Personal relationships do not always turn out as we wish. Sometimes, the conflicting interests lead to discrepancies that can lead to attacks, not necessarily physical, against who is considered an opponent, adversary or enemy. How to protect yourself to avoid emotional damage? Keep reading.
Frequently social interaction in areas such as the couple, the family, the company and, in general, society, places us in a situation of having to deal with people who can induce us with their behaviors, willingly or not, emotional damage.
Although it is true that most of our emotional reactions are due more to our own interpretations than to the situations we experience, there are circumstances in which we feel helpless, weak or susceptible. For such cases, we need to learn to develop what I here call emotional protection. Emotional protection is a defense mechanism and preservation of stability and emotional well-being, whose objective is to avoid imbalances and discomforts that can affect our functional efficiency and a normal rhythm of life.
What is it that produces negative emotional impact on us? Generally, we are affected by the words and behaviors of some people, especially when they reveal rejection, manifested as indifference, disagreement, invalidation, segregation, threat or blame.
Sometimes a sarcastic phrase, a negative joke about us or a body gesture of disapproval is enough for us to react negatively and see the rest of the day ruined.
Facing these situations involves taking measures to prevent or overcome what we consider or value as an emotional attack.
The first thing to understand is that interpersonal differences are natural and tend to drive many to see others as adversaries or enemies and to experience the urge to attack, annoy or hurt them.
The second thing that is required is to understand that this is a primitive reaction, directed by a part of our brain known as the "limbic circuit", which polarizes emotional responses, in the form of attack or flight. In addition, there is a tendency that when some people feel bad emotionally, they assume that their discomfort is "because of" others. This is a defensive mental strategy to not take responsibility for what you feel, which is known in psychology as "projection."
Faced with this, it is necessary (and this is the third aspect) to harden oneself, to stop being emotionally susceptible to the perverse games of people who are socially awkward, not very empathetic, or eventually evil.
You must ensure that the punctilious darts of these provocateurs do not affect you. Make yourself comment resistant. Keep an eye on your goals and opportunities. There will always be failures who operate as food-hungry scavengers.
A fourth form of response is information protection. Telling everything, revealing plans and accomplishments, give the unscrupulous useful details to use against you. Prudence and discretion are recommended, without reaching anxiety or paranoia. Just as you should not leave objects in the sight of thieves, do not leave information available to the insidious. In the framework of protection, you can also stay away from negative people. Get out of your radius of observation and action. The less they notice, the better. If you don't go out in the rain, you won't get wet.
The fifth element is direct defense coping. It is a calculated counterattack that makes the aggressor think about giving up his intentions. Troublemakers by trade tend to prefer easy prey. Giving a sharp answer is recommended as a last resort, especially when our public image has been affected and we are placed in disrepute. There, a legitimate defense is required, which can put things in their proper place. If you are going to defend yourself, do so verbally, forcefully and preferably in front of few people.
As we can see, it is about preventing and overcoming with understanding, proactivity, emotional hardening and calculated counterattack, the aggressions that could affect us emotionally.
Finally, we must remember as already indicated at the beginning of this writing, that it is our identification with certain meanings, our interpretation, which will determine how we will feel in each situation. It is up to us to act intelligently or to allow ourselves to be carried away by provocations.
