Effective parents have a number of strategies to improve their children's behavior, be it to eliminate annoying behaviors or to cope with children of strong character. This article outlines the fundamental question any parent should ask themselves when children misbehave and offers sound principles to help them improve their children's behavior.
Most parents must deal at some point with the misbehavior or inappropriate habits of one or more of their children. Whether it is a child who continually complains as a baby, a school-age child who leaves clothes lying anywhere, or a teenager who uses excessively profane language.
Tackling these kinds of difficulties is challenging for many parents, who wonder if they should ignore their child's annoying behavior or try to redirect it in some way. A useful rule of thumb for deciding is to differentiate between behaviors that are dangerous to the child or pose a threat to the rights and comfort of others; and those who are not.
Something you may also ask yourself is whether this is reasonable behavior for the child's age. For example, it is perfectly reasonable to expect an eight-year-old to not disturb you while on the phone for twenty minutes, but it is not reasonable to expect the same from a child of just two.
It is also useful to take into account the socio-emotional and personal characteristics of each child, as well as the stability of the family environment, since it can be responsible or at least condition that unusual behavior is triggered in it, both at home and at school.
Whatever the reason why the child has altered his behavior in a negative way, here are four principles that will be very useful for parents who want to modify the disruptive behavior of their son or daughter.
Of course, it is essential that you apply them with patience and persistence.
Principle One: Change the automatic response you give. This is very important, because child behavior generally seeks you to pay more attention to it or to respond to its provocation. So just reflect on the way you usually respond to these situations and vary your way of acting.
Principle Two: Practice desirable behavior with your child. Rehearsing the desired behavior is critical to learning a new behavior. Remember, it is not enough to tell the boy or girl what you expect him to do, teach him to do it.
For example, if you have a 6-year-old who won't stop talking like a baby when he wants something, practice asking him for help using a normal tone.
Principle three: Minimize behavior you don't like. This means that when children continue their unwanted behavior despite your brilliant suggestions, ignore it, and don't insist on trying to modify it. Remember that changing a behavior is something that takes time, especially if it has occurred for a long time.
Principle Four: Praise appropriate behavior. When your children behave the way you want, show your sincere thanks. Normally we take good behavior for granted and pay no attention to it, however that is the behavior we should attend to the most. For example, we will have a whole party if our child complains and with a baby voice, uses a normal tone of voice to ask for something.
Like any process, these principles will only work if you commit and consistently put them into practice. Don't be afraid to adapt it to your personal circumstances. Remember, the important thing is that you act strategically and methodically.
After helping hundreds of parents cope with disruptive behavior, I can affirm that the father and mother who are committed to change their child's behavior and apply the strategies consistently achieve a 100% satisfactory result.
Effective parents have a number of strategies to improve their children's behavior, be it to eliminate annoying behaviors or to cope with children of strong character. This article outlines the fundamental question any parent should ask themselves when children misbehave and offers sound principles to help them improve their children's behavior.Most parents must deal at some point with the misbehavior or inappropriate habits of one or more of their children. Whether it is a child who continually complains as a baby, a school-age child who leaves clothes lying anywhere, or a teenager who uses excessively profane language.
Tackling these kinds of difficulties is challenging for many parents, who wonder if they should ignore their child's annoying behavior or try to redirect it in some way. A useful rule of thumb for deciding is to differentiate between behaviors that are dangerous to the child or pose a threat to the rights and comfort of others; and those who are not.
Something you may also ask yourself is whether this is reasonable behavior for the child's age. For example, it is perfectly reasonable to expect an eight-year-old to not disturb you while on the phone for twenty minutes, but it is not reasonable to expect the same from a child of just two.
It is also useful to take into account the socio-emotional and personal characteristics of each child, as well as the stability of the family environment, since it can be responsible or at least condition that unusual behavior is triggered in it, both at home and at school.
Whatever the reason why the child has altered her behavior in a negative way, here are four principles that will be very useful for parents who want to modify the disruptive behavior of their son or daughter. Of course, it is essential that you apply them with patience and persistence.
Principle One: Change the automatic response you give. This is very important, because child behavior generally seeks you to pay more attention to it or to respond to its provocation. So just reflect on the way you usually respond to these situations and vary your way of acting.
Principle Two: Practice desirable behavior with your child. Rehearsing the desired behavior is critical to learning a new behavior. Remember, it is not enough to tell the boy or girl what you expect him to do, teach him to do it.
For example, if you have a 6-year-old who won't stop talking like a baby when he wants something, practice asking him for help using a normal tone.
Principle three: Minimize behavior you don't like. This means that when children continue their unwanted behavior despite your brilliant suggestions, ignore it, and don't insist on trying to modify it. Remember that changing a behavior is something that takes time, especially if it has occurred for a long time.
Principle Four: Praise appropriate behavior. When your children behave the way you want, show your sincere thanks. Normally we take good behavior for granted and pay no attention to it, however that is the behavior we should attend to the most. For example, we will have a whole party if our child complains and with a baby voice, uses a normal tone of voice to ask for something.
Like any process, these principles will only work if you commit and consistently put them into practice. Don't be afraid to adapt it to your personal circumstances. Remember, the important thing is that you act strategically and methodically.
After helping hundreds of parents cope with disruptive behavior, I can affirm that the father and mother who are committed to change their child's behavior and apply the strategies consistently achieve a 100% satisfactory result.
