Everything starts from what you believe about yourself: "I am weak, I am strong, I am good at…, I am bad at…"
Coaching Tip: It is not about defining who you are, it is about recognizing who you are "being" in a certain circumstance or at a certain moment in your life, if you don't like how you have been "being", visualize the person you aspire to be and begins to work in that direction.
2. Establish your existential position: It is the position I think I have with respect to those around me: '”I am less than…, I am more than…”'
Coaching Tip: Self-awareness and acceptance of who we are, with all our strengths and weaknesses, is the best way to regain our position. Do the personal work you need to get to know yourself and learn to tell yourself: "I know who I am and I am enough."
3. Meet your needs: Everyone has needs and spends a lot of time trying to meet them; and many times we cannot do it because we get stuck deciding if we are going to give ourselves the permission to ask or to give ourselves what we need, thinking: "I don't deserve it…, It's fine like that, or if I deserve it…"
Coaching Tip: Recognizing that we need to meet our needs is as important as meeting them. Learn to accept compliments and congratulations simply by saying "thank you" instead of demeaning yourself and don't put off celebrating your little successes and progress, because if you put in the effort… you surely deserve it!
4. Be in touch with your emotions: Your thoughts are manifested through your emotions: anger, joy, resignation, sadness, enthusiasm.
Coaching Tip: Don't be afraid of negative emotions, they are a natural part of life. Part of developing emotional intelligence is the ability to decide how long we are going to stay in an emotional state and what we are going to do to get out of it. * Note: If you've spent time getting out of a negative emotional state and nothing seems to be working, it's probably time to ask a professional for help.
5. Focus on your behavior: We manifest how we feel about ourselves through our behavior. The most common behaviors are those of submission, aggression or assertiveness.
Coaching Tip: Setting limits is a crucial step to protect self-esteem, it is just as important as learning to say "no" and avoiding any resentment that can build up and turn into negative behavior.
Respecting the limits of others and the integrity of the people around us helps us live in harmony and cultivate positive relationships.
Source: "The Eleventh Commandment" author M. Rosen.
