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Negative reviews have their positive side

Anonim

From an early age, we learn what other people expect of us when we have to face certain facts. This is not such a terrible thing to bear. The problem begins when we combine the ideas of our mind with our premature learning. In general, many people do not learn that facing these facts in a satisfactory way comes from the constant search for proof and from the verification of those evidences that make up the puzzle, but these facts are simple statements that life gives us daily. After this search, we learn that the facts are true and that we have that statement that is presented as an exposition, so we no longer ask ourselves questions. There are certain times when this type of approach helps us to have a certain advantage in the world around us.

When they tell us: "the fire burns" or "it's very cold", these statements lead us to verify certain facts that we can understand simply because they are real, we only have to adapt our behavior to face the consequences of those events, for example, not putting your hand in front of the fire because we get burned or covering ourselves when it's very cold because we can get sick.

These types of statements are not questioned. This does not mean that it is always like this, but our mind takes a practical position, does what is best for us to avoid burning ourselves. This does not cause us any anxiety or distress, we simply accept it to take care of ourselves.

These statements allow us to understand what their meaning is. We do not feel obliged by its consequences, because we know in advance that it will happen to us even if we have a visual perception, whether of fire or cold, but at the same time, we have the opportunity and the necessary information to make the right decision to us, whether by thinking, feeling and checking those facts.

These statements are neutral, they do not have any extra value and for that reason they are not questioned. But this situation is not so simple. If we take into account these statements that actually do have value, we also try to ensure a correct understanding of their meaning. No questions are asked even though there is a great possibility to ask them.

Si tomamos otras declaraciones que son positivas como por ejemplo, “hoy has trabajado de manera excelente” o “tienes un muy buen trato con la gente”. ¿Cómo tomarías este tipo de declaraciones? ¿Quizás te sientas algo incómodo? Pero tienes una comprobación de un hecho y no haces preguntas. La persona que realiza esta declaración ¿Qué quiso decir exactamente? ¿Te estas desempeñando muy bien en tu puesto de trabajo? ¿Cómo sabe esta persona que esto te ayudará a perfeccionar tus habilidades? ¿Esto te permitirá mejorar tus emociones, encarrilar tus pensamientos y tu comportamiento?

Receiving these types of statements is very pleasant, having an excellent relationship with people can be measured through performance and using this knowledge to handle certain situations. You don't tend to question these positive aspects of each one, you accept them naively, but you run the risk of not learning anything from them.

If we look at this objectively, it relates to laziness, but if we look at it a little deeper, this makes some sense. If we inquire into these statements, we would have to make a great effort all the time to try to understand the meaning that person wanted to make with those positive words.

Now, if we put the situation in another way, think about this, how would someone react if you say: What exactly did you mean by that phrase? What would your attitude be if someone asked you why you congratulated them? Surely you would feel strange at those words. This is the same as when we greet someone and say How are you? The answer that we hope is: "good", for us this would be enough. Why know more?

Socially, this type of answer is reasonable, it is not asked more, it produces a certain sense of tranquility and stimulates good relationships, although it is not a functional attitude. You may have some motivation, but what have you learned?

If we delve a little more, when we receive this type of statements when asking the other person, how is this? It should be complemented with the feeling of trust and certain positive comments, can something be learned with this way of relating? According to the other person's gesture, does your mind doubt the truth of their sayings? Do you comment out loud about it? Are you trying to care a little more for the person in front of you? If you only keep that answer, you will not learn anything and you will not be totally sure of the truth. Regarding your personal growth, there is no internal negotiation to understand what is happening to the other person. It has not increased your power with respect to understanding the talents, abilities, biases or weaknesses of another subject.You may be missing the opportunity to meet someone who is worth gold.

The emotional states that could be called neutral do not help the search for personal growth and the understanding of positive facts, only negative statements would remain.

How can negative statements help build that growth? When we get negative reviews, aren't we good at keeping our heads up? They may not be considered a great source of information for that type of personal growth, but it is through learning the negative reactions of others, the comments they make and their responses, when we begin to challenge with our minds which are our values ​​and what we need to put that negativity aside. You also learn from negative comments.

If we know what we are doing wrong, we can decide to change. Many people can be happy to know what we are doing wrong. They are comforted to be able to criticize. But you are not obliged to change because others do not like a certain thing about you, you should only make this change when you do not feel satisfied or you feel the need to transform something negative into a good attitude. Even though this is a negative review, you can learn something, they are giving you a map of which area is malfunctioning and you can change it. Now you have an outline of the place where there is a fault and you got it for free From something negative, you can learn something good, you have useful information that you can use to your benefit, developing a strategy that modifies what is bothering you,And that without that negative criticism, you would not have perceived it, because you were in a zone of comfort or laziness.

In the end, with this type of criticism, who is benefiting? Do you have the opportunity to see something that you did not have in your mind? Or the person who made that criticism? Undoubtedly, that you benefit. Learn to see the good within the negative.

Negative reviews have their positive side