Talking about change makes us anxious. We fragment. We usually say one thing and do another. The word is separated from the act.
With training, will (to train) and courage (to endure the shocks) it is possible to take advantage of the daily lessons we receive from all those who interact with us. All of us, absolutely all of us, become teachers and disciples. It's hard for us to declare ourselves apprentices. We tend to believe that we know them all.
Through learning we can review those beliefs that are not being effective in some of the aspects of our lives.
We need to face the "defensive routines" that are presented to us in situations that we feel threatening. Fear is triggered and learning becomes impossible. We close the door to the other or the others and we are left alone, with the feeling of being safe from those felt threats. It is true, we are safe, although without learning.
A word, a gesture, anything, triggers our defensive routines, forgetting our wishes and commitments. Forgetting, also, our declaimed feelings, often with exaggerated recurrence.
We talk, with some ease, of expanding our consciousness, of being attentive. Nothing is much when it comes to feeling the threat that is also submissive, obedient and relentless to make itself present and impact our body and our relationships. We usually end up killing the dog to end the rabies. I have killed and have been killed many times throughout my life.
We become attached to the suffering caused by reliving threatening situations not overcome. Pride wins us the arm wrestling and the "dog" pays for the broken dishes for our comfort. Learning, in addition to the above, is uncomfortable.
With great care, lovingly, we can go diving inside ourselves to recognize the situations that cause us our fright, our flight. We do not escape from others, we escape from ourselves. As we left, we may have stabbed someone else. Many times they are duels in which we all end up mortally wounded. We have become attached to romanticism and in one way or another we all end up embodying some of the characters from its classic literature.
From there we advance by appealing to the oblivion that time provides us and when we least think about it, those reactions recorded by fire, made flesh, are reiterated until finally one day, hopefully, we realize what until that moment we did not we realized. At that moment, we are learning and our ego accuses the wound. From there, there are possibilities that we do not flee and stay to dialogue (search for shared meaning) with others.
Incorporating information about this or that thing is good as a general idea, as a process of framing the context that contains a particular topic, as a starting point for an individual and vital exercise, thinking and thinking. Forgetting ourselves, the actors, is a Chicana that allows us to believe ourselves with the supposed certainty of knowing what we want and even who we are.
We explain in detail the positions adopted that justify reactions, which end up justifying, in turn, some other dead dog. Nor does it occur to us to think that this is a way to assuage our guilt. Even, we usually appeal to: "this never again" and to time, no matter if it is short or long, we hear ourselves say: "soup again." Here, it is great, although painful, to come to recognize that there is something in us for us to reiterate certain unwanted situations.
It is good, too, to be able to lower our defenses and surrender ourselves to the dance of listening to others, of telling them what is ours, and of building a shared and reliable accompaniment context. When we achieve it, it becomes a marvel, we feel special beings, with full meaning, we live the synergy, so named and so little lived. It becomes an experience of transcendence. We venture into uncertainty feeling that it is well worth doing. We feel like protagonists, we abandon the disguise of victims of circumstances or of others (partner, children, boss, president, neighbor, friend, etc.).
By dancing with others we allow ourselves to "play" without appealing to the supposed seriousness of life, much less to take the body out of the intensity of feelings. They do not kill us or kill us for living an intense love relationship. Loving does not kill or hurt. Death comes from lack of acceptance and surrender. If I have killed, it was because I did not accept the other. If they have killed me, there was someone who has not accepted me. We kill and are killed when emotions run wild. Realizing this is a detail that magically opens a space for personal reflection.
I have lived, and I live, moments of those in which you want to shout from the rooftops that it is beautiful to be alive. These are the moments in which I encourage myself to be without fear that the other will judge me or abandon me. I do not beg for acceptance or affection. I just am. Life is a process for me and I forget the end result. The goal achieved becomes a new beginning. I make my way when I walk…
I have also lived and still do, those many other moments in which nothing, absolutely nothing, makes sense. I seek to be accepted, loved, and I condition my actions to what I receive. Suddenly, I find myself looking for a dog or scapegoat. The only thing that matters to me is the end result and from there I find myself in the void, with nothing. Today I know that this means that I have moved away from the "neighborhood", from that neighborhood where my "home" is, my essence, my being.
Those moments of wandering outlying neighborhoods help me realize that there is something that I am not seeing, that I am missing something of what I am living.
The group (two or more) facilitates the learning process (to realize it). It becomes a great sensor that alerts us that something may not be working well in us. For this, we must commit ourselves to being willing to review what has been done even if this is presented as a tremendous threat. It is necessary for us to “stay together even if we do not fully agree”. It is at that moment that we have to stop the tendency to kill. As a good Scorpio I know a lot about this…
It is not always possible to find dance partners. Many times when we propose it, we become someone else's dog and we feel the dagger going deep. This is also learning. These wounds serve to rethink what we want and how we seek and choose our fellow adventurers. It is necessary to learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness for our actions. Carrying the fights fills our luggage with an unhealthy resentment. It blocks us the energy necessary to fuel the learning process.
If we have repeatedly appealed to kill and it has not brought us growth, why continue betting on death.
Without self-criticism we do not learn, we only play, all of us, victims and perpetrators. Thus, life becomes a succession of boring repetitions that cause us much suffering.
Thus, furthermore, let us be aware that we are not helping to build a better world.
