Confront or persuade all three
I was with my wife on vacation in a country club in Chosica and we decided to ride some horses. It was a great afternoon, it had garnered the day before and the road was quite grassy.
We galloped a bit but my wife was not having her "best day". I had a feeling that it was better to help her, or I would risk her anger later. So I waited for her and we had more or less the following dialogue:
Luis… what am I doing wrong? I can't turn! At that time I had not yet read John Gray's book, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," and I thought it was a simple question that required a direct answer.
_ I reduced your pressure on the reins -I answered- flex and stick your knees more to the animal, lift your tail more and shift the weight of your body on your leg when you turn and…
_ Oh my God! Forget this! Can't you do anything without criticizing me? As if you were never wrong!
_ ……………..
A few meters below, I see that my wife is talking to a stranger and asks the same question…
_ Well, "answered the perfect stranger," I think that if you reduce the pressure on the reins, flex and stick your knees more to the animal, lift your tail more and shift the weight of your body on its leg when you turn, focusing more on its movements and not in the animal, I'm sure it would do much better.
She thanked him and very happily continued her march… I did not know whether to throw myself off the horse, or bury myself in the ground!
How many of the men reading this article have had a similar experience? And the women? Every time they try to help their husbands (or their boyfriends) while driving, or worse, when they use a tool, the only thing they get is a reaction… Why?
Because the message is filtered through the listener's perceptions of the messenger. Most husbands like to see themselves as equals to their partners. This makes it very difficult for the ego of one to accept the advice of the other, because both are supposed to know the same thing.
This "receiver bias" is generally reserved for certain areas where we think we know more than our partners. I couldn't tell my wife which style of decor is best for our home, more than she could correct me in appliance repair.
I am very receptive to your ideas in certain areas; while others enter through one ear and exit through the other, and I feel I need to verify them with a "higher authority."
But… why am I telling you all this? Because this happens also in companies, all the time. We accept the advice of those who, for us, have a "credibility" that exceeds (or equals) ours and generally ignore the suggestions of the people we perceive are not within our "intellectual level."
This is a big mistake! Guess where I find most of the ideas to improve my business? Yes, that's right, those who work on the front lines of the company, up front, in customer service.
Management has heard many of these ideas before, but did not hear because they came from lower-ranking employees in the hierarchy… Now, if they come from a "high-fee" expert, the same concepts are suddenly excellent. It is evident that this lack of trust in some messengers hurts the organization… and demoralizes people!
Beyond the credibility that each person inspires with their position, knowledge or reputation, there is a "talent" in persuading about an idea, which takes time to learn, but which we can all develop. It is exactly about this that this article is about. So let's talk about the three most common persuasion channels in a work environment that affect how you communicate at work.
Subordinates
This is the easiest persuasion channel. Subordinates expect you to have the answers, and if not, most will listen to you because you can, directly or indirectly, influence their working conditions.
The methods you use to speak to your subordinates can vary. Your task is to treat your subordinates with respect so that they hear the message you are sending. If you are aggressive, the listener will probably turn off your receiver and react (often intentionally) preventing progress, under the pretext of not understanding what you meant.
To move to the next level of action, you must emphasize the importance of your message and show commitment on your part to the idea. Subordinates may have seen, for years in their company, stacks of resolutions and projects that were abandoned after a time. Everything indicates that they will try to wait, until their initiative has a slow death. Repetition is the mother of all abilities; if you want action, you must hammer the message very often.
Pairs
Here, things get a little more difficult… As in the marital situation I described earlier, the "peers" will let their egos get in the way of hearing advice and ideas. If you are the expert of your company in a specific discipline, you will have no problem offering your ideas in that area. However, we know that many of the best ideas come from "informal organization," where the hardest part is making these kinds of ideas heard. When dealing with equals, and trying to persuade them of your point of view, here are a couple of phrases that might help you: "I don't know much about this, but it might make sense if…"; "How do you think it might work, if we did.. »; "You are the expert, but what do you think of…"
Do you get the idea? Pet the listener, show them your humility and include them in the idea, asking for their opinion of it. Thus, he will be able to add something to it, perfect it, be part of the solution. Better yet, he will support your concept and that is what you really wanted. Notice how, like a good salesperson, you are offering your ideas in the form of questions. Not simply dictating them as a statement. By involving your listeners, you will get them to buy from you!
A special case in the peer-persuasion channel might be called the "Perceived As Equal." A very common example is when a promotion places a person in charge of their previous peers. If you are the new "People's Commissar", don't pull out your gun too fast… You will get much more support if you treat the rest with the methods explained in the preceding paragraphs.
Superiors
This is the most difficult channel. If you are not careful when looking to influence your boss, you will find deaf ears for your ideas and soon you will be very frustrated. Just like in front of your peers, you will need to show the appropriate humility to speak to your superiors. State your ideas in a way that makes the boss look good in the eyes of everyone, your supervisor, and your supervisees.
Whatever your hierarchy in the company, most supervisors have responsibilities for the budget and employee performance, so keep this in mind in your speech: “I have an idea that could cut our departmental expenses by ten percent.
What do you think if… »; "How would you feel if we could improve team production in less time by doing…?" Any superior would have to be obtuse not to listen attentively to someone approaching in that way.
The biggest improvement ideas in the world are useless, if they are left in your company's "suggestion box". In order for your ideas to prosper, you must persuade about the value of them. But pay attention! Your goal should be to communicate and persuade as effectively as possible at all levels of your organization, using the three channels of persuasion and focusing on each type of listener. Your ideas can then have the impact they deserve, you can improve your position and recognition…. And someday maybe I can help my wife improve her ride and she can help me not get lost on the road.
… see you soon my dear friends
