As some of you may know, I am preparing a workshop for the Improvement of Interpersonal Communication, and I would like us to turn our attention to this aspect today.
We are going to define the 5 types of Communication that Virginia Satir defines, and we may, hopefully, identify with any of them!
1. The Placer (he also calls him disabled, but it seems exaggerated to me)
- The placator is a communicator who does not usually express his opinion, especially when it can be contrary to others. The placator seeks the approval and love of others, trying to please, to apologize, to ingratiate himself, he seeks the approval of others as essential. You may have low self-esteem, feel that you are not worthy of others, even feel responsible for the mistakes of others, believe that you owe gratitude to others and show a pleading attitude.
2. The Culprit (aggressive)
- The accuser, always finds the errors of others, is a bit (or quite) dictatorial, is the one who commands, and does not care to lower others. And this is so, because internally, he also has low self-esteem and does not consider himself a big deal. When you have "subjects" or whom you dominate, you feel that you are taken into account. The position of the body is pointing with the finger.
3. The Superreasonable (is over politically correct)
Correct, logical and reasonable in excess. He is calm, rather cold, not very demonstrative in his emotions, more similar to a computer than to a person. According to Virginia Satir, the super-reasonable are guided by the rule: "Say the right words, don't show feelings, don't react."
4. The Irrelevant (hanging from his cloud)
When you speak or do something, it usually has nothing to do with what you were talking about or were expected to do. As if he were "off the hook" from the conversations, ignoring the questions, not following the thread of the conversations, as if he were not paying attention to what was being said. Virginia compares it to a Spinning Top that goes from here to there.
5. The Functional Communicator (fluent or natural)
Communication is HEALTHY, fluid, natural, functional, when the following conditions are met.
• clarity and precision in communication, making clarifications when asked or when the other person wishes to verify or does not seem to understand.
• Asks for clarification, verifies what was said to compare it with what was heard and thus determine if he understood well.
• shows congruence and coherence between what he expresses, what he says, and his body language.
• is able to show warmth, anger, showing a clear message, without turning, transmitting in a simple and direct way, coinciding in their verbal and non-verbal language.
• He is a brave communicator, with courage, he is not afraid to go to the confrontation, but that if he always respects the self-esteem of his interlocutor. Show openness and respect when speaking and listening.
• shows integration, fluency, openness towards the other, thus promoting the resolution of conflicts.
• improves relationships with others, by transmitting trust, sincerity and righteousness.
Every day we all have problems that we can (and should) solve through communication. If we consolidate the Functional Communicator model, we will gain much healthier, more sincere personal relationships, where both of us are comfortable and taken into account...
