PREFACE
Today everyone talks about Quality. In particular, Total Quality is a sine qua non requirement for the survival of any company, institution or society, but when we talk about Total Quality, we are talking about Quality in each and every one of the components of the organization, institution or society.
self-help-from-need-to-desireThis implies that Human Quality must necessarily be developed. There cannot be Total Quality in an organization, institution or society, if there is no Personal Quality or Personal Mastery. Personal Quality involves the permanent development of the Human Being. That is why when we talk about Personal Development or more properly the Development of the Personal Being, it is necessary to begin by identifying what are the elements that allow this development. In this work we have decided to establish a development model that begins from the satisfaction of needs, until reaching a Vision, as the maximum expression of what our desires are. The model starts from the Being, which is obtained from the needs, as a starting point and must go until the obtaining of the Vision (the desire).
The Development of the Personal Being implies knowing who we are, as human beings, where we are going, how to achieve it and what are the actions that we must take to achieve it. This leads to knowing the elements of Being, how they influence our life, how we can become conductors of our existence, what is our commitment to the other, at all levels and how to manage our resources to achieve the objectives that we have set for ourselves.
From this process, we must achieve a significant improvement in our self-esteem and an elevation of our commitment as a human being in my five contexts, since this commitment is part of the essence of our life, allowing us to improve our interrelation with different contexts.
FROM NEED TO DESIRE
In the first part we establish the Needs, Desires and Expectations model. The second part introduces us to the knowledge of the elements of Being, our contexts and our needs, going through the processes of self-assessment, communication, decision-making and dealing with others. The third and last part takes us on the path of establishing our life goals, based on the meaning we want to give to it and the vision of the future that we want to build as human beings.
Walking the path of personal development is a fascinating challenge that we must take on, to constantly improve our own quality of life. Doing so implies an EXCELLENCE IS A WAY, a total change in our way of seeing and facing the world that is NOT A GOAL. surrounds. Helping them to do so is Lao Tzu. important task that we have set ourselves to accomplish with this work. We hope to be helpful enough for your personal development and the improvement of your quality of life.
I. INTRODUCTION
Some authors who have dedicated themselves to talking about the future coincide in saying that this new millennium is the millennium of the development of being. All this turn towards the natural and the so-called movement of the new era, allows us to observe that something is happening in the environment, in what refers to the meaning of the human being as the axis of a new and better society. However, we would be interested to know, who are those human beings that make up that society that we want to change and what should be their new characteristics?
In the model that is used in our Western society, this is a question that does not have a precise answer, since the individuals that make up this society, in general terms, do not have a clear conscience of who we are. The model of society in which we live is that of a society based on Having and not on Being. We have things as a consequence of our desires for possession, that is why we have work, we have children, we have a partner, we have a house, we have savings, etc., but we are not necessarily workers, or parents, or partners, or part of a home, nor thrifty.
We also tend to think that the difference is linguistic and not conceptual and we refuse to understand that having a job is not the same as being a worker, that having children is not the same as being parents, that having a partner is not the same as being a couple, that it is not the same to have a house than to be part of a happy home or to have savings than to be thrifty. Having is something that we can lose as a result of actions external to us, but what we are is not lost in any way, unless we ourselves make the decision to do so.
FROM NEED TO DESIRE
There is a profound difference between the added value of Being and the added value of Having. For example, if we take a lot of blocks, cement, rebar, sand, ceramic, wood and metal, it requires adding tangible value to turn it into a house. The addition of tangible value is something that can be done within the concept of object. Both the construction materials and the built house remain objects and the second is a consequence of the addition of tangible value to the first. If we now add an intangible value to the house, we can turn it into a home, which can no longer be conceived as an object, but as a concept of value. However, even though there is a profound difference between home and home, most of us, when we talk about home, we do so thinking about the home object and not the home value, so much so that, for example, many couples take a long time make the decision to marry, simply because they still do not have a house in which to form a home, so that it seems that the important thing is not to be part of a happy home, but to have a house.
In this way we can appreciate that the concept of Being is fundamentally associated with the concept of Necessity. It is through the true identification and attention to our needs as human beings that we can define our Being. If we discover what our needs are as human beings and identify which are the actions that add the greatest possible value in satisfying them, we will be describing our Being. A Being must be able to describe himself, accept and value himself as such.
The second element that makes up the Being, is the ability we have to perform actions to meet needs and satisfy them, since the accumulation of needs that we have, requires hierarchization and knowing how to properly use our own resources to satisfy them in the best way. We have to rank and evaluate, since we must become aware of our limitations and accept them as such, valuing our strengths, to make appropriate use of them. Whoever develops the ability to attend to his own needs is developing his Being.
A third important element in Being is represented by Experience. This happens because experience is a permanent source of learning that saves time and energy in meeting our needs. Of course, an adequate and intelligent management of the experience is required so that it is really useful in our purpose of satisfying needs and does not become an obstacle. Developing an adequate management of our experiences is a fundamental part of what it means to be.
We have started from a model of Being, based on three elements: our Needs, the Capacities we have to meet them and the appropriate use of our Experiences to promote learning. Under this model we will try to understand how a different way of living can be generated, more adequate and with greater possibilities of producing well-being and prosperity.
It is clear that if we do not know who we are who make up society, we cannot know who we are as a society. It is our goal to develop a better understanding of ourselves, to promote a better understanding of our current society and to create a better society from it.
We hope to meet this need in an appropriate way.
FROM NEED TO DESIRE
II. THE NEEDS
We would not want to start this work without previously defining very clearly what the word Need means; For this we will make use of the Dictionary of the Royal Academy of the Spanish Language, (XXI Edition, Espasa-Calpe). According to this Dictionary, the word NEED comes from the Latin necessitas, -atis and has the following meanings:
- Irresistible impulse that causes causes to work infallibly in a certain sense. Everything that is impossible to avoid, lack or resist. Lack of things that are necessary for the preservation of life. Continuous lack of food that causes one to lose heart. Special risk or danger that is suffered, and in which help is needed promptly Body evacuation of urine or excrement, which applies to things that cannot be dispensed with. A state in which one will certainly lose his life if he is not helped or does not get out of him Teol. State in which one is exposed to the danger of losing temporal or eternal life. The latter is called serious spiritual need. Act as circumstances require, out of necessity
Let us observe that most of the meanings (italics ours) of the word Need have to do with a sense of indispensable. When it is said that meeting a need is necessary for life, it is being said that not meeting it could lead us to death.
At this point, it is worth noting that most of us think of needs from the point of view of the definitions marked 3, 4, 5, 8, and 9. What does this mean? That we think of the need, only when its lack is openly manifested. If you ask a happy couple if they need love, the immediate answer is NO. Why? Because we already have it. The fact of HAVING LOVE makes us realize that love is no longer a necessity, at least for now. However, from the conceptual point of view, the fact of having a lot of love at any given moment does not mean that one does not need it.
We have a materialistic perception of what needs are.
What consequences can this fact bring us? Something very simple, prevents us from comprehensive personal development. If when I analyze myself, I determine that I already have a series of well-attended needs, I lose the stimulus to continue attending to them. This means that if one, for example, is very responsible, but is not very tolerant, it is possible that by putting a lot of emphasis on wanting to be tolerant, lose something or much of the ability to be responsible. It is necessary to be aware that the continuous improvement of the human being involves improving not only what is wrong, but also what we consider to be good, since everything can be improved. It is necessary to understand that what I do well today, I must do better tomorrow, that what I do not do well today, I must do well tomorrow and that what I have never done, I must learn to do,if I really want to be a better person every time.
It is important to note that despite the fact that not meeting our needs can lead to death, normally we are not aware of how we are committing suicide involuntarily, little by little, by not attending to our needs and although it seems an exaggeration, the word Suicide is the one that best explains our normal attitude towards life.
But, how can we understand this involuntary suicide? In what way can we understand that this is a reality of our daily life? To do this, we will begin by classifying the needs, according to their urgency, into four types:
- Short-term needs Medium-term needs Long-term needs Indefinite-term needs
The existence of these categories determines the sneaky way in which human beings provoke the aforementioned suicide.
Let's see below, through the definitions, why we make this statement.
SHORT-TERM NEEDS
We will call Short-Term Needs those that have an immediate effect (in minutes or a few hours) on us. These needs do not require a long waiting period, but act immediately, producing death. An example of this can be seen in the need to breathe. Some people with very well developed lungs and using proper techniques may be able to go up to five minutes without breathing. However, if you wait a little longer, the consequence is death. No short-term need can go unsatisfied, as death occurs instantaneously or almost instantaneously.
MEDIUM-TERM NEEDS
We will call Medium Term Needs those that act on us within days or weeks. These needs can be displaced for a reasonable time by other needs, but without exceeding a certain limit. They do not act immediately, but they can still kill us if we take too long to care for them. An example of this can be seen in the need for food. We can go up to four or five days without eating or drinking, but after this period, if the need is not met, what comes is death. The same happens with the need for daily rest (sleep). Once the limit of hours that can be borne without sleep has been exceeded, the body enters a state of torpor, which can lead to an accident capable of causing death.
LONG TERM NEEDS
We will call Long-Term Needs those that act on us over a period of months or years. These needs can be displaced for a long time by other needs and can sometimes give the impression that it is not important to meet them. However, if they are not cared for at some point, they can also lead to death. The dangerous thing about these needs is that they generate a wrong perception of reality. They produce the feeling that they are not indispensable and their consequences generally manifest themselves in such a way that it is not easy to associate them with the unmet need. An example of this can be seen in the need to rest mentally and emotionally (vacation). Every human being has a limit to how much he can work without resting, but the general average is around seven years. If you don't rest,the body will begin to manifest a series of ailments and problems, which will generate discomfort and which will ultimately undermine physical health. The end result of it is death. All long-term needs behave this way.
NEEDS FOR AN UNDEFINED TERM.
We will call Indefinite Term Needs those that, even when they do not have a defined period of time to act, take their toll unexpectedly through events of daily life, such as accidents, problems with other people, layoffs, etc. These needs are the most ruthless, because of the tragic way in which they manifest themselves. Failure to attend to them properly leads to death. These needs, like those of the previous point, also generate a wrong perception of reality. The problem is that in daily life we are sometimes intermittent in managing these needs (generally associated with human values) and there are some of them that are violated more than others. This happens for example with the needs of honesty, responsibility, sincerity, etc. The same happens with love,affection and others like that. If, for example, you are consistently irresponsible, at some point you can have an accident capable of causing death. If you are consistently dishonest, it is possible that at some point you could be caught stealing, for example, and that eventually this fact leads to death, as happens when a robber is killed in action. If you are consistently insincere, it is possible that someone who is affected by insincerity, feel threatened and react violently causing the death of the insincere. However, as these events are not usual and we always see them distant from us, we think that they will never happen to us and we act as if that were the case.at some point you can have an accident capable of causing death. If you are consistently dishonest, it is possible that at some point you could be caught stealing, for example, and that eventually this fact leads to death, as happens when a robber is killed in action. If you are consistently insincere, it is possible that someone who is affected by insincerity, feel threatened and react violently causing the death of the insincere. However, as these events are not usual and we always see them distant from us, we think that they will never happen to us and we act as if that were the case.at some point you can have an accident capable of causing death. If you are consistently dishonest, it is possible that at some point you could be caught stealing, for example, and that eventually that fact leads to death, as happens when a robber is killed in action. If you are consistently insincere, it is possible that someone who is affected by insincerity, feel threatened and react violently causing the death of the insincere. However, as these events are not usual and we always see them distant from us, we think that they will never happen to us and we act as if that were the case.as happens when a robber is killed in action. If you are consistently insincere, it is possible that someone who is affected by insincerity, feel threatened and react violently causing the death of the insincere. However, as these events are not usual and we always see them distant from us, we think that they will never happen to us and we act as if that were the case.as happens when a robber is killed in action. If you are consistently insincere, it is possible that someone who is affected by insincerity, feel threatened and react violently causing the death of the insincere. However, as these events are not usual and we always see them distant from us, we think that they will never happen to us and we act as if that were the case.
The fundamental problem of human beings is the inability to view the facts of life in a systemic way, relating the effects with the corresponding causes. Everything that we are or we cease to be human beings is a function of the needs that we satisfy or fail to satisfy.
How do health needs act?
The health of the human being goes through three different states, one of fullness, one of propensity and one of disease. The next state (which would become the fourth), is no longer of health but of death. Let's proceed to define each one of them to know what it is about.
STATE OF FULLNESS (FULL HEALTH).
The state of fullness occurs when all needs are being adequately satisfied. This state allows you to feel positive, face life with energy and motivation. Of course, the best moments in life are achieved in the state of Fullness. The state of fullness is associated with positive attitudes towards life. When positive attitudes are maintained, there is the least possible waste of energy. Positive states allow us to see the glass "half full" and not "half empty", see opportunities instead of threats, and act positively in all aspects of our life.
PROPENSION STATE
The state of propensity occurs when some or many of the needs (especially those with a high emotional or spiritual component) are not being adequately satisfied and the body begins to react physically to them. This state places the body in a state of general alertness. When you are in a state of alert is when you feel stressed. Stress is the way we represent this state. In this condition, you are prone to move quickly to the next state (disease).
The state of Propensity creates a situation of temporary immunodeficiency that does not allow the body an adequate defense of its aggressors. Seeing threats permanently generates enormous emotional exhaustion that places us in extreme situations for our health.
ILLNESS STATUS
The state of illness occurs as a consequence of not attending to the call made by the needs during the state of propensity. The state of alert must be interpreted properly, to know which needs are unsatisfied in order to attend to them so as not to enter the state of disease. The state of illness is the highest manifestation in life of the dissatisfaction of needs. Illness is normally understood as a physical fact, but all of them have their origin in the mental / emotional / spiritual incapacity that we have to treat them properly. In diseases, we normally see the fact or consequence, but we do not see the causes and these are normally in our hands and are due to something we have done or not done.
There is a systemic relationship (Figure 1) between not meeting our needs and damage to health. These damages manifest themselves in the form of stress, anguish, bad mood, exhaustion, depression, etc. Take a careful look at your moods and health, and try to identify the unmet needs that are associated with them. You will see that it is not an easy task. Most of the
Alternative therapies that are known today are based on the search for that systemic relationship that exists between the previously unknown cause (unmet needs) and the effect (states of propensity or disease) generated by the reinforcing cycle.
It is for this reason that these alternative therapies are often seen as a thing of magic, since their results are usually immediate. This happens because by attacking the cause, the effect is controlled immediately. The magic of these therapies is that they manage to identify something that is difficult for us to do, such as our unmet needs. That is why Aromatherapy, Biodanza, Neurolinguistic Programming, Adaptogenic Medicine and others are viewed with wonder and curiosity.
Human beings normally move through these three states. The greater percentage of time spent in any of these states determines whether you are a healthy person (most of the time in a state of fullness), if you are a stressed person (most of the time in a state of propensity) or if one is a sick person (most of the time in a state of illness).
While the disease state is the worst of all, it is in the propensity state that most people spend the most time. When a long time is spent in this last state, the body gets used to the generation of substances produced by the brain (drugs such as Adrenaline, Epinephrine, Norepinephrine, etc.), which allow the body to prepare for action (flight, increase of physical strength, emotional preparation, etc.). Remember that the brain produces these drugs in order to provide human beings with elements for their survival. These drugs, acting in a prolonged way on the human being, produce states of dependence or addiction, from which it is difficult to escape. One of these common addictions is the so-called workholism (1) (work addiction),product of the permanent stress that occurs during work time.
A proof of these addictions can be seen in the fact that when disconnecting from addictive activity, a physical reaction of the body takes place that immediately leads to the state of disease, just as happens with drug addicts. The most obvious example of this is what happens when you go on vacation. During the weeks prior to departure, a great deal of effort goes into getting everything in order so that there are no problems during absence. However, the day after departure, when stress and the corresponding production of drugs decrease violently, the first symptoms of an illness begin to be felt, such as the flu, an upset stomach, fever, headache, etc.
The above statement can be further reinforced, noting that today many companies have been forced to carry out special programs for their employees and executives about to retire. What is most surprising is that most of these early retirement programs have dynamics similar to those of programs designed to beat addiction in drug addicts.
It can be stated categorically and precisely that health is in the hands of some key aspects of daily life, such as:
- Food, sleep, rest, physical exercise, mental exercise, emotional control, spirituality, security, self-acceptance and that of others, adequate interrelation with others.
On our ability or inability to attend to these aspects, the physical health and the proper management of the life of each one of us will largely depend. Later, when we talk about being, we will see in detail what needs mean in different aspects of life. However, in our Western society, there is another element that limits the satisfaction of needs and this is none other than living constantly within the world of desire, as a product of sensual enjoyment, being framed within the paradigm of Having. We will dedicate the next chapter to knowing what desires are, in order to understand how they threaten the satisfaction of needs as human beings and we will understand why it is necessary to know the two models of social behavior of the human being, that is, the one that is based on the paradigm of Being and that which is based on the paradigm of Having. This will allow us to understand many of the great problems that we suffer day after day.
CHAPTER NOTES:
(1) We selected the word trabajoholismo because it is as close as possible to the translation of the English idiom work-holic. Author's note.
EXERCISE 2:
IDENTIFICATION OF NECESSITIES
On many occasions, it is difficult for us to identify what our most important needs are. As we have already mentioned, we generally think that something is a need only when we do not have it, since our paradigm of HAVING is present in it. If we ask a person about their needs right after breakfast, they hardly mention eating as a necessity. This happens because we do not think about the need to eat, but rather to eat, which is represented by “being hungry”.
We must learn to think about our needs from the point of view of their importance to us and not from the point of view of their lack. That is why we consider it important that you start from this point, to think about what are the needs that you value the most as a human being; To do this, we ask you to identify at least three needs that you consider essential for your personal life. The first must be a necessity for survival. The second is a necessity to live actively. The third must be a necessity to transcend as a human being.
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