Have you ever felt less prepared than your coworkers ? As if you weren't up to the task or you weren't as smart as them?
Or maybe you think that what you have achieved so far is not so bad, that it does not have much merit, that anyone could do it better than you. You even wonder how they could give you the job. Have you ever felt like this? As if you were a failure, a fraud, and you don't deserve to be where you are?
If so, don't feel bad because you are not the only one. About 70% of people have felt this way at some point in their career, especially when starting a new job. And you thinking that it only happened to you, right?
Luckily, that feeling of not being prepared enough; that you need to read more, rehearse more, and of course avoid making mistakes at all costs (they would show how inept you are), it disappears as time passes and we gain more experience.
However, there are some cases where these feelings lead to what is known as the "imposter syndrome." This term, coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes (Psychother. Theor. Res. 15, 241–247; 1978), is defined as the inability to accept achievement and success. You think you don't deserve to be where you are, you doubt your abilities and ability, and you are extremely perfectionist.
This “syndrome” especially affects successful women, women who always obtain excellent results and who, nevertheless, believe that everything is due to external factors and unrelated to them (good luck), not their work or their intelligence. All this, in the long run, has a clear negative effect on their careers, since they avoid new opportunities and challenges and, with this, they themselves limit their achievements.
In these cases, recovery involves much more than just passing time and requires the help of professionals. But going back to most, there are certain things we can take into account to overcome that feeling of not being up to par:
Learn about the subject and recognize that you are not alone, so you avoid feeling isolated.
Talk about it with people you trust. Your partner, a good friend, a mentor or coach who supports you and helps you see things from another perspective. It always helps and is revealing to realize how other people perceive you (this is how I found out that (1) I like to take risks, and (2) not only am I not a failure to quit research but I am capable enough to smart to be a researcher and professional coach and have my own business). Tell me about you?
Do not reject or ignore compliments or congratulations. If someone gives you a positive comment, believe it!
Make a list of things that you are good at and everything you have accomplished to date and review it frequently.
Be aware of your thoughts. If you find yourself thinking you've been lucky to get that raise, a new client, or a published article, remember how hard you've worked for it.
Accept that you don't have to know all the answers, and that you have the same right as anyone else to make mistakes, ask for help, and have a bad day. Remember, the opposite of perfect is not imperfect, but real.
I hope this article helps you to realize that you are not a failure, nor a fraud and that you are not alone, far from it! What do you think?.
