Bad neighbors

The need to live in groups, in society is part of our human programming. We require sharing spaces and interests with others, known or not, loved or not. Unfortunately, few know, or want, to live together in a decent and respectful way, and many tend to express indifference, selfishness and disrespect. We call those, with good reason: bad neighbors.

Human beings, without exception, are dependent from the moment of our birth. We require support, maintenance and training to develop and fit into society. Such a process of insertion in the collective coexistence can be done consciously, participating in a responsible, adapted, sensitive and supportive way in the community; or unconsciously, revealing disrespectful, predatory, insensitive and maladaptive bonding attitudes.

Our societies are often marked by a perverse trace of decaying modernity, manifested by consumerism, competitiveness, selfishness, family disintegration, political inefficiency, outdated education, and a diseased and distorting mass media. All this sociocultural panorama of little heart and low moral, limits our humanity and dilutes our love for others.

This is the psychosocial soup in which "bad neighbors" appear, members, almost always, of dysfunctional families without clear values or defined norms, who tend to clash with the precepts of the civilized world. In general terms, they are good people with great potential, who through upbringing or personal decision, learned limiting behaviors that lead to daily conflicts.

One of the typical traits of bad neighbors is that they refuse to accept and fulfill agreements. They do not easily assimilate the idea of community, they focus on their own pleasure and they do not know the value of the expectations and needs of those around them.

Bad neighbors respond more to pressure than reason. They have a hard time thinking clearly and acting friendly. They consider decency, fraternity or courtesy to be weaknesses and when faced with any claim, they bother, challenge and attack.

Bad neighbors violate private spaces. Covered in excuses, they park their vehicles in the positions assigned to others, play, drink, shout and sing in other people's spaces or place garbage in areas not assigned for that. They are not aware of, or deliberately ignore, the discomfort their actions cause to other people.

Some bad neighbors tend to be noisy and violate the peace of others. They hear loud music at any hour, scandalize and impose themselves like rebellious children, crying out for authority. They celebrate in such a way that others do not sleep and do not imagine that their distraction becomes an ordeal for their neighbors.

There are bad neighbors who behave as if they were superior to the rest. They avoid complying with the rules and believe that the condominium payment and other special fees for the improvement of the common areas, is something silly and unnecessary. However, they are hard to complain about, when services crash and stop working.

Bad neighbors show a low sense of group collaboration. I have met one or another character who does not participate, criticizes those who work for common benefit and is inconsiderate in the face of the efforts of others.

Some bad neighbors are disrespectful. One such bad neighbor tendency is to annoy women, children, the elderly, and anyone who seems weak. This clearly antisocial behavior must be combated immediately by the community, before it is installed as normal, when it is, in reality, unhealthy and mediocre. Vulgarity and easy offense, slander and gossip, are the preferred resources of this peculiar type of neighbor that no one in their right mind would want to know about.

The darker side of a certain neighborhood occurs when criminals emerge who plunge into the predation of stealing, raping, consuming and selling drugs, in the face of which a police presence is imposed, often an accomplice by omission of the perversities that occur in numerous communities.

To paraphrase Skinner:

"Rewarded behavior is ongoing behavior."

Bad neighbors appear, impose and perpetuate themselves in those resigned communities that do not offer positive resistance, creating a culture of peaceful and productive coexistence among their members.

There are ways to deal with bad neighbors:

Understand that they are the product of dysfunctional families and societies Offer them opportunities for change Recognize positive changes no matter how small Help them understand the harmful effect they have on the community Incorporate them into transformation and change activities in communities Yes These mechanisms do not work, go to the support and protection provided by the law.

Specifically, if you have to live with bad neighbors, you have three options:

Adapt Push change Go to a community more suited to your values and goals.

Meanwhile, each father, mother, teacher, boss or leader has the opportunity to teach with words and actions the parameters of healthy neighborhood coexistence, respecting spaces, appreciating neighbors, apologizing if we make mistakes and promoting harmony. Thus, we collaborate with the creation of a better family, a better community, a better city, a better country, a better continent and a better world.