Empathy and prudence in the workplace

"Gray arguments are old and not prudent." Plato.

"Three quarters of the miseries and misunderstandings in the world would end if people put themselves in the shoes of their adversaries and understood their point of view" Mohandas K. Gandhi.

Empathy: Mental and affective identification of a subject with the mood of another. (Royal Spanish Academy).

The recommendation for a good service to our clients that in almost all the trainings they give us is: have an empathetic attitude, that is to say that we must keep empathy in mind, we must put ourselves in the place of the person we serve, but I think that they forget to mention that empathy, like charity and / or charity, has a limit, which I think should be prudence. Like all virtues, it is not proper only to older people, but to people with good judgment.

Prudence: caution, moderation, good sense, good judgment.

"Prudence is the virtue of acting fairly, appropriately and with caution…" (1).

It is necessary for good care to take into account the skills and temperament of the collaborators for their location, properly assessing their differences, for example between a rational and an emotional, placing them in positions according to their temperament. The rational thinks with his head, values logic, resolves conflicts taking into account what is right and what is right; and the emotional is subjective, thinks with the heart, values harmony and help, both are necessary in an institution.

For example, in a financial institution, the worker who is in charge of granting loans attends to a person who arrives desperately to manage a loan, which he explains to the worker, is to attend to an emergency medical operation of a relative. When reviewing this the requirements for granting a loan, you realize that you do not meet any of them; As recommended by the trainers, you must act emphatically, that is, put yourself in the client's place and grant him the loan.

We need to realize that empathy must be reciprocal, we must put ourselves in the client's place and make the client put ourselves in our place. In this way we will take into account the need you may have and the client will take into account the requirements for your care.

Stephen R. Covey, in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, tells us about the fifth habit: first try to understand and then be understood, he tells us that half of the fifth habit is to be understood, if we only consider such empathy As most of the trainers tell us, we stay in only the first half of this fifth habit: First try to understand, which would allow the current regulations to be set aside, so it is important to take into account the second half of the statement: and after being understood, which is the part in which they explain to us that our clients or users must also understand that in every institution there are rules that regulate the requirements that are necessary to carry out each process.For attention to be considered a win / win, both parts of this important habit must be present.

It also explains the philosophy that the Greeks used for good communication with one or more other people, three words presented sequentially: Ethos is the trust or credibility that others perceive of us, Pathos, comes from putting ourselves in the person's place or people with whom we speak or care, expressed in another way is the empathic alignment and the Logos that is the rational part of this treatment, this rational part is what must regulate our empathy, so as not to let ourselves be overwhelmed by it and be able to act with prudence, thus avoiding transgressing current regulations.

A lot of emphasis should be placed on training or advice for good or excellent care, as it is not necessary to access everything that clients ask us for, always keeping in mind the fifth habit of highly effective people (2).