Today's article is the answer to a question that Carmen, one of my readers, asked me recently: What to do when you know what you want but can't get it? It is a question that I love because sometimes you think you have no options and it is simply that you are not aware that they are around you, only in ways that you do not expect. If this is your case and you know what you want but you think you can't get it, this is what you can do:
- Rethink what you believe. Are you sure you can't get it? 100% safe?Most of the time our beliefs greatly limit what we achieve, such as believing that if you do not have a vocation your professional life is lost. Or that if you are a certain age there is nothing you can do. If you only focus on the negative, on what you are not supposed to do, you will not be able to see the opportunities when they present themselves, because you see what you want to see… It is the typical case that you want to go to Canada and Suddenly you see books from Canada, travel deals, Canadians everywhere. You know what I mean:) In your case you will begin to see "proof" that you really can't, because it is what you are looking for, even if it is unconsciously. As Marie Forleo says “Everything is figure-out-able”, everything can be found out. If you think this way, it will be easier for you to see options and solutions.Look for alternatives. Sometimes it is true that you cannot get exactly what you want, but you can find alternatives. For example, you may not be able to be a professional dancer at eighty, but you can sign up for ballet classes and enjoy them. What is clear is that many times things are not easy and you have to be flexible and try different things, because if you don't want to do anything different you will continue as you are. So think, what alternatives do you have?because if you don't want to do anything different you will continue as you are. So think, what alternatives do you have?because if you don't want to do anything different you will continue as you are. So think, what alternatives do you have?
If you're still blocked, take your time and answer these questions:
- Is what I want really impossible, or is it what I believe? If you didn't believe it was impossible, what would you do? What exactly do I like, motivate or inspire about what I want to achieve? How would my life change if I already had it?
These questions are fundamental, first because perhaps you realize that your beliefs are what stops you and that if you weren't afraid you would have what you want. Second, because it is important to be aware of what exactly attracts you to something in particular and thus be able to apply it to other situations, jobs or scenarios. For example, maybe your dream is to be a nurse because you like to help others and you love the hospital environment and seeing it that way, maybe you can have those two factors together in other ways, such as volunteering in a hospital, for example.
The third question is also fundamental, how would your life change if you got what you want? This way you will know what you expect to happen and then apply the key question:
How can you achieve that same result with what you have now?
They are intense questions, the easy thing is to skim through them and then take refuge in the "I don't know", but if you want to get out of the situation you have to make an effort. One of the reasons that not everyone is satisfied and gets what they want is that they don't put in the effort to do the necessary work, be it thinking, trying, or taking risks. It is easier and more comfortable to continue as you are. If you want to achieve something and it is not easy for you to do it, it is time to consider other alternatives, even if it costs you, even if it scares you, even if it is different from what you do…
