All human beings require recognition and acceptance. Sometimes, however, this search becomes compulsive and the search for approval can lead to unpleasant bouts of anxiety and guilt. Keep reading.
It is a fact that as an active part of nature, human beings have needs. To survive, we require food, shelter, and clothing.
However, in addition to these material needs, we have other psychological or emotional requirements that deserve to be satisfied in order to achieve optimal functioning and adequate development as a human person. In essence, it is about the need for affection, inclusion, belonging, which is sometimes distorted and becomes a compulsive search for recognition and approval.
I define the need for approval, as an expectation of acceptance, endorsement, support or admission, which prompts us to behave in a certain way to avoid rejection and to be recognized as friends or allies.
Under certain circumstances, this desire for acceptance or inclusion can become a high priority, a recurring desire of high intensity that leads us to exhibit fixed and unhealthy behaviors that almost always generate strong emotional discomfort.
In causal terms, the need for approval is related to low self-esteem, with a poor assessment of ourselves, which generates a feeling of inferiority and a seldom conscious race towards the search for reaffirmation on the part of those around us.
The mistreatment received in childhood and adolescence, as well as low tolerance for our mistakes by parents and other authority figures, often influence our self-image and our sense of worth, thus affecting our sense of dignity personal.
To overcome the compulsion of approval, we must begin by accepting that it is a real problem, that it affects us and that it demands its acceptance, as well as a sincere and immediate approach.
In addition, one way to overcome the need for approval is to combat the mental past, the memories of limiting experiences that prevent us from acting creatively and adult in the present. Today is not yesterday. The present is unique, each day is totally new.
You can count your accomplishments, gifts, and talents, and frequently remind yourself that you have them, and of course, you must also put them into action to enjoy the benefits associated with the rational deployment or use of those talents. And all that you achieve, write it down, document it so that you can keep it in mind if you ever experience episodes of insecurity and doubt about its quality and worth.
Read stimulating self-improvement books. They will help you stay focused on the positive aspects of your personality. There is too much to learn and books will help you learn it in a relatively short time.
Get together with people who value you and show their appreciation. It's a proven fact that we end up looking like the people we frequently hang out with.
Fight any thought of understatement that comes to mind. Every negative idea, immediately replace it with a positive one.
Avoid comparing yourself to others. Each one is each one and the best dog could never be compared to the best cat, since each one would show advantages and disadvantages due to their natural difference.
When making a decision, avoid depending on others and consulting every moment. Develop autonomy, trust your judgment, and take risks. Little by little you will learn to choose well.
Do not confuse what you are with what you do. A mistake does not make you a wrong person.
Consider and apply these suggestions, work on developing healthy self-esteem, and very soon, you will no longer require others to tell you whether or not you are a valuable person. It is a gift from God that you already are. You only have to accept it so that its magic and its brilliance can manifest.
And remember, you were not born to please anyone. As Perls said: I am I
You are you. I am not in this world to meet your expectations. You are not in this world to fulfill mine. You are You, I am I. If at some point or time we meet, it will be wonderful. If not, it can not be helped. Thanks for reading me. www.laexcelencia.com.
