"Empathy" is the extraordinary ability to understand the thoughts and emotions of others; that is, to put oneself in the shoes of others and share their feelings. It is not necessary to go through the same experiences to interpret those around us. It is a tool aimed at intuiting the innumerable and complex human diversity.
The severe and undoubted existential crisis demands to form a community of empathic beings, capable of respecting and accepting others. Empathic people are the ones who best read their peers. They are able to capture information from non-verbal language, words, tone of voice, posture, facial expression, etc. and they can know what goes on inside them.
This begins to expand in childhood: parents safeguard their children's emotional expectations and teach them to express their own feelings and discover their environment. “Empathy” is a potential: therefore, we are all in a position to boost its growth and raise our quality of life with its application.
Likewise, it makes it possible to forge an optimal coexistence and tolerance at times when individualism and apathy make human relationships difficult. It makes the development of solidarity feasible and, consequently, encourages practices in favor of the common good. A community of empathic men and women will reveal a high degree of social sensitivity, commitment and emotion.
From my point of view, it is linked to "Interpersonal Intelligence", one of the eight intellectuals registered by the renowned North American professor, researcher and psychologist Howard Gardner in his revealing Theory of Multiple Intelligences, which earned him the Princess of Asturias Award for Social Sciences (Spain, 2011).
This allows to distinguish the contrasts in moods, temperament, motivations and intentions, makes it possible to notice the purposes and desires of others, even if they have been hidden. Also, working with people, assisting others to identify dilemmas and promoting mutual interaction. Its increase makes the subject empathic, reinforces an outstanding collective bond and enables them to face daily pressures, adversities and setbacks.
"Empathy" will facilitate the resolution of unlimited conflicts in an environment full of selfishness and pettiness of various kinds. Their assimilation would mean giving up the usual levels of indifference and, especially, going out of our comfort zone to look at others with a sympathetic attitude, free from reproaches and sentences. Hence, it requires a change in our way of seeing ourselves and others.
Their incorporation would force us to assume a flexible position and give in in the face of situations in which we believe we are "masters of the truth." It would generate a sense of apparent weakness or lack of authority, as the case may be. Being part of an invertebrate, unsupportive and disjointed nation, limits the ability to tackle this invaluable skill. Even more so when its inhabitants are defined by their weak and petty sense of belonging.
"Empathy" involves a process of understanding, acceptance, reflection and tolerance. Sometimes the head of the family is incompatible: she would learn to listen to her children and admit that she is not always right; I would be self-critical of their authoritarian, pushy, and negative reactions. He would be forced to use his emotional intellect in place of his traditional affront.
For a high-ranking company official, exhibiting an empathic behavior would be detrimental, to the extent that he would recognize the unfair working conditions of his subordinates, the arbitrariness aroused on a daily basis, the existing feeling of frustration and the dismal organizational climate at the expense of productivity and loyalty of its collaborators.
The frivolous, cowardly and insensitive public employees, experts in sordid maneuvers and fearful behaviors, would find an analogous inconvenient, who turn their backs on the needs of the citizen and show a performance typical of felons skilled in shady behaviors in order to ensure their survival in the state apparatus.
To a mortal hardened to jealous of his partner, regardless of the alteration of the other person's mood, being empathic would mean giving up such a childish, possessive and immature procedure that many believe to be common in order to hide his lack of security and self-love.
The same happens with individuals who are fond of being late, anxious to play with their cell phones at the table in family or friends gatherings, used to asking impertinent questions and, at the same time, showing poor manners, deteriorated hygiene and personal image and gestures hostile. If they had a symbolic dose of "empathy" they would perceive the discomfort that they arouse around them with such a deplorable performance.
Dear reader: for a moment let's think about how your existence and that of our peers would be if we include “empathy” in our life agenda and we manage to turn it into an inherent quality in professional, family and social work. I am convinced that the critical problems that deteriorate and collide with humane treatment would be largely overcome. It is an urgent matter to which we must address in order to generate an awareness aimed at changing our behavior.
I am satisfied to conclude this contribution evoking the wise words of the Austrian doctor and psychiatrist Alfred W. Adler: "Look with the eyes of another, listen with the eyes of another and feel with the heart of another." Remember: it is in our hands to achieve a harmonious, respectful and friendly survival.
(*) Teacher, consultant in event organization, protocol, professional image and social etiquette.
