We live in a competitive world, full of ambitious people, in which it is easy to wish to be what someone else is or have what someone else has. This reality stimulates the opening of the doors of envy, a dangerous feeling that can be highly destructive.
What is envy and how can we avoid it? Keep reading.
One of the behaviors considered most harmful in personal relationships is undoubtedly envy, since it is not pleasant to think that someone experiences discomfort due to the fact that we achieve health, money or love.
Let's start by saying that envy is a limiting internal state, generating frustration and suffering, that some people experience in the face of success or the well-being of others.
The basis of envy, according to Francesco Alberoni, a scholar of the subject, is based on the existence of two variables, desire and comparison. If I want something that I do not have and I compare myself with someone who does, the result is a process of discomfort that can become unbearable for those who suffer from it.
The scope of envy is infinite, since everything can be envied. Of others, we can wish their beauty, their health, their partner, their economic level, their social prestige, their material possessions or even their degree of happiness.
The cause of envy lies in low self-esteem. In a low self-esteem; in a lack of appreciation and appreciation of the marvels that we potentially are, human beings. The envious man reveals a frank ignorance of his resources; of your gifts, abilities and talents.
It can be said that childhood envy is healthier, since children lack the resources to obtain what they want and depend on their parents or representatives.
Adults, on the other hand, as beings endowed with countless possibilities to satisfy their expectations, cannot justify the emotional stagnation of envy, which is, by the way, socially repudiated, since society tends to value its heroes and leaders, to those who have strived to excel, win, succeed.
Envy can bring devastating effects: It causes us suffering, and in many cases it leads us to act in a hypocritical, disloyal and destructive way. Those who have been contaminated by the envy virus only see defects in the other, become hypercritical or act indifferently towards those who are the object of their unacceptance.
There are some indicators that allow us to recognize the arrival of envy, when it comes from others towards us:
- Changes in the way they treat us as our success increases Covert or obvious attempts to destroy our reputation Increase in the tendency to criticize us and look for defects Increase in flawed forms of communication such as irony or sarcasm Attempts to Block our achievements Coalition or bonding with envious others Evidence of discomfort at our successes Occasional indifference and refusal to celebrate our achievements
Although it may not seem like it, envy has a positive side. Turned into admiration for the other, or by natural human competitiveness, it can stimulate us to imitate what we yearn for and that stands out in those we envy. Thus experienced, it can become a positive trigger for achievement and a causal agent for improvement. However, outside of that exception, it represents a denial of empathy and its consequences are invariably harmful. Not for nothing has it been classified as one of the "capital sins."
What can I do to those who envy me?
- Know that envy is born of fear and that it is a frequent and natural feeling Avoid telling your plans to avoid external sabotage Do not yell at others about your achievements and if you do avoid acting arrogantly Praise the positive you see in the envious for that they recognize their own power.
What to do when the envious one is me?
- Focus on your own life, accept and appreciate what you are and what you have. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Make long-term plans, organize yourself in time you will reap what you sow. Accept that we do not all have the same talent or the same destiny.
In conclusion, envy is a limiting state arising from low self-esteem, which is based on a negative comparison with others whose achievements we consider unfair and threatening to us. Overcoming it implies developing self-confidence, focusing on our life more than that of others, comparing ourselves with ourselves and not with others, learning to control destructive reactivity, putting ourselves in the place of the envied person and prioritizing the value of good things first. relations.
If you want to live a happy, harmonious and productive life, you need to get vaccinated against the envy virus. Thanks for reading me.
