Understanding the relationship between self-esteem and performance

An approach to understanding the relationship between self-esteem and our performance

"Our skills by themselves are not enough to guarantee the best performance, we have to believe in them to exploit them to the fullest…"

Introduction

Surely we will all agree in holding that love is the strongest driver in our interpersonal relationships. We are referring to love in all its pluralities and forms, that of parents to children, couples, friends, etc. For this reason, we often worry about obtaining it and taking care of it. Some even plot things like this "without love, life makes no sense."

But what about "first love"? Well, here we are not referring to that first great passion that has been able to approach our mind and heart. No, but the elemental: of love for oneself. It is summed up in one word: self-esteem.

But… what is self-esteem?

Self-esteem can be defined as the feeling of acceptance and appreciation of oneself, which is linked to the feeling of competence and personal worth. The concept that we have of ourselves is not something inherited, but learned from our surroundings, through the assessment that we make of our behavior and the assimilation and internalization of the opinion of others regarding us.

As we mentioned earlier, self-esteem has 2 components:

A feeling of personal capacity A feeling of personal worth

Self-esteem is the sum of confidence and self-respect. It reflects the implicit judgment that each one makes of her ability to face the challenges of life and her right to be happy. To have high self-esteem is to feel confidently fit for life, that is, capable and valuable. Having low self-esteem is feeling useless for life: wrong, not with respect to this or that matter, but wrong as a person. Having a middle ground for self-esteem is fluctuating between feeling fit and useless, right and wrong as a person, and manifesting these inconsistencies.

The ability to develop healthy confidence and self-respect is inherent in our nature, as the ability to think is the basic source of our fitness, and the fact that we are alive is the basic source of our right to strive to get happiness.

Developing self-esteem is developing the conviction that one is competent to live and deserves happiness, and therefore face life with greater confidence, benevolence and optimism, which helps us achieve our goals and experience fulfillment. Developing self-esteem is expanding our ability to be happy. The higher our self-esteem, the better prepared we will be to face adversities: the more flexible we are, the more we will resist the pressures that make us succumb to despair or defeat.

The higher our self-esteem, the more possibilities we will have to be creative in our work, which means that we will also have more possibilities of achieving success.

The higher our self-esteem, the more ambitious we will tend to be, not necessarily in our career or profession or in an economic sense, but in terms of what we hope to experience in life on the emotional, creative and spiritual plane.

The higher our self-esteem, the more possibilities we will have to establish enriching and non-destructive relationships, since the like is attracted to each other, health calls for health, and vitality and generosity of spirit are more appealing than the affective vacuum and the tendency to take advantage of others.

The higher our self-esteem, the more inclined we will be to treat others with respect, benevolence and good will, since we will not perceive it as a threat, and because respect for oneself is the basis of respect for others. The higher our self-esteem, the more joy we will experience just by being, waking up in the morning, living inside our bodies.

Self-esteem at any level is an intimate experience: it resides at the core of our being. It is what I think and feel about myself, not what others think or feel about me.

Most people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search. Positive self-esteem is best understood as a series of spiritual achievement, that is, as a victory in the evolution of consciousness. When we begin to think of it this way, we discover the need to believe that just by getting others to make a positive impression of us, we will enjoy positive consideration from ourselves.

The state of a person who is not at war with himself or with others is one of the most significant characteristics of healthy self-esteem.

The importance of healthy self-esteem lies in the fact that it is the foundation of our ability to respond actively and positively to opportunities that come our way at work, in love, and in fun. It is also the basis of that serenity of spirit that makes it possible to enjoy life.

So… why is it so necessary to develop positive self-esteem?

How we feel about ourselves virtually has a decisive impact on all aspects of our experience, from the way we function at work, love or sex, to how we act as parents and the possibilities we have of progress in life. Our responses to events depend on who and what we think we are. The dramas of our life are the reflections of the intimate vision that we have of ourselves. Therefore, self-esteem is the key to success or failure.

It is also the key to understanding ourselves and understanding others. Apart from biological problems, there is not a single psychological difficulty known - from anxiety and depression, fear of intimacy or success, alcohol or drug abuse, poor performance in the study or in the work, even mistreatment of women or rape of minors, sexual dysfunction or emotional immaturity, including suicide or violent crime - that is not attributable to poor esteem. Of all the judgments we undergo, none is as important as our own. Positive self-esteem is the fundamental requirement for a full life.

For some authors, the need to have self-esteem is that consciousness is the basic means of survival, that we use it to position ourselves as observer subjects of objective reality. That is, we become aware of the impulses of the environment to solve problems, to adapt, etc.

We share the plane of sensory-perceptual consciousness with animals and it is automatic, that is, as long as our senses are not deprived of their functions, we will be aware of the environment and the impulses it produces.

The conceptual plane of our consciousness (which differentiates us from animals), on the other hand, is not automatic, but we can choose to think or not. This means that we choose to become aware of reality, develop concepts and judgments, or we simply avoid it, deny reality.

This degree of consciousness (conceptual faculty) implies that we inevitably realize, become aware of ourselves. This, therefore, also involves making concepts and judgments about ourselves. Here the freedom we have to think or not plays an important role, since choosing to think (elaborate concepts and judgments) about oneself can be an unsatisfactory process.

We can choose to think (face reality with a sense of maturity) or evade it. Thinking about our human nature implies our main tool for survival and, if we deny it, we would be denying our ability to survive, our competence to live. Thinking also involves a rational process and, if we avoid thinking, we would be acting irrationally, denying reason. Through reason we order the data that reaches our mind through the senses and, if we avoid reasoning, we would be avoiding reality.

Uncertainty and freedom are the key elements that determine the need for self-esteem. Freedom, from the possibility we have to choose, to make decisions. Uncertainty, based on the lack of guarantee of success that exists in the decisions we make.

So, the need for self-esteem implies the need to know that the choices we make are in line with reality. Our sense of efficiency and security needs the conviction that our method of choosing and making decisions is the correct one. the quality of those decisions and judgments we make determines our self-esteem, especially in terms of ourselves (self-concept).

To summarize in a few words what has been expressed previously, we can affirm that the importance of self-esteem is that it impels us to act, to move forward and motivates us to pursue our objectives.

Self-esteem and its relationship with the concept of Man

To introduce ourselves into concepts that refer to situations or activities typical of man, such as self-esteem, it is necessary to define a priori what we understand by man, since it will be our conceptual base to analyze this topic.

Throughout history, different conceptions of man have been conceived, depending fundamentally on the current of thought dominant at that time, also taking into account that they are influenced by philosophical, religious conceptions and the scale of values that the person who possesses A definition.

Making a brief review of the different definitions of man that have marked a trend in the history of thought, we can begin by quoting the definition of man that Plantón held, who considered it as the union of body and soul, where the soul was constituted as the main part of the man, considering his body as his prison. Then Aristotle takes this concept and expands it to the "substantial unity of body and soul" which implied that this unity was indissoluble, one does not exist without the other since they are one. With the advent of Christianity and its main exponent, Saint Augustine, a spiritual dimension of transcendence towards God is added to the conception of man. With positivism we arrive at a more restricted concept, considering man as individual substance of rational matter,unique and unrepeatable, with a defined mission.

As we expressed previously, we cannot speak of a single and complete definition of man, since it will be influenced by our beliefs and the tendencies of thought that we consider valid, but we can conclude in an integral definition that contemplates the different facets that comprise it, then we define that man is a bio, psycho, social, moral and transcendent unit.

Disaggregating this definition, we refer to the material body through the word bio, In the psycho dimension, we refer to the faculty that differentiates the rest of the creatures from

what we can call mind or spirit. The social term refers to the inescapable need to live in relation to others in order to fulfill oneself as such. Because we are the only being with the ability to distinguish between good and evil, we must include the concept of morality within our definition. Finally, the existence of the human being is seen to be complete in its transcendence, which will be marked according to its belief, either through the legacy of his thought or work that remains for society or in gaining access to the contemplation of God once concluded. the stage of earthly life.

Now, we understand by self-esteem, the valuation that we make of ourselves, with respect to a pattern of man that we have incorporated, after which the need arises to clearly define the concept that will be valid for us of man. It is clear that this assessment if we analyze it in each of the dimensions that we have previously defined, we will see in each aspect its influence to generate a positive or negative orientation of self-esteem. Likewise, a complement arises that is made from one aspect with respect to another to achieve a certain balance, that is to say, a negation of one aspect and the development of other dimensions may arise to cover this "lack", so we conclude that although we analyze the same in disaggregated form, must be analyzed as a whole.

Today's society has given great importance to the physical appearance of the person in terms of their body image, through the definition of stereotypes. The result of the comparison of our body image with these stereotypes constitutes an element that directly affects the evaluation of each one, since the acceptance of the result of said comparison added to the rejection or social acceptance by our body image, influences the orientation towards a positive or negative self-esteem, arising problems that can lead to physical and psychological diseases such as anorexia and bulimia.

The repercussion of the development of the psycho aspect, in the sense of the development of the spirit or the mind regarding self-esteem, lies in the achievements or failures obtained in this dimension. These mark our assessment, since the high competitiveness indexes that are currently set, oblige us to achieve performance standards that, if not achieved, the person feels with a lower value than the rest.

The social aspect of the conception of man is in our opinion the one that generates the most influence on the definition of positive or negative self-esteem since the need to relate to other people also generates conditioning in his actions, and not only the social acceptance of acts, but also other aspects such as body image, intellectual knowledge and its place in the social strata. From the beginning of the learning of the rules of coexistence that is carried out within the family, then going through the training received through formal education and the development obtained in the productive activity, situations are lived in which they are permanently received external influences that condition our own assessment. For example,a child who is permanently looked down on by his parents will hardly generate a positive evaluation of himself in the future. At school, in the teaching-learning process, whether in the relationship with teachers and peers, or in the incorporation of knowledge and intellectual performance, acceptance or rejection of their peers will be generated, which will affect their self-esteem. And then in his success or failure at work and in the economy that would condition his location in the different social strata, he would mark his assessment of himself with respect to the patterns currently imposed by society, through consumerism and the valuation of material as an object of power.either in the relationship with teachers and peers as in the incorporation of knowledge and their intellectual performance, the acceptance or rejection of their peers will be generated that will affect their self-esteem. And then in his success or failure at work and in the economy that would condition his location in the different social strata, he would mark his assessment of himself with respect to the patterns currently imposed by society, through consumerism and the valuation of material as an object of power.either in the relationship with teachers and peers as in the incorporation of knowledge and their intellectual performance, the acceptance or rejection of their peers will be generated that will affect their self-esteem. And then in his success or failure at work and in the economy that would condition his location in the different social strata, he would mark his assessment of himself with respect to the patterns currently imposed by society, through consumerism and the valuation of material as an object of power.It will mark the valuation of itself with respect to the patterns currently imposed by society, through consumerism and the valuation of the material as an object of power.It will mark the valuation of itself with respect to the patterns currently imposed by society, through consumerism and the valuation of the material as an object of power.

Regarding transcendence, we can analyze its relationship with respect to self-esteem in the case of the religious conception of the path to God, which can generate negative reinforcement in regard to self-esteem as being considered a sinner, unworthy of obtaining their salvation or on the contrary, consider yourself valuable by recognizing yourself as a child of God. In the other view of transcendence, leaving or not leaving a legacy would mark a parameter for evaluation.

The levels of integration of behavior and its relationship with self-esteem

What are Behavioral Integration Levels?

Integration means the increasing and progressive development of elements that organize an increasingly complex and perfected structure, through successive stages. Different types of phenomena occur in the organism that will gradually form these levels of integration. Some of these phenomena are simpler and others more complex, those of greater complexity include the simplest.

They are called Levels of Integration due to the successive complexity that arises in each one of them with respect to the previous one. The Levels of Behavior Integration are:

Axiological Level: implies an ethical value Social Level: implies social conventions Psychological Level: implies the elements of the Psychic Apparatus (cognition, will, behavior, affectivity, etc.) Biological Level: implies aspects related to corporeality Physical - Chemical Level: implies the production of body secretions

Humanity has always pursued the answer to the question of knowing what is good and what is bad. Thus, value has been given to what is good. What is considered "good", therefore, will be valuable. That is why all of us are governed by values (for things that we consider good), so if in some way we deny our values, we betray in a certain way the rules by which we abide, we feel that we are betraying ourselves and thus our self-esteem can be seen undermined by making judgments.

If we observe the behavior of a person in a certain situation and analyze what happens at the different Levels of Integration, we can obtain information that tells us if that person has positive or negative self-esteem. In this way, we can see the relationship that exists between the different Levels of Integration and Self-esteem.

Let's look at the case of a person who has negative self-esteem… how is this evident, analyzing the Levels of Integration of behavior?

In an office an employee makes a mistake in his normal job and for this he is reprimanded by his superior. This person, before the reproach, begins to feel bad, reddening, beginning to sweat and, finally, paralyzing (biological and chemical levels). That is, he did not defend himself or ask for explanations of what had happened, regardless of whether or not he really deserved the scolding (psychological level).

Obviously, this person does not have a positive self-esteem. The situation dominated him and he could not consider the error as such, but rather as frustration.

When you have a negative self-esteem, the person does not feel able to do things well. In this case, the person feels that he is worthy of the scolding. This is why the person does not give herself the possibility of defending herself against what happened. For a person with negative self-esteem, to err is not human.

Let's see now what would happen in the same situation with a person with positive self-esteem. Let's analyze the Levels of Integration of behavior:

Before the scolding raised by the boss, the employee asks him to lower his voice, asks for an explanation of what the error has been and asks what measures to take to fix it (or psychological level). The person is serene, analyzes the situation and does not express bodily nerves or organic secretions such as sweat or tears (biological and chemical levels).

It is evident that the person has a positive self-esteem, since he feels sure that his mistakes can be corrected, he feels capable of solving and solving conflictive situations from which he learns, seeking to develop continuously as a person, as a professional, etc. never to make the same mistakes again. In this case, the person considers that erring is human and that it does not constitute frustration or undermine their self-esteem.

What are the distinctive functions of the human being that influence self-esteem?

The distinctive functions of the human being that influence self-esteem are:

Intelligence Willpower Affectivity

These three functions constantly interact, each influenced by the other. Let's see, then, each one of them separately and then we can analyze how the interaction is carried out and how they influence each other to affect self-esteem.

Intelligence

Human intelligence is the ability to form abstractions, concepts, judgments, and reasoning; to face new situations to adapt to a purpose known as such or to a certain social value, seeking and using the appropriate means.

The human cognitive sphere encompasses two knowledge:

Sensory knowledge: they are those provided by the acts of the senses, such as imaginations, pure sensations and perceptions. Intellectual knowledge: they are produced by a higher activity that is intelligence; they are the ones that bring us closer to the intimacies of things and make us understand their relationships.

Intelligence is not an isolated faculty, it is the cognitive function that allows adaptation to the environment and is closely related to sensorimotor skills and perceptions.

In an early stage of the individual's life (from 4 months to 2 years), intelligence is

manifests in the form of sensorimotor intelligence. The child knows the world around him through the manipulation of the objects that surround him.

In a second stage (from 2 to 7 years), it is presented as intuitive intelligence with greater complexity and balance in behavior, with the support of language.

By the age of 8 he achieves intellectual operation, establishes relationships that exist between objects.

Already in adolescence the individual can establish relationships between objects but separating the object from the concrete, that is, he reaches the level of abstract operations. Abstract intelligence through symbol systems concludes the process of adaptation to the environment. This is accomplished through conduct.

In this adaptation, the subject channels his needs and integrates himself into the world; but it is the intelligence that directs and concludes the process. Intelligence is the most advanced adaptive function.

By ensuring adaptation, intelligence:

Sort and structure the data. Solve the problems. Conclude a logical system.

Intelligence achieves adaptation through a double process of:

Assimilation: this represents the action of the subject on the object according to their knowledge schemes. Accommodation: represents the performance of the subject in one way or another according to the characteristics of the object. It imposes a way of acting on it.

The result of both processes arises the mutual adaptation between the subject and the object.

We know intelligently when, based on the stimuli received through the senses and once their perception has been concretized (sensory-perceptual knowledge), we develop concepts, make judgments and reason, which is known to others through language.

Can self-esteem influence intellectual performance, and vice versa?

Having defined and analyzed the human functions that affect self-esteem, we can affirm that self-esteem unquestionably influences intellectual performance and vice versa.

This statement is based on the aspects previously studied: intelligence is the ability that allows us to adapt to the environment, which allows us to resolve different situations. So, if the situations that we face day by day overcome us, we cannot resolve them, we would be facing an unsatisfactory performance of our intellectual capacity that would imply that we do not have the necessary aptitude to adapt properly to the environment, that is, we are not apt (in general terms) for life. The fact of recognizing ourselves as "not fit for life" implies having a negative self-esteem. If, on the contrary, our intellectual performance (the ability to adapt to the environment) is good, it would imply that we solve situations that present themselves to us and thus we would consider that we are increasingly fit for life. Consequently,our self-esteem would be positively affected.

If we analyze the reverse process, starting from a negative self-esteem generated by aspects related to - for example - our body, we observe that when social values are not in accordance with our physical and / or aesthetic condition, our self-concept of “not adapted” will generate a negative self-esteem. As we have seen before, non-adaptation is the same as saying "unfit", therefore if we consider ourselves unfit it will diminish the interest in improving our intellectual performance, leading to it being gradually diminished.

Will

All men have a will and we continually do acts of will. We all "want" to go to the office, to the movies, to read, etc.

Volitional activity is not representative as is the activity of the senses and intelligence, but it is appetitive like instinct but superior in nature.

We could define the will as a rational tendency (or appetite) towards a previously known object.

The will is a rational and non-sensitive tendency inasmuch as the desired object is a well-known as such. The processes of wanting are and are perceived as distinct from the affective and cognitive processes.

Next, we will describe the volitional process. The volitional act is simple: we experience what we want, that internal "want", indefinable but lived many times, that is expressed with the oral or written word. However, it is not just a word but a peculiar experience of our SELF.

The act of will considered in itself results in the following stages:

"What does that person want?" something, an object, that can be spiritual or material, that can consist of an action (write, count, etc.). before wanting we know what we want. The known object provokes in the subject a desire, a spontaneous act different from the same volition. There is no action yet. Deliberation: in front of the known and desired object, it deliberates whether it wants it or not. Decision: at this stage what is wanted is determined. We are already in the volitional act itself. This stage is what formally constitutes "wanting." Execution: it can be carried out by means of the organs of the body or the faculties of the soul. Execution is not always effective, sometimes it is only attempted; When this occurs it does not imply that the volitional act does not take place.

Can self-esteem influence a person's voluntary acts?

Of course yes. As we have previously stated, the importance of self-esteem is that it drives us to act, to move forward, and motivates us to pursue our goals.

Self-esteem is generally the factor that most influences when we should or should not do something. If we feel that we are incapable of accomplishing something, surely we will not. Not trusting in our own abilities is, without a doubt, the biggest obstacle that stands between us and happiness. That is why it is so important to develop a positive self-esteem, where we have a complete knowledge of our capacities and our limitations, in order to know for sure what it is that we can or cannot do. The will implies the freedom to choose to do or not to do something, so if we know what we are capable of doing and what we are not able to do, we will be able to make firmly based decisions, which will surely feed our self-esteem.

Affectivity

Affectivity is the tone of liking or disliking that accompanies all conscious psychic processes.

Any of our affective states are necessarily a state of liking or disliking, of liking or disliking, pleasure or displeasure.

The degrees vary in both states and there are also differences that we can call qualitative within the same state. The degree that we feel when we eat a dessert is not the same that we feel when we are with friends. From this results a division of higher and lower feelings.

The lower feelings are those related to organic phenomena. Instead, the superior feelings are those that are related to the acts of the understanding and the will.

The simple states of affectivity are the feelings, for this reason, the sentimental life is the affective life. These are enduring states and simply signal the tone of liking or disliking. The first thing we find in feelings is their subjective character, which is not found in feelings. These are intentional, directed at an object. The feeling, on the other hand, is not oriented towards an object but rather melts into the object, we always feel affected by something, but it tends to enclose itself in the subject, in the “I”. The sensation can be repeated as many times as you like; the feeling, no.

There are other more complex affective states that are characterized by their violence and exaltation and by certain concomitant organic disturbances that are emotions. The core of them is a feeling, with which they form constellations, images, memories and organic modifications. The emotion occurs due to a psychological shock (such as a surprise, for example). emotions are characterized by their brevity and violence; A common characteristic between feeling and emotion is the power they have to absorb the attention field, in emotions it is more pronounced because attention is focused on the object that caused the emotion. The organic phenomena that accompany the emotions concomitantly, are registered in the body and can affect the respiratory, digestive, crying, etc.

Emotions can be of physiological and spiritual origin. Those of a spiritual nature can be:

Intellectual: exciting emotions favor intellectual activity; he enjoys, joy, tone the body. Intellectual processes are carried out more safely. On the contrary, sadness inhibits discursive activity. Volitional: an emotion of joy facilitates the action of the will, they impel it. Instead, depressing emotions take away even the will to live.

When an individual habitually experiences emotions of the same type, his habit is called passion. It is a permanent and acquired disposition to experience a sentimental modality. It is an internal provision, not an act. It is acquired over the years, with repeated experience of feeling. Passion is opposed to the direction of reason. It indicates an orientation to the whole personality of man, it has a precise object, it diminishes the free activity of the subject (or can cancel it) and always acts as the pole of pleasure.

If affectivity is so important, what is the game between it and self-esteem?

Obviously, affectivity is one of the factors that most affects our behavior and, consequently, our self-esteem.

We can analyze the game that occurs between both factors in a person who experiences painful or unpleasant affective states. In this situation, a person hardly develops a positive self-esteem and, on the other hand, it is very likely that according to their personality structure, their behaviors approach those not socially accepted (such as crime). This is the case of a child raised in a hostile environment and with lack of affection on the part of her parents. Or the case of that person who throughout her life received only ill-treatment and in her adolescence was the target of the bad taste jokes of her companions.

On the other hand, play occurs differently when it is some factor that influences self-esteem and is in turn influences affectivity. This is the case of a person who, for example, feels ugly or fat or even not deserving of what he owns. Her negative esteem betrays her ability to see herself as she is and, therefore, causes her not to feel worthy of being loved.

This, in general, can be observed in couple situations in which if one does not consider himself worthy of being loved (because he does not "love himself") he does everything possible to boycott the relationship, trying in some way to self-punish himself for not be worthy of being loved.

The role of self-esteem in conflict situations

To understand where conflicts originate, we need to first understand what causes conflict: contradictory motivations.

Behavior originates because there are a series of motives that drive it; therefore, to study the motivation of the behavior is to study the reasons for the behavior. However, the behavior does not obey a single motive, but there are various motivations: on the one hand, individual motives (parents' preference), group motivations (their friends) and sociocultural motivations (social prestige) influence.

Another important aspect to keep in mind is that motivation can be conscious or unconscious. Thus, the subject may have knowledge of her motivations (conscious) or may not know the true motives (unconscious).

Now that we have a general understanding of what motivation is, we can understand where conflict comes from. Or better yet, we can say what a conflict is.

We define conflict as "the result of the coexistence of mutually contradictory motivations, which can be studied from the individual or group point of view."

We can identify three types of conflict, according to the nature of the "confrontation" of motivations:

Attraction - attraction: this conflict is generated by the opposition of two attractive motivations, with which the conflict would be given by not knowing which one to follow. Rejection - rejection: the subject is forced to choose between two options that he opposes or sees as unpleasant or unpleasant.Attraction - rejection: the two values fall on the same object. Of the three, this conflict is the most difficult to deal with. It is the case in which the subject wants something to happen but at the same time does not.

When the needs cannot be met, we are faced with frustration. Among the various obstacles that can hinder the achievement of our goal, we can distinguish two large groups: external or environmental, or internal or psychological. Although frustrations can be something everyday in our life, there are chronic frustrations that is when the subject gets used to feeling them, without conflicts appearing.

Frustration and conflict in general are often accompanied by distress, which is expressed as a disorganization of behavior that can range from depression to fear or panic. A well-structured personality tends to face frustrations without disorganizing her SELF. However, there are mechanisms that help control conflicts and reduce the anguish or insecurity that they cause, although they do not resolve them. These mechanisms can be both effective and ineffective. We say that they are effective when, although they do not resolve the conflict, they obtain gratifications that increase the Ego (such is the case of sublimation).

Instead, we say that a mechanism is inefficient when it fails to resolve the conflict but if it allows to alleviate the psychic tension (as is the case with reverie).

These mechanisms are called defensive behaviors or defense mechanisms, and among the most common we can mention:

Projection: consists in attributing to people or objects intentions or motivations that are characteristic of the subject but that he does not know. Introjection: the subject assimilates to his behavior characteristics of another. Regression: the subject returns to previous behaviors that were already overcome. Repression: consists in denying all or part of the conflict, removing it from consciousness. But that does not imply suppressing the conflict, but taking it to the unconscious, from where it continues to act. Rationalization: it is a form of negation of the conflict giving logical justifications that cover the real reasons. Somatization: the subject expresses the energy contained in the conflict through an organic symptom Sublimation: by not being able to resolve the conflict, the subject directs his energy in the search for a socially proven and productive end.the subject unloads the tension of the conflict in another person or object. Denial: consists in denying what is intolerable for the self; the subject does not accept that he has a conflict. Daydream: the subject escapes the conflict by letting himself be carried away by fantasy and dreams imagining successful future situations or, directly, the conflict resolved.

As we have already mentioned, the defense mechanisms do not solve the conflict but rather mitigate the effects or states of anguish that they provoke. In short, they are irrational mechanisms for dealing with anxiety.

These mechanisms exist because the SELF is too weak to integrate and synthesize all the demands made by IT and the SUPER SELF. If the ME cannot reduce distress by effective means, it needs to use defense mechanisms.

When conflicts persist beyond childhood and the EGO cannot develop because it is continually using much of its energy to utilize defense mechanisms, the subject enters a state of imbalance.

The necessary balance is not always given to resolve conflict situations, for the reasons mentioned in the previous paragraph. In addition, the subject in front of the anxiety looks for other means to dominate it, which generates behavioral disorders such as neurosis and psychosis. Neuroses are conflicts between the I, the SuperYO and the IT not resolved in childhood and can be obsessive when the SuperYO becomes tyrant because of its demands; or hysterical, when it is THE IT that demands it.

Psychoses, on the other hand, are the most serious disorders caused by a failure in the reality principle, that is, a failure in the formation of the Ego. Psychoses involve problems in perception.

So… what is the role of self-esteem in conflict situations?

With the above, we can analyze the role that self-esteem plays in the conflict situations that are presented to individuals.

We can determine that a person who has a positive self-esteem will be able to resolve the conflict more quickly and efficiently, since this person knows what their strengths and weaknesses are, so they can deliberate the situation and choose the most appropriate way to solve the problem.. In other words, use a rational mechanism.

A person who follows this path will not regret the choice even if it has not been as successful as expected. If this happens, the experience will be considered an error from which you can learn.

Possessing positive self-esteem implies a balance between the IT, the SUPERYO and the SELF, in which none of these structures pressure and disturb the person. In addition, a person with positive self-esteem is aware of what he feels and why he feels it, so he has a thorough knowledge of himself and knows what he wants. In other words, he has high emotional intelligence.

These are the reasons why a conflictive situation is less traumatic for a person with positive self-esteem, since they use the appropriate means to solve the conflict.

On the other hand, the person who has a negative self-esteem in the face of conflict becomes paralyzed, since they do not know what they feel or why they feel it. You cannot rationally deliberate the situation, as it is influenced by affective and social factors, which disturb the clarity of the situation. For these people a conflict disarms the structure that supports their life, which causes, beyond the sensations and feelings related to the situation of the conflict, other sensations and feelings that make the person aggravate the conflict, feeling that it is unable to solve it because he does not have the aptitude. She feels that her whole life is a conflict and tries to evade them, since they cause instability. She does not face them, she denies them and defensive behaviors come into play,.where the I tries to keep those conflicts and generate stability by lowering the level of anxiety. These defensive behaviors act as a protection for the person, and they occur when the EGO is weak and cannot respond to all the demands that IT and / or the Super EGO make of it.

Final thoughts

Throughout this work we have studied the importance of healthy self-esteem, the aspects that affect and compose it, and the relationships with our behavior.

We have been able to see the advantages of positive self-esteem and its relationship with rational behavior, necessary to face the problematic situations that affect us day by day. We have been able to understand that when the valuation that we make of ourselves is beneficial for our quality of life, it can be said that we have a positive self-esteem, while if it is harmful, we are faced with a self-esteem.

Thus, we have been able to understand that people with a healthy level of self-esteem are easily distinguishable from others. They are seen as self-confident individuals, with a good sense of self-confidence, who feel really good about who they are, all of which lead them to feel capable of taking on life's challenges and taking risks.

On the other hand, people with a poor level of self-esteem are intimidated by others, their pessimistic and negative attitudes towards themselves lead them to harbor feelings of little worth, their sense of self-identity is poor, as they have not been able to accept their shortcomings or correctly know their real possibilities. Her feelings of inferiority make her feel a lack of inner strength, as well as other feelings of hopelessness and fear, including self-contempt. This leads them to inaction, as they fear doing things and appearing inept when trying, and unfortunately end up being seen like this. It is a vicious circle.

The individual who loves himself is the opposite, his sense of self-identity is strong. He trusts in his own capacities, he is aware of his limitations and he knows how to level them: he establishes alliances that compensate for his weak points. For example, if at school, academy or university you are aware of your skill in verbal reasoning and in turn your lack of ability in geometry, you will ally yourself with another strong partner in that last area, from whom you can learn and with whom you can. share what you know. Don't feel ashamed in

admit deficiencies, that's why he is a decisive individual. His sense of self-confidence is aligned with reality, he is able to hold his own views even when they are unpopular.

The poor self-esteem, on the other hand, makes his own worth depend on what others think or say, so he always needs the approval of others, he constantly seeks to please everyone, he can never be himself. He does not have the essential conviction to take on the most challenging decisions and challenges, as he fears that each failure will "confirm" his sense of incompetence.

Whoever lacks this ability has his own "internal enemy", something like a voice that always says "You can't", thus missing the opportunities.

Notes

It refers to the ideas, beliefs, images of an individual about his traits and characteristics, obligations and abilities, limitations and capacities. Self-esteem is the evaluating component of self-concept.

Davini, Gellon de Salluzi, Rossi. "General Psychology", Ed. Kapelusz.

Bibliography

Davini, Gellon de Salluzi, Rossi. "General Psychology", Ed. Kapelusz, Bs. As. 1995Goleman, Daniel. "Emotional Intelligence", Ed. Vergara, Bs. As., 1999Sheeman, E. "How to improve your self-esteem". Ed. Océano, Madrid, 2000Bossellini, Leticia and Orsini, Alcira. "Psychology", A -Z Editora, Bs. As., 1995Di Segni de Obiols, Silvia. "Psychology - One and the Others", AZ Editora, Bs. As., 1995

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