Conflict is inevitable, it is an inherent part of interpersonal relationships, it represents a continuous adjustment of internal and external reality since everything is in motion, both individually and in groups, at the family or work level, all the spaces that we fill as people they flow and develop incessantly, forcing us to make adjustments from time to time and those adjustments are conflicts.
“Understanding what the other feels does not mean agreeing with him. But overriding empathy to assume a tough position can lead to polarized stances and dead ends. ”(IE. C. Goleman)
conflict-management-through-effective-communicationBy accepting and understanding that conflicts are always linked to us, the important thing is to establish a strategy to address them, how to handle them.
Our daily work activity is not exempt from conflictive situations, therefore it is necessary to develop skills to face them with a different approach, properly controlling negative emotions and resolving conflicts through appropriate strategies and tactics.
The conflict and its generalities
- What is conflict
- Antagonism, clash, struggle. Opposition of interests between two or more people. The solution can be sought by various means. (negotiation, violence, dialogue).
THE CONFLICT AS A SOCIAL PHENOMENON
- New approaches are based on the concept that conflict is inevitable, it is an integral part of the process of change. In fact, it is helpful if there is some degree of conflict. Conflict is a natural part of any communication relationship
Basic elements of the conflict
- The problems or causes that constitute the conflict The circumstances that precipitate the conflict The actions of the protagonists The consequences
Nature of the conflict
- The conflicts are:
- CYCLICAL: They occur in periods. DYNAMIC: They change.
- CLIMBING: Tendency to become more and more conflictive. DECREASE: Tendency to decrease.
SUBSTANTIVE AND EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS
- In a conflict situation the problems can be substantive or emotional or both.
- Substantive problems: (cognitive) It is about disagreements about, conceptions, practices, policies. Requires negotiation and problem solving Emotional problems: These are problems related to anger, mistrust, contempt, fear. It requires restructuring of perceptions, examination and treatment of feelings.
Types of conflicts
There are many types of conflict, and each has its roots at different levels of the organization's structure.
Personal conflict:
They occur when there is:
- Conflicting desires or values Competitive ways of satisfaction Frustration Role discrepancies
Interpersonal conflict:
They occur when there is:
- Individual differences Limited resources Role differentiation
Advantages and disadvantages of conflict
Advantage:
- Conflict is supposed to change Conflict releases energy and activity Conflict promotes interest Promotes internal group cohesion May lead to a reduction in tensions
Disadvantages:
- Extreme conflict can lead to instability. Conflict breaks the flow of actions modifies the organization. Extreme conflict reduces trust in reason and promotes organizational behavior.
How to identify conflicts
- Conflicts are a part of our daily life, they can take many forms, but you can learn to resolve and avoid them. The first step is to detect conflicts through the following keys:
Be visionary:
- Visualize actions that are going to cause or are causing some kind of conflict. Ask questions like: Who, what, when, where, how, why.
Provide feedback:
- The amount, accuracy and timeliness of information that you can provide to one individual will help to understand the other.
Get feedback:
- Take the time to find out what your coworkers think and feel.
Define expectations:
- In the course of work meetings determine priorities, goals, tasks, etc.
Review performance level:
- Communicate openly about how (or how not) you are working together.
Blockages in conflict resolution
- Ego, vanity Difficulties accepting another's position or point of view Low or high self-esteem Loss of perspective Rigidity or little inclination to change Difficulties submitting Expectations that everyone agrees with one
Errors to handle the conflict
- Being overly direct and reserved Searching for the culprit or assigning blame • Attacking the person, not the problem.
Causes of conflicts
- Individual differences and behaviors:
The individual differences between people of sex, age, attitudes, beliefs, etc. they influence the way they perceive situations and others.
Understanding more about human nature and people's behaviors will help to understand the causes of conflict.
- Goals and limited resources:
The goals and objectives are directly related to the expected results. Establishing them will lead to greater participation, creativity and commitment. However, to achieve the goals it is very possible that the organization has limited resources, which can also be a source of conflict.
- Differentiation of roles and working methods
The conflict arises when there is no agreement on the definition of interdependent roles; on the other hand, our way of doing things offers potential for conflicts. We must understand our own work styles and that of others to better handle conflict.
- Difficulty getting a message across
If the information is not accurate, if the message has not been understood, if the communication channel has not been well chosen, these are some of the ways in which communication can be a source of conflict.
Conflict management styles
When faced with conflict, there are five conflict management styles to choose from. All five are based on two dimensions of interests: The interest of the needs of others and the interest of the own needs. These interests result in three types of behavior
- Little interest in one's own needs and high interest in the needs of others, which generates passive behavior High interest in one's own needs and low interest in the needs of others, which generates aggressive behavior Moderate or high interest, both for own needs as well as those of others, which produces aggressive behavior.
1.- Evasive style: (avoid)
Try to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it. When conflict is avoided, it manifests a little assertive and uncooperative behavior.
2.- Complacent style: (give in)
Try to resolve the conflict by giving in to the other party. Who adopts this modality shows a little assertive but cooperative behavior.
3.- Tax style: (compete)
Try to resolve situations through aggressive behavior so that things are done the way you want. In this style the behavior is uncooperative and aggressive; anything is done to satisfy own needs and if necessary at the expense of others
4.- Negotiating style: (transact)
Try to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions. In this style there is moderation in terms of assertiveness and cooperation; Thus, through commitment, a situation of "I win in part and you too."
5.- Collaborative style: (negotiate)
Try to assertively resolve the conflict by giving a solution that satisfies both parties (Also called problem solving style). Collaboration is founded on open and honest communication.
- Decide if conflict is worth dealing with Conflict non-defensively Define the problem (Listen, examine the causes) Generate viable solutions Choose a mutually accepted solution Plan your implementation Plan your assessment
Checking for solutions
Strategies for managing conflict
- Avoidance: It is about avoiding conflict, repressing emotional reactions. Although it has value in some cases, it tends to leave a personal feeling of dissatisfaction. Dilation: They are used to "cool down" a situation. Procrastination is useful when postponement of the conflict is desirable. Confrontation: Involves confronting conflict issues or people. It can be subdivided into: Competence: It implies the desire to satisfy one's own needs regardless of the other person. The competitor uses persuasion or coercion for this. (Win - lose) Commitment: Reflects the desire to find a solution that will partially satisfy the needs of others. The person using this tactic hopes for a mutually acceptable outcome, but knows that he has to lose "something." (Lose - lose) Negotiation:Seeks to meet the needs of all people involved in a conflict. With this strategy everyone can win. The negotiator works so that everyone's needs can be recognized as important.
Given its emphasis on WIN - WIN, negotiation has the potential to generate the most positive consequences of all problem solving strategies.
Some recommendations
- Seek the win-win solution Put yourself in the other person's shoes Take your part in the conflict Talk about your feelings Set a common goal Persist in finding satisfactory solutions Give feedback Synthesize agreements.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND SOCIAL SKILLS
The main objective of any organization is the internal and external customer.
BASIC SKILLS:
- Be able to motivate yourself and tolerate frustration • Control impulses and delay their gratification. Regulate mood and mood disorders. Empathy Know your own feelings. Adequately interpret the feelings of others.
SOCIAL SKILLS
- Positively influence others Prevent and resolve conflicts Penetrate and respond appropriately to the feelings of others Willingness to understand others and disinterestedly address their concerns.
Social skills in customer service:
- Kindness, even when in a bad mood Service orientation Anticipate in recognizing and meeting user requirements Capture feelings, concerns and points of view of others Ability to negotiate and resolve conflicts Seek ways to exceed expectations Audience expectations Selflessly giving help Be persuasive Be good communicators Balanced combination of honesty and collaboration
SOCIAL SKILLS IN DAILY PRACTICE
- Ask open questions:
What ?, Where ?, How ?, When ?, Who ?, Why?
- Listen. Treat your interlocutor as a person. Do not neglect details, be attentive. Speak the same language as the other person, reduce inaccuracies. Avoid being reactive: Do not refute, do not criticize, do not judge.
- Connect with the other (empathy) Focus on the facts.
Use questions, separate facts from judgments
- Anticipate the needs of the person you are caring for.
Attitude for Handling Claims
To receive and handle them, you must take into consideration:
- They do not correspond to a personal attack. You cannot respond to the same level of aggressiveness that we receive. Never delay or postpone them. Offer a solution.
EMPATHY AND SOCIAL SKILLS
“Most of the people do not listen with the intention of understanding but of answering. They are speaking or preparing to speak. They filter everything through their own paradigms ”. Stephen coyey
EMPATHY IS:
- The ability to understand what other people want and need Possibility of visualizing the world from a different point of view from oneself The ability to understand other points of view in the same situation and to relate these perspectives to each other.
SKILL IN THIS SKILL INVOLVES:
- Understand the needs of internal and external clients See the reality from the point of view of others Realize what others feel without them even telling you Capture subtle forms of communication through which people they convey to us what they feel, want, or need Help others based on understanding their needs and feelings.
KEYS TO LISTENING EMPATHICALLY:
- Let the conversation go Make your interlocutor feel confident Demonstrate a positive willingness to listen Eliminate distractions Try to put yourself in the position of the interlocutor Be patient Control your temper Do not criticize or argue excessively Ask anything necessary.Not invasive.
