Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, since children are not born with an instruction manual. This means that most parents learn to be parents applying trial-and-error strategies, until they find the ones that work best for them. So it is important to do a review of these last two months, but it should not be crushed if it seems that we could have done better.
Below is a list of purposes for each father and mother to choose those whom they feel should pay more attention so that during 2011 they develop their parenting role more effectively:
1. Be more consistent
This means that you must set consistent limits, even for teens, even if you have to be willing to negotiate and give up some ground. When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, they act calmly and reasonably, rather than resorting to harsh measures to "teach them a lesson."
2. Avoid scolding, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate
Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than constantly pestering them. It is no coincidence that repeat parents frequently complain about their children's "deafness," as they simply turn a deaf ear and only pay attention to what they want.
3. Focus on appropriate children's behavior
If you are continually pointing out your children's misbehavior and find that they don't listen to you, try to ignore inappropriate behaviors as much as possible. Strive to develop the habit of “catching children behaving well”. Like adults, children respond better to favorable comments and are likely to end up behaving well, just to get our attention.
4. Encourage children persistently
It has been estimated that children hear approximately 17 negative comments at home for every show of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continued criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children's self-esteem. So strive to celebrate her accomplishments.
5. Spend more time with family
In today's society, where both parents work and children are busy with school and extracurricular activities, finding time for everyone to be able to be home together is becoming increasingly difficult. That is why it is important to dedicate at least half an hour a day to share experiences, but that is of quality, not in front of the television, nor while you are shopping at the supermarket.
6. Take a break every now and then and dedicate yourself or yourself
Taking some time for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury. To do this, you can reorganize household chores, request the help of your partner, family, or friends.
7. Spend some time with your partner
It does not matter if it is a romantic weekend or just meet for coffee together once a week, but yes, at that time try not to talk about children.
8. Stop blaming yourself for everything
Let's face it, parents can find plenty of reasons to feel guilty, either for leaving children in the care of others or for overcoming the latest pain the teenage daughter has been given. It is not that you become irresponsible, but that you accept that you are learning to be a father or mother with daily practice, and when you learn, you are wrong.
9. Control how long the television stays on at home
If it's always on, it's time for you to set a series of limits for its use. Ten hours a week is a reasonable guideline for children of any age. Also, try having a free TV night and let the kids make proposals to do other things.
10. Check your children's use of the computer
Computers are rapidly replacing television as an electronic babysitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than television, but children use them primarily for play, unless they are assisted and directed by parents. So from time to time ask your child about the latest educational program she has used or ask her to show you her progress with it.
11. Avoid becoming your child's lifeguard
Avoid doing things like paying library fines for him or sneaking around a household chore that your partner entrusted to him. This type of behavior does not help your child, but deprives her of the opportunity to develop her independence and personal autonomy.
12. Take a healthy perspective on your son or daughter's behavior
When they finish putting it together we tend to think that our children are the worst in the world. Regardless of what the behavior is like, if you are trying hard to control the situation, you will end up doing it. It's just a matter of time.
After reading this list of purposes, you have surely reflected on your educational skills as a parent. It is true that they are all desirable, but do not become obsessed with becoming a perfect father, instead, try to become a father or mother who learns while educating your children.
