Has it ever happened to you that what others do irritates you? What other annoys you and creates frustrations because their words or actions are not in tune with what you would say or the way you would act?
Tolerance is understood and defined as: respecting the ideas, beliefs or practices of others, even when they are different or contrary to their own.
I have learned a lot about tolerance traveling in Asia.
In India, as it is always a whirlwind of people invading the streets and nooks and crannies, it is inevitable to collide with someone - or someone collide with you - while you walk, and yet, rarely does anyone turn to apologize, perhaps because whoever being overpowered does not see it as an offense.
In Thailand, people don't honk their horn when driving, they always give way to a motorcyclist or another car, and then they drive off without much fuss.
In Indonesia I have seen Christians, Muslims and Hindus living together and sharing peacefully.
They are very different countries and the way of "tolerating" varies between them, but all their manifestations have something in common: respect for other people, beliefs and ways of acting. And this is also extensible to respect for animals and private property.
Your own tolerance is put to the test, in India, for example, by certain habits like a hobby that are very unpleasant, which is that they all day clear their throat and spit at your side, sometimes it seems like they do it on purpose! But what happens is that for them it is purification of the body and they live it as something natural, normal and necessary to stay healthy!
And in Bali? there is no such thing as "Private Life". At any time your neighbor walks through the garden of your house without prior notice, no matter how you get, at any time. I had a good scare once when I got up at 7a.m. And I found him head-on when I opened the door! Then he smiles and leaves. His mother stops by to make offerings several times a day, or the gardener, or the neighbor who stares out from the paddy field. Of course, almost always with radiant smiles from ear to ear, the smiles of Bali… wonderful… Still, for me with my western mind, where we protect both one's privacy, being tolerant with this and accepting it is what most it has cost me!!
To be tolerant implies, in a certain way, detachment from preconceived notions that we may have regarding that what surrounds us is better, or more important than what surrounds or happens to other people.
And it is worth asking, why do we remain so firm in our ideas of what is right and what is not, what is right and what is not?
It seems that we are afraid to be tolerant… I have seen how many people think that it is like consenting, like saying that the other is right and we are not… It happened to me years ago, but it is not like that !! Really being tolerant we see the other, we respect him, it does not mean that we share his way of seeing, thinking or acting, not even that we have to like the person or that we have to spend time with him, but simply that we allow him to be, see, think, feel or act IN YOUR WAY, at your own pace, on this path of life, with Love, or at least with Respect, without Judgments.
Doing so, without feeling threatened, our identity is a greatness of spirit that I encourage you to practice more and more often.
What if we see another person suffer for a loss of whatever kind? Are we able to understand and be compassionate with their suffering even if we do not experience it in ourselves?
Being tolerant is a form of empathy, yes. It involves putting yourself in the shoes of others and knowing that, if we were who were in your place, we would be having a bad time.
You will agree with me that what is ideal for me may not be ideal for you and vice versa!
For the simple fact that all beings on this Earth seek their happiness - from the stray dog that searches for food in garbage cans, to ourselves in our search for self-fulfillment on a personal, family, professional or spiritual level - being tolerant is a way to help other people (loved, known or unknown) to achieve that happiness, as well as to help ourselves.
If I told you that the next time there is a situation where you have the opportunity to be more tolerant, you practice it and that will make you happier, what would you say? The truth is that intolerance triggers a domino effect of sensations - and possible negative acts - that, the first thing that reduces happiness, is ourselves. This is because, not being able to respect the belief system, way of communicating or interacting with other people, it is we who are obfuscated, who feel bad and who even get sick - it is scientifically proven.
The study "Control Anger for a Healthy Life", published by the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, United States, reveals that getting angry has both physical and psychological effects. “When you get angry, your body secretes stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) into the blood. These hormones can speed up heart rate and pressure, which can damage arteries and speed up the development of arteriosclerosis. Rabies can suppress your immune system making you more susceptible to disease, and can weaken your heart, which can lead to chest pain or even heart attack, ”the study indicates.
This is an invitation that the next time you have the option of being more or less tolerant, you choose to have better health and smile or, at least, not be angry.
A very good way to learn to tolerate is by traveling more, discovering and knowing realities different from those to which we are accustomed; understanding that our way of seeing things is not necessarily the "correct" one for everyone; chatting with other people and observing… but, always, with equanimity.
And why not, it can also help us to adopt a new language that mentally allows us to be more flexible in the face of any unfavorable situation that comes our way, just as they do in Asia. In India they would say "no problem"; in Thailand, "mae pen rai" and, in Indonesia, "nggak apa-apa".
If I have learned anything from these ancient cultures it is the power of these phrases that all manifest the same thing: "no problem".
And another star phrase in this part of the world that always makes me smile…
“Don't worry… It´s Ok… I am happy if you happy”
Don't worry… it's okay… I am happy if you are happy.
