Many people write to me asking what they can do to be more secure, that insecurity keeps them paralyzed and they feel defenseless. In fact, it's probably one of the biggest obstacles my readers have. Feeling insecure is completely normal and happens to all of us at one point or another in our lives (or many!) Especially when you do something that takes you out of the ordinary, for example when you start a new job or get promoted to a new job. a position of more responsibility, when you make a radical change, when you start offering your services, when you don't know something, etc.
In general, when they take you (or leave yourself) from what you are used to, it seems that an alarm goes off and insecurity appears to complicate things more. So far it's normal, it's not that you're a freak. The problem arises when your insecurity reaches pathological limits preventing you from having a normal life (in that case you need a good psychologist, not a coach, in my opinion) or when you use insecurity as an excuse not to take risks. As you can see, we manage to turn anything into an excuse, as long as we don't do something that scares us.
It is one thing to realize your insecurity and try to do something to move on despite it (as I said, you have to do with fear as well) and quite another to take refuge in "it's that I'm very insecure and I don't dare" to complain and do nothing. I don't know where I heard recently that the only way to dare to do something is to dare. So, right off the bat, it sounds obvious and superficial; but no, on the contrary, it is a great truth. What do people who dare to take risks do that you don't? Dare.
Think of a person who you consider confident and who has gotten what he wants. What do you think that person is like? Surely you think that she is not afraid, that she was already born with a lot of security and that, in addition, she is perfectly formed and trained to do what she does, right? In some cases it may be so, why not; but not at all or all times. In general, they are people like you, who are afraid, who have felt insecure but who have decided to do something about it or directly jump. The best way to eliminate insecurity is to do the things you want to do. It's that simple, not easy, of course.
What I always say, if it were easy everyone would be doing what they really want. They tell me many times: "Aida, I want to have coaching clients, but I don't know how to do it." Very well, have you dared to offer someone your services? "Aida, I want my work to be recognized more" Have you told anyone? "Aida, I want to have subscribers on my blog." Have you started writing something? In all cases the answer is no. What are you going to get if you don't dare to do anything?
I understand that it is not easy and that it is scary, but honestly, that's the way it is. Why some of us get what we want, because we dare to do it. Sometimes you get it and sometimes you don't, that's clear. But it is clearer that if you never dare you will never achieve anything.
What you can do is try to reduce insecurity. There are certain things that can help you cope better, for example:
- Have all the necessary information about what you want to do. Ignorance generates a lot of uncertainty and insecurity, so before blocking yourself, decide to find all the information you need about what you want to do. Usually that helps you be clearer about what to do next. Many times, being trained and learning about what you need increases your confidence. The other day a girl told me that she wanted to be a coach but she didn't know what to do or if she would be capable, or if it was what she really wanted. I suggested that he seek more information about coaching and, if necessary, train. So you will have everything you need to get started, no more doubts about whether you are capable or not, or what is done in one session. Of course, do not fall into the trap of infinite training, another type of self-sabotage to avoid starting up.Hire someone to accompany you in the process. Having a person who knows what you are going through and can accompany you is of course the most effective, so that we deceive ourselves. It makes you dare to do more things and commit to yourself, because you know that you will have to tell them in the next session. Listen to positive messages and surround yourself with people who believe in you. Why do you think you are so motivated by the talks and courses you go to? Because being surrounded by people who think like you, who don't question you, who you don't have to convince of anything gives you a lot of strength. So start looking for that kind of positive influence.It makes you dare to do more things and commit to yourself, because you know that you will have to tell them in the next session. Listen to positive messages and surround yourself with people who believe in you. Why do you think you are so motivated by the talks and courses you go to? Because being surrounded by people who think like you, who don't question you, who you don't have to convince of anything gives you a lot of strength. So start looking for that kind of positive influence.It makes you dare to do more things and commit to yourself, because you know that you will have to tell them in the next session. Listen to positive messages and surround yourself with people who believe in you. Why do you think you are so motivated by the talks and courses you go to? Because being surrounded by people who think like you, who don't question you, who you don't have to convince of anything gives you a lot of strength. So start looking for that kind of positive influence.So start looking for that kind of positive influence.So start looking for that kind of positive influence.
These are small details that help a lot and that keep you going despite the fear, which is what really hides behind insecurity, fear of something. What I want is that after reading this article you dare to do something, it does not matter if it turns out well or badly, whether it is something big or small, the question is to dare. So tell me, what are you going to dare?
