Do you find yourself with scattered attention and not knowing how to reorder everything and start over? Not being able to focus is one of the problems that prevent you from having the results you want in your life, but it is not the only one. Maybe your problem is not not being able to focus, but not knowing what to focus on.
They are two different but related things. On the one hand, the ability to focus and move things forward, and on the other, knowing what you have to focus on. The junction point? When you don't know what you want, it is difficult to focus.
Surely you have heard many times that of "you get what you focus on", you get what you focus on, what you focus on. The more you focus on something, whatever it is, the more resources your mind uses to detect it (hence if you are pregnant you start to see pregnant women everywhere, for example), being able to dominate your thoughts and affect your behavior. The problem? When you choose to focus on something that doesn't benefit you.
If you focus on what limits you, you limit yourself. If you focus on not understanding something, you will leave less space to understand. If you focus on your shortcomings, on what you lack (be it talent, time, money, etc.), you will begin to find evidence that it is true and you will try less and less or throw in the towel. If you focus on your fears, you will see more and more evidence that they are real and you will not be able to see the opportunities. I'm wrong?
The good news is that this process works the same for positive things. You can choose to focus on something that benefits you, that opens doors for you instead of closing them. And since thoughts are linked to emotions and actions, if you change what you focus on, you will change your thoughts, emotions and actions and achieve different results. Therefore, knowing how to choose what you are going to focus your attention on is essential.
But of course, just as important as knowing how to choose well what you focus your time, energy and thoughts on is developing the ability to focus, not lose your way or disperse. Because just like not focusing on the right things doesn't give you results, neither does not knowing how to apply yourself to it, no matter how much you know what to focus on. That is the problem in many cases, your thoughts are scattered, when if you focused you would have excellent results.
So how can you regain concentration and focus on what benefits you the most, what will give you the best results? Lynn Marie Sager in her book "A river worth riding" recommends us to follow these steps:
1. Imagine the future you want. In many cases this is the problem, you need a clear vision of what you want to be able to focus and move towards that future. In order not to disperse, stagnate or waste time and energy doing things that don't take you where you want to go. As she says, "There is a connection between knowing what you want and getting what you want."
2. Identify what distracts you. What makes you lose your way? In order to eliminate the distractions that affect you so much, you have to identify them first. Negative news, gossip, complaining people, being worried, angry. When you feel like this, ask yourself what made you lose focus and mood and you know: avoid it!
One of the things that affects you the most is your circumstances: the news and negative people. That makes you focus on how bad things are and leave few resources to the possibilities. If you let these factors control what you think, you are letting them control how you react to your life, how you behave, and therefore, the results you have.
I'm not saying you don't have to be informed, but don't obsess, it takes a balance. If the information makes your life collapse, put the brakes on it. Also, in these cases, what we focus on causes us fear, so if you learn to control what you focus on, you will learn to control fear. Hence gratitude is so powerful, because you focus on what you have not in what you lack. According to Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychologist, there is something that never fails to cause long-term satisfaction, and you can apply it to start eliminating negativity and its effects from your life:
Every night before going to sleep, write on a piece of paper three things that went well that day. It can be something especially important (they called me from a job, I got a new client) or something not so relevant but that for you is significant (my husband gave me flowers, I had a good time with my friends, etc.). Now point out the most important thing, why they went well. Example: They called me from a job because I am good for that position, I had a good time with my friends because I have great friends and I take time for them, etc.
This daily exercise will get you started to value the positive things in your life and your role in them.
3. Develop the ability to focus. Being able to focus is a skill that you can develop with meditation or with certain disciplines that require concentration such as yoga, dancing, writing, playing sports, etc. Choose one and start.
The combination of these guidelines will help you improve your ability to focus and clearly define what to focus on and, you know, if you spend your time on what you want, you will start to get what you want (it seems obvious but it is not, think about it.)
What is your case? Is it difficult to focus or have you not chosen well what to do?
