Summary
In any discussion, both parties assume that they are right. The ego, pride makes us believe that the other is wrong and that only we are the owners of the truth. In this world there is such bad communication, so many words are handled whose meaning is understood in different ways, even silences are misinterpreted and on that basis conclusions are reached that often hurt the most loved ones.
The ego also loves the role of victim. It is always the other who offended us, it is always the other who yelled at us, it is always the other who disrespected us, consequently we believe that we have the right to offend, shout, disrespect as a defense mechanism.
The pride caused by the ego prevents us from accepting the fact that the other party could be right. Rather than straining to understand the other party's point of view, we look to our intellect for more reasons to support and support our approach.
He who has more ego, more desire to dominate, who wants to be the protagonist of each meeting, he who wants to have the last word in any debate is the one who ultimately suffers the most since he cannot detach himself from his ego. It is so difficult to get rid of the ego, since it produces enjoyment. The ego, so that the spirit does not impose itself, invades it and creates a kind of dependency. Relying on praise, recognition, applause, he wants to know he is needed.
In the case of the ego, the dependency is very strong. The person puts on a disguise of authority and this disguise of a boss is precisely the one that makes it very difficult to integrate love in his words and therefore very difficult to always be the master of himself. People are easily carried away by the role of victim, susceptibility, irascibility, etc., believing that they are the master when in reality they are slaves of their ego.
So many people get confused, they confuse the ego with their true self, with their own person. That is to say that they do not take it as a role but as they are themselves. They mistake the character for the actor.
How to beat the ego and avoid arguments? Enjoying the Service. When enjoying the Service, no other type of enjoyment is required, because you already enjoy thinking about the other. You don't put yourself as a main actor, not even as a supporting figure, you don't figure directly. Enjoy giving. Enjoying giving does not mean that you deprive yourself of your own enjoyment. A spirit of Light enjoys serving.
We know that any discussion at the family level brings suffering, because even if the discussion wins, the unity of spirit that should reign in the family is cracked. It would have to be the other way around. There should be support, altruism and a great vocation for Service.
The ego is the lower self, the susceptible one, the one that seeks to stand out, the one who is offended, the one who doubts everything, the one who wants to be right "even at the cost of…"
He who does not see beyond himself, he who does not see beyond his own ideas and feelings, is not qualified to give anything to anyone, he is not qualified to give his love to the family.
Negative emotions such as anger, envy, hatred and many other wrong feelings, only make the ego grow. The ego makes someone very high spiritually back down.
By feeding the ego, people question everything. They wonder why they live, they wonder why they work, why they have a certain disease, why they have a certain family. All the "why" come from the ego. They assume they deserve better.
The ego is our weakness, the ego is what makes us argue. Why don't we ask for forgiveness? Because our ego does not allow it. Why don't we bow our heads? Because our ego does not allow it. Why are we offended? Because our ego is very offended.
The Royal Leader came to serve, he came to give, he is the one who came, through love, to overcome all accumulated hatred.
The gospel asks us to forgive our offender seventy-seven times seven, and in the Lord's Prayer, Jesus tells us of God's forgiveness in relation to our ability to forgive those who offend us.
Forgiving is an action directly related to the command of love. However, I recognize that forgiving from the heart is not easy for me.
It is a very hard road that starts from the feeling of feeling offended to the joy of reconciliation. I once told my wife that my love for her is bigger than my ego. That is my big task for this year, to reduce my ego and increase the love towards my wife and my children.
I hope that these brief lines give you the strength to tie up our ego, lower it from its pedestal and that both you and I can forgive from the heart all those who have offended us and those we have relegated to our hearts. The Royal Leader does not hold grudges.
