One of the first fears of many freelancers who start promoting their business on the internet (including the fear of many of my clients when they started) is receiving negative comments. Of course, when you have a "face to face" business if someone makes a negative comment or you are ashamed of a situation, you have a bad time and that's it. Probably nobody knows.
This does not happen when you use this powerful tool that is the internet, and it is because most of the channels that you will take advantage of are open to the public. And it's okay that it is. But let me tell you that I understand you, you are afraid that comments will come out that embarrass you or make you feel bad. Maybe you think that you will not know how to handle them or what to answer, and that you will be exposed before the rest of your community. So, you decide, just in case, to do nothing.
This is not a good idea, you have to leave anonymity and expose yourself so that your potential clients know you. So I am going to tell you step by step how to solve this question of negative comments so that you are not afraid again and you are encouraged to expose yourself and show your ideas and share your knowledge. I anticipate that this article is a bit long, but I assure you that it has no waste and you will learn a lot with it. And if not, I will accept your criticism at the end of J.
5 steps to learn how to handle negative comments (and your anxiety towards them)
Step # 1 - Separating chaff from wheat: inappropriate comments
It is one thing to receive a negative, critical comment or a vision contrary to yours, and quite another is coarse comment, vulgar and inappropriate language, insults and the like. It never happened to you? Me. And of course, it's not good. But nothing to do, this is the internet and there are people for everything, or very boring or very destructive.
Here yes, no understanding, empathy and tolerance. This is my limit and I suggest that it be yours too. If this is the case, the comment is deleted, it will not be published. If it was through a social network, I report it as such (there are ways to report on social networks to your administrators that it is inappropriate content).
But most importantly, don't feel bad, it happens to many of us and it's part of the game. Also, if other people see that this has happened to you, it is very likely that they understand you and put yourself in your place, and not the other way around.
Two tips about it: first, if you have a blog, you can turn on comment moderation. This ensures that if there are inappropriate comments, you see them before your community and decide what to do. In social networks you will not be able to do the same but then keep an eye on which people make what kind of comments (usually you get a notification to your email when someone comments on a publication of you on any social network) and blocks people who behave improperly.
Step # 2 - What to do with SPAM
Another type of comment that is quite annoying is the typical SPAM. Maybe you do not know, but if you have a blog (or post on any social network, it is worth the same) and someone leaves you a comment without a contribution and only leaving a link to your website or a product that sells or gives away, that it's called SPAM (in addition to being quite rude).
The truth does not matter if what you offer is good or not, or if it is free or not. He's using your post for his own promotion, and that's wrong.
What do I do here? I am honest and I mention it. Respectfully, of course, because it could happen that this person learned poorly or was not aware of this and did not know it was SPAM. So I usually write a phrase like this (in fact I wrote it recently in an article where two people spammed me): “come on guys this is SPAM. It is not worth simply putting a link in any article. To leave a contribution or to abstain from this type of practices so frowned upon in the online world. A greeting".
And do you know what happened? One of these people thanked me for the comment and promised me that next time I would leave a contribution. And I am sure it will be a good contribution. Remember that if you treat others with honesty and respect, they will most likely return the same behavior.
Step # 3 - What to do with constructive criticism or a different vision
This is very common and far from being a negative comment, it is something totally positive. Maybe you already sense it, but just in case I'm going to say it. I am not the owner of absolute truth and I can be wrong, plus there is always room for improvement.
Beyond this funny comment (and no less true) you have to start seeing these types of comments as an opportunity to see things differently. Maybe it's a review that helps you improve, welcome. Maybe they will make a mistake for you, and well, to apologize and move on (whoever does it is wrong).
The most interesting in this case, at least in my opinion, are the opposite views. It has happened to me sometimes (especially in groups on Linkedin) where a person tells me that they do not agree with what I wrote, that it is not like that in their country, or that what they see in their market is different. And it is perfect that it is so!
That person is exposing his vision, his reality and his opinion. As long as it's with respect (on both sides, I also have to behave respectfully), why shouldn't that be good news? After all, someone read the article and took time to think, reflect, and write what they disagree with.
Even if this does not change your view of things, welcome this type of comments that always generate a good, respectful and constructive debate, which is ultimately getting other people (who may remain silent) are also thinking and reflecting on the subject.
Step # 4 - What to do with a non-constructive criticism (one that leads to nothing)
A non-constructive criticism is one that does not carry some kind of message beyond "I'm complaining." There is nothing you can do about it and then it seems that whatever you try to do makes no sense.
Again, it doesn't just happen to you. A few weeks ago I received a private message on my fan page (promotional page of my business on Facebook) from a lady who did not like what I wrote on my website, who did not agree with certain strategies and who did not think it was good for nothing.
As you can see, there is not much I can do. I choose the strategies that I consider best for my business, I choose how I communicate with my readers and my community, and it was not that I was receiving much specificity that made me think… “maybe I was wrong in this or that paragraph”.
What to do then? I simply thanked the person who wrote this comment for their honesty, I mentioned that I respected her vision but that I had a different opinion based on my own experience, that of my colleagues and clients. When the message is not generalized but the opinion of a person, I take it that way, as a personal opinion that I can share or not. If the message is more generalized (for example if many people wrote me "Gabriela, I don't understand anything you write") then it would be very foolish of me not to listen to it because at some point I would be ignoring constructive criticism.
Step # 5 - What to do with valid customer or other complaints or dislikes
This is easy, right? We delete them, so that nobody sees them. ERROR!!! Why delete them? Does anyone think that we are perfect, immaculate, that we are never wrong and that we are something like semi-gods? No no and no.
If you receive a complaint or displeasure from a person who is working with you, or has worked with you and it is not any of the comments mentioned above, please do so. First, because you will learn from the mistake, if it is about it. Second, because you have the opportunity to give this person an answer (start by thanking him for the honesty and respect with which he presents you with the situation) and try to resolve his situation, or to make him understand the reason for it. And finally, because you leave an excellent example for others: "This person does not run away from problems, he faces them with respect, honesty and diligence."
Yes, it is true that it would be more appropriate for a person who has something like this to claim you to do it through a private channel. In fact, most people do so. But in case it happens to you, you already have your little strategy to implement. And then you don't get anxious about it either.
Bonus Track - What is the style of comments you will receive the most?
A full article (and lengthy, I know) talking about negative comments cannot end like this. I want to make room for the kind of comments I get mostly. And I'm talking about a vast majority like 99.99999 (and many 9 more)% of the time. And I am not an exception. It also happens to my clients and colleagues, and it will happen to you as soon as you are encouraged to receive them.
These comments have to receive the same energy and attention that negative comments receive. So start by taking the time to answer them all. It doesn't have to be immediate, but try to schedule a day that you can read and answer them.
It is a pleasure for me to read this type of comments and I assure you that the same will happen to you. On the one hand, it helps you to know that you are on the right path (with so many people telling you that what you wrote has helped them), on the other hand, it also helps you to know which topics are more interesting and which are less. And finally it's great to see that many people take an extra moment to make a contribution. That not only enriches your article or what you have written, but also the relationship with this person.
So, if one day you have one of those “why am I doing this?” Attacks, take a look at the latest comments you have received and you will see how your community returns a fantastic response.
