Many times I am surprised when I talk to some of my clients, colleagues and even some of my friends and they say they are hyper convinced that "they don't know how to negotiate." I think this is not so, although I can perfectly understand that their problem is that they do not have a good method or until they are emotionally prepared: they get nervous, they do not know very well how to present their arguments, or how to refute an objection. Could this be happening to you today?
It is true, it is much easier to have a method to negotiate and it is essential to feel safe and capable to achieve good results. But the first thing you have to do is banish that "I don't know how to negotiate" belief. Think of it this way, anyone who has young children and has had to convince them to eat less candy (and instead prefer a fruit), put away their toys (because otherwise they will break) or leave their video games until after homework Without specifically resorting to his fatherly authority, he has learned this wonderful art of “give and take” and of seeking alternatives and options that favor the parties. And if you don't have children, you have surely gone through an adolescence where you had to "convince" your parents to let you go dancing,or going out with friends that is so special to you and that your parents were not very devoted to allowing you.
Sometimes in the simplest things you find the most important answers. In the intuition that has led you to negotiate with your children, with your parents, with your siblings or friends (even to choose a place to go to eat) hides your ability to be able to negotiate great deals. What you need is self-confidence and… practice.
So for you to start practicing, I leave you these 10 keys for you to analyze, assimilate and start putting them into practice.
10 keys that will help you in any negotiation:
- Never start a negotiation without knowing what you hope to get out of it (the goal is what will set you in the direction of the process).You need to know your limits before starting to negotiate (this will help you express your opinion more clearly and firmness, and to negotiate within what is acceptable to you) Think of all the players involved, not just those you are watching (especially in a corporate or business negotiation, sometimes the one in front of you is not the last one interested and there are other parties whose positions you should not ignore) Try to find out what the other parties really care about (sometimes it's not exactly the most obvious and that's where interesting alternatives can emerge). Being assertive in communication is a fundamental key (that means knowing how to say no when appropriate,also clearly explain the limits and express yourself when appropriate, without blame or fear and with respect, even on the most critical issues). Leaving emotions out is always good advice (especially when the negotiation is on very personal issues or with people with whom that you are emotionally committed). Try not to make excuses that are doubtful, it is better to be sincere, frank and open and say NO with the real reason (even if it costs) than to invent justifications that are not sustained over time or that sound like excuses (as is usually the “I don't have enough budget.”) If you enter into a negotiation, you have to know that at some point you will have to give in and this often requires emotional preparation (that's why it's good for you to know what your limits are so you don't cross them, but they can yield when appropriate).Never think of a negotiation as a zero-sum game (the one in which the more you achieve, the less the other achieves), but rather a WIN-WIN game which means that both of you can get out of the negotiation better than you can. Think creatively about new alternatives (don't just stick with the obvious ones, because you'll need all your creativity to play win-win).
The most important thing is that you remember that negotiating is a game, where all parties can win, and that is where you will best be able to achieve your expected results. You must enjoy it because it is part of life (and especially your business) and as in everything, sometimes you win and sometimes not so much. But especially, like all games, the more you practice, the better you do at the end of the day.
