The world is a great network of relationships, in which people influence each other. Not all, however, exert the same type of influence, because while some are content to express what they think, others use the best resource to motivate: lead by example. Keep reading.
People are essentially social beings, who require stable and positive ties to develop properly. It is normal in our way of being and acting, that we approach others to coordinate actions of common benefit and to be able to operate in communities (couple, family, company, university, etc.) learn appropriate ways of acting in society and influence each other interdependently.
Although this influence occurs throughout life, it can be noticed that some people seem to have a greater effect on others. Others get more attention or gain cooperation more easily. Others, on the other hand, are ignored, underestimated or rejected and have difficulty recruiting collaborators to support them in achieving their goals.
What is the essential factor in getting others to listen to us and follow our words with little or no resistance? It is evident that there are several factors, because people are inspired or stimulated by the charism, the benefits they get from their behavior, out of habit, sense of duty, intimidation or guilt. However, one of the most powerful resources available to any persuader is the Power of Example.
In the home context, it has been said that children do not listen to advice but rather follow examples. This means that more than listening, they observe and assume as legitimate and adequate to follow, the behaviors that their parents manifest and not those that are repetitive and tiresome in their verbal demands.
In companies, the situation is not very different: It is ridiculous that an unpunctual and conflictive boss tries to demand behaviors from his employees that he cannot show himself. A humorous anecdote tells that a new boss of the scolding type, demanded his employees to carry out their orders to the letter and to be respectful of the authority. And as if they would never forget it, he hung a huge picture on the wall of the office that had written in large letters: "Here I command." Employees labored in fear and discipline for a couple of weeks, but one afternoon the boss noticed signs of anarchy and disobedience. He thought he should talk to them, and just when he was planning to call a meeting to put "things in their place", his assistant said: "Boss,More than an hour ago, his wife called and said, "Please don't forget to return your painting." Since that day, I have never again earned the respect of employees. He was seen as a dominated dominator, whose example was far from his daily action.
Confucius, a Chinese sage, said more than 2,500 years ago: "Poor he whose words are better than his actions." That is, unify what you say and do. For Albert Einstein “setting an example is not the main way to influence others, but the only way. Morris West also spoke on this subject and said that "the example is the lesson that all men can read." And as a precaution about inconsistencies between words and action, Madame de Maintenon noted that "Nothing is as dangerous as good advice accompanied by a bad example."
Leading by example is not an easy challenge, because letting yourself be carried away by bad habits, the influences of the environment and multiple temptations is too easy. However, it is disappointing to see politicians, teachers, priests, doctors, therapists, athletes and other figures considered exemplary, destroy the brilliance of their preaching with behaviors that in many cases can be considered incongruous, immoral or questionable. And I am not referring here to circumstantial errors or eventual behaviors resulting from emotional weakness, but to frequent, Machiavellian plans and blatantly justified ways of proceeding. Anyone who wants to be respected and who seeks to influence others has a sharp demand to align do and say, and to respond to their social role.
So to find echo, support, credibility, it must be remembered that sometimes the noise of the facts does not allow the music of the words to be heard. The search for coherence can be a possibility, a route, a key to positive influence. Thanks for reading me.
