Many of my readers and some of my clients have asked me how they can be good bosses or supervisors without looking like an ogre. It is an interesting question, first because of the idea that we have that if you are a boss you have to be a tyrant, something that of course makes you very uncomfortable and that you want to avoid at all costs; with which you tend to the other extreme, be soft and try to be friends with your employees, with not very good results.
In my professional career I have had several supervisors, each with their own characteristics and some very good. This is what made them good bosses in my experience:
-They did not confuse authority with authoritarianism. They were firm, demanding, they told you what to do and for when, but without orders or disqualifications of any kind. On the contrary, kindly and with a smile on your face. That does not mean that they did not have their bad days, like everyone else, or that they did not get angry from time to time; but ALWAYS with respect and without fail.
-They were very motivating, always encouraging you, believing in you, giving you that vote of confidence, that "you can" that makes you go very far. I clearly remember the first time I had to load an agarose gel (excuse me the scientific jargon) with important samples, I was shaking in such a way that I thought it would destroy the entire gel and I didn't want to spoil the experiment for the person supervising me. Anyone would have said "Bring me, I'll do it", but he said "Why are you going to spoil it? You are going to do it very well, don't worry ”and he let me continue (in case you are curious, I did it well; not very well, but do not spoil anything;) That gave me such confidence that I lost my fear of all kinds of gels (including those of polyacrylamide) and also, the times that I have had to teach a novice student how to do it I have tried to follow their example.
-They wanted the best for me. The one I consider to have been the best scientific supervisor told me "what I want is for you to get where I am or further away, and I will help you in any way I can." Imagine the support you feel, there is no absurd competition, there is no command here and you are not going to get so high in your life because you are a useless wretch.
-They knew how to listen. They were not obsessed with their way of seeing things or closed to learn. They listened attentively to ideas and suggestions and made constructive criticism if necessary or applauded the initiative.
-They gave me freedom. Personally, there is nothing that overwhelms me more than having someone on top of me continuously, so I appreciated very much that they gave me freedom and left me a little to myself. Being able to do things when and how I want as long as I do it. Of course that has its disadvantages, you are so involved in your project that you work weekends and everything that is necessary.
If you are in a situation with people in your care, perhaps my experience can help you to know how to treat your team. But one thing is clear, it is not easy and they will always criticize you. If they already criticize you without having people in your charge, imagine when you ascend. It is the law of life and you have to accept it. In my opinion, what matters is that at the end of the day or your career you feel that you have done the best you can, that you have been honest, respectful, kind and that you have helped them in everything you have been able to. Then comes the issue of different personalities, the relationships between them and how to motivate them to do a good job. Each person is a world and has different motivators (money, status, responsibility), but that is another matter…
