It is clear that all positions in a Company have their sweet sides and sour sides. And that is not the same according to the level of each one, the volume or intensity of them. Surely if you occupy a hierarchical position in an organization you will have already touched or at some point the obligation to tell a collaborator something negative will come.
The most typical examples of this are when you have to explain why the promotion was achieved by someone else and not him; the moment of a separation; the transfer to a different branch or the substantial modification of their position. All of these are situations capable of generating discomfort in leaders, and in fact there are not a few who renounce such a position precisely because they do not feel they have enough resources to face events of this nature.
My recommendation is that you pay attention to these suggestions, and apply them to improve your effectiveness as a Leader.
1. Plan the interview
It is naive to have a conversation like this and not be prepared. Just like the untrained boxer, who steps on the ring and already suffers the blows, the same could happen if you neglect this step. Planning means in practice looking for objective, concrete facts that endorse and empower your arguments.You always have to start on firm bases and not on perceptions or mere points of view. For example, it is not correct to say to someone: "The Company has decided to disengage you because it considers that you do not respect one of its values, teamwork" and finish the sentence there. If that happens, what is expected is a counteroffensive from the collaborator, who will feel hurt and with the fury of the one who touches on their self-esteem. The discussion about what teamwork is to you and the like will begin. From then on, there will only be a debate on which they will never agree. So, the appropriate thing to do is to approach the talk with: “The Company has been observing you for the last year and noticed several unfortunate events on your part. The first was in February, when you refused to answer an email because it was supposedly none of your business;the second in March, to your refusal to accompany Marta on the business trip and finally in October, due to running away, she barely gave the departure time, and your team needed you to stay ”.
2. Depersonalize the situation
Freud was the first to teach that if things happen to the patient (he falls in love, for example) with his analyst, it is not directly with him but rather refers to his own history, embodying his own phantasms (family, in general) in the professional. From there, he develops his concept of transference and one of his main quotes is: “It is not with me, but with the place I occupy”. In this case, exactly the same thing happens (or at least you have to try to go this way) in the sense of thinking that all the concatenating feelings and subsequent to the bad news are not directed directly towards you but respond to a logic different. To be understood, anger at not getting a promotion is caused by the person's narcissism and not by you and may manifest itself in: “My wife now sees me as a coward,for not having succeeded ”.
On the other hand, depersonalization is vital to remove affective commitment to the task. When feelings are too involved, the possibility of fight and upset is a certain risk.
3. Use the "sandwich" technique
If it really is a headache for you to get straight to the point, then I recommend you give this a try. The idea is to start with a pleasant comment, then the unpleasant news and finally, the closing with a positive question for the person. Example: “Since we met, I have learned many things from you. You taught me to be methodical and neat to organize myself and that actually accompanies me to this day. Unfortunately, I must tell you that the company will no longer need your position, which is why it has decided to relocate you to the service sector. I understand that with your abilities this will be an opportunity for you to demonstrate your abilities again ”. To keep in mind, is that positive comments must always be anchored in reality, be true,because otherwise they will be seen as an imposture and we will be heard as manipulative hypocrites.
4. Subtract drama from the situation
We know that reality has the look that one puts it. Just as the pessimist sees everything black around him and the positive person always rescues something good, here it also corresponds that you think that the situation itself should not be tragic. I remember a while ago when, for budgetary reasons, a client company had to disengage several people and that had generated some anguish in me. Within months, when I asked about them, more than one had improved their quality of life, either because they got a better job; because he freed himself from the pressures or because he was able, at last, to develop his own and often postponed venture, using the compensation money.
