Reading the section "Ensuring support from the family and social environment" of the book "Mobbing" How to survive psychological harassment at work "by Inaki Pinuel and Zabala, the following caught my attention:" No one who is accepted or loved in their family environment it can be entirely harassed. " However, sometimes the effect of occupational psychoterrorism extends to the home and family. Or worse to the partner, the children, the parents, the siblings and even the closest friends. While it is true that a harassed @ tires, exhausts, annoys with their comments, irony or repetitive topics, it also requires a lot of understanding, support and help. Many close people do not understand, do not know, do not want or want to know, what makes it worse what suffers, is overwhelmed, remains awake, despairs and torments a harassed @,daily victim of "mistreatment at work". Really, what hurts the most is the lack of “Solidarity and Humanity from your loved ones. Before the "Mobbing", perhaps the harassed @ had a stigma in his family nucleus of "Different", of "Egocentric", of "Problematic" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real, fanciful @, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???Really, what hurts the most is the lack of “Solidarity and Humanity from your loved ones. Before the "Mobbing", perhaps the harassed @ had a stigma in his family nucleus of "Different", of "Egocentric", of "Problematic" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real, fanciful @, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???Really, what hurts the most is the lack of “Solidarity and Humanity from your loved ones. Before the "Mobbing" perhaps the harassed @ had a stigma in his family nucleus of "Different", of "Egocentric", of "Problematic" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real, fanciful @, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???What hurts the most is the lack of “Solidarity and Humanity from your loved ones. Before the "Mobbing" perhaps the harassed @ had a stigma in his family nucleus of "Different", of "Egocentric", of "Problematic" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real, fanciful @, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???What hurts the most is the lack of “Solidarity and Humanity from your loved ones. Before the "Mobbing", perhaps the harassed @ had a stigma in his family nucleus of "Different", of "Egocentric", of "Problematic" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real, fanciful @, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???Before the "Mobbing", perhaps the harassed @ had a stigma in his family nucleus of "Different", of "Egocentric", of "Problematic" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real to them, fanciful, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???Before the "Mobbing", perhaps the harassed @ had a stigma in his family nucleus of "Different", of "Egocentric", of "Problematic" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real, fanciful @, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???of "Problematic @" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real to them, fanciful, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???of "Problematic @" and even of "Masochist". How ironic!!!! Don't you think? You are right!!! This is how your loved ones see you since they know you. They consider you insufferable, hypocritical because what you speak or write does not seem authentic or real to them, fanciful, insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???insecure and even irrational because you dream of a better world. If you say "God will do it." They tell you "You come with God." If you comment "That's unfair", they tell you CLEAR !!! You only suffer.. And if they see you insecure @ possibly after the beating, emotional violation and discredit of your honor, morality and dignity they tell you Y.. you are not going to recover from that ???
After all, you are not the only one or the only one who has done this or that to him. Do not be silly@. You are so irresponsible, face your reality. You will have done something to be treated like this. You are the only one responsible for what happens to you. Or they could tell you: Seek psychiatric or psychological help, the only thing you want is to be embarrassed. You are not going to achieve that anymore… it is your problem. Among many other worse, more painful expressions that make you isolate yourself, move away, distance yourself and not talk to anyone. Not even with your relatives. That aggravates and worsens your dramatic situation. Possibly you are left alone @, bitter @, heartbroken @ and very, very sad.According to Iñaki Pinuel Y Zabala (2001) When a family member suffers from “Mobbing” it is an opportune moment for the couple and your family members, if they really love you, to do the following with the victim of harassment:
1- reduce perfectionist demands on the harassed person (clothing, footwear, hygiene, housework, etc.).
2- Accompany her and encourage her to develop hobbies, hobbies, support visits and joy, among others.
3- Encourage her to perform tasks that do not require efforts with physical and emotional fatigue and that can give short-term results, with a view to reducing the helplessness and psychological paralysis produced by the bullying.
4- Encourage her and help her to practice some sport or moderate exercise.
5- Find recreational or leisure activities that seek rest or physical and mental relaxation.
6- Enjoy family outings with children and other members of the family.
7- Exchange the quality and depth of sexual exchanges with the
partner.
8- Respect their pain, their sadness and their lack of love with sincere samples of love.
9- Promote spiritual themes.
10- Avoid criticism even constructive.
11- Avoid evaluative judgment and claims of affection and affective expressions.
12- Above all: Just saying we love and understand you ”.
People who suffer, live and suffer from active or passive daily bullying often have a cognitive distortion generated by stress and as a consequence of the repeated attacks in the workplace they develop high degrees of hypervigilance, hyper-reactivity and a lot of hypersensitivity to comments or criticisms of others. Saying “We do it for your good, it doesn't help much. Make them see "Your life is a disaster." "You are not going to be Nobody, you are on the way to failure." "You are useless." Or simply, "You have no choice, you do not take flight, because of you." "Or something more terrible" God, your morals and dignity are your deepest levels of complexity, get rid of those prejudices and live without thinking so much about what God wants or does not want from you. On the contrary of loved ones it is recommended: Unconditional Acceptance, Empathy,Consistency and Congruence. Unconditional acceptance requires the partner to give up evaluating or making judgments about conduct or behavior. it means not criticizing, censuring and reproaching. avoid them you should, you should, or you have…
Empathy breaks with the emotional isolation experienced by the victim of workplace bullying. Which lives with the sensation, that nobody understands, nor can they take charge of their enormous inner suffering, their emptiness and their fears because it is incommunicable. This reduces depression, isolation and the immense internal loneliness that a harassed @ experiences.
Consistency requires a lot of love, affection, appreciation, and showing that I care about you. The others open channels of communication and openness to the changes that a harassed @ is going through. Often couples, or the person who suffers "Mobbing" says I feel as if I am a widower because something died with my other half. It is only in their perception, but if the other moves away, this terrible reality is realized. Consistency reduces emotional distress, affect loss and increases self-esteem. Reduces the effects of physical and mental or psychological deterioration. When this does not occur, the loss of self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence and worse desire to live and be part of the earthly world is greatly aggravated. And from one's own blood family.
In John Preston's Model of the Book "Overcoming emotional pain" How to achieve it, he mentions the following:
In the studies made by recognized researchers in and outside of PR that identify the risks of antisocial behaviors of Mobbing or Psychological harassment, these 10 sources of emotional stress have been found in the bullied. However, Preston (1998) concluded that time does not heal all wounds, but many can be cured, let's see why?
Interpersonal losses- friends, who supported you, loved you and accompanied you before Mobbing, move away from your work environment. This can only be overcome, sublimating the facts, or they weren't really your friends, or simply not losing the opportunity to accept that they were in your life with a purpose and by fulfilling it you no longer need them.
Existential losses - unsatisfied dreams, disappointments in the career, values of that place that are no longer real, love of the work you used to do, etc. They are overcome by substituting it and transforming it into something different. Only what will come is what you have the opportunity to change in the present. The past is gone and the future does not exist. You have the present and this will be transformed at the moment you decide in a new and better opportunity in life.
Big disappointments - Mobbing victims suffer infinite tons of this unfortunate reality. It was not that good, nor was it that important, nor was it as necessary, nor was it as significant as you thought: You can live without that, even if you never, ever do the same person again.
Illnesses or chronic pain- Mobbing causes many illnesses including depression, gastritis, phobia attacks, panic, labyrinthitis, migraines, fevers, nervous breakdowns and others. This pain of grief and disappointment at departure sometimes seems impossible to stop. Yes!!! Yes!!! It will pass and then, only then will the disease disappear. If you put your mind to it and want to… you can ACHIEVE it !!!
Discrimination - it is only overcome with the laws and regulations of personnel, labor and legal basis. Use them to your advantage.
Events that decrease Self-esteem- after Mobbing is the first thing that breaks. The good news is that it is rebuilt: no one destroys energy because it is neither created nor destroyed. The same happens with self-esteem. It is yours and it belongs to you. it hurt!!! yes!!! But it can be done with God and your willpower.
Great personal changes - the separation of coworkers, humiliation, humiliation and most of all the loss of a job is very, very painful. Although it leaves large and sometimes indelible marks and wounds, it is better than Terminal illness and death. Losing your job is an opportunity to do something different… You will find out… do it !!!
Exposure to serious danger- When we are inside the Mobbing tunnel many times we expose ourselves to serious dangers: debt, damaged credit, emotional insecurity, permanent emotional detachment, destructive ideas, drugs, addictions to people, codependencies, alcohol, substitute vices for relieve pain where the remedy is worse than the disease, for example: dysfunctional couples, opportunists, phonies, fraud, deception and even danger to health and life. This requires professional help, psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, and spiritual personnel in addition to God, The Creator, etc… LOOK FOR IT !!!
Harmful relationships - friends who recommend revenge, robbery, cheating, violence, attacks, violence etc. This will bring more pain, more misfortunes and more regrets, avoid it !!!!
Interpersonal conflicts- during mobbing crises you will be hypervigilant, hypersensitive, hyperparanoid… and it is not surprising that discussions, screams and fights: become aware and sympathize with peace and silence. it is the only way to find your inner source and connect with God.
Economic crisis- only after realizing that you have no money, will you react and look for it… either in another job or working for yourself @ from your creative source… use it is a new opportunity to grow and succeed.
Facing difficult tasks - every survivor of mobbing does not want to get up when feeling victim, it hurts the soul, the being. this will happen.. it is a process of metaphysical transformation. you won't believe it at first. then… you will realize that: "after the storm comes the calm." think that you do the impossible, leave the miracles to God ”. It works… I know it works and I know it because I am a survivor who believes in God in me and in my inner power. I fall, I get up, they hit me and I cry. but I think it will happen and I know that I am accompanied and united to a divine natural source and an army of beings that tell me: you can… you do it and you are doing it. believe in yourself. and nothing will change you from the chosen route. only you can achieve it yourself. find your route and fight to make your dreams come true. fly over the swamp. and walks with blood on her feet..that is to be brave, successful @ and successful @.
The family is part of an organization created by God to learn, accept, love and give without expecting anything in return. It may not be the best, nor does it meet your needs and your expectations, but they are there. just love them and let them go and let them go when they open wounds that you had healed. It won't hurt so much when you realize that they are not your being, they are not your self, they are not your spirit, they are not your thoughts, they are not your real obstacle. We decide that ourselves @ and we do it out of love for our person in body, mind and internal being. that is why separation is neither the solution nor the alternative. Focusing on my own healing and emotional healing gives me more satisfaction than looking for a why or a reason if they don't want me or want me. my love is enough and my father's makes me stronger. I learned that when I discovered that not even they,neither does anyone know, nor will they know what mobbing is until they suffer it and suffer raw. and I do not wish them that evil. That is why my greatest strength and power is in me as an agent of change and of my own personal value. so help me god.
