Are you about to jump into something new? Considering taking something that is a big risk to you? Perhaps you are considering leaving your job to do something that fulfills you more, finally daring to establish yourself on your own, or encouraging yourself to increase your family despite the circumstances… And although you really would like to, fear may more than desire.
If that is your situation, it is normal, that moment in which you are about to jump is scary and very stressful. I don't know where I read a perfect example for this case: that of a trapeze artist holding on to his trapeze who has to jump to another, and sees him come and go, come and go. He would love to hold on, but letting go is scary… And the most scary thing is that moment when you are in the air, between trapezoids, right? Until finally you take the other one and hold on tight again.
That image seems very successful to me. Although I have never experienced it firsthand (nor do I see myself doing it) I can feel the tension and fear. The good news is that, like an experienced aerialist, the more you practice the less scary you become. And I say less, because there will always be something. But every time you will feel less vulnerable because you will have more confidence in your abilities and in yourself. Also keep in mind that, unlike many aerialists, in your case there will almost always be a net underneath. So if you fall, you can get up and start over (and if there is no net, the consequences are rarely fatal, are they?) And that's how it works, you go from trapeze to trapeze more and more safely, even if you always have a tingling in the stomach as you launch for the next one.
Taking risks is something important, it helps you to know yourself better, to learn, to grow, to develop personally and professionally and to have more confidence in yourself. However, at the same time it is terrifying, the uncertainty, not being able to control what is going to happen. I wish you could have everything under control and take the step safely, right? The problem is that fear is not going to go away no matter how much you want to. So what can you do about it? You already know very well that whoever does not risk does not win, what you have to be very clear is that what you want to win, what you take the risk for, is well worth it. Better yet, just trying is worth it.
If someone had told me a few years ago what a drastic career change I was going to make, I would have laughed in their face. Not only because science was my passion, but because as an entrepreneur I didn't see myself at all. I did not see anyone less entrepreneurial than me, a bit of a coward for those risks. And look at me now. At that moment I was very clear that what I wanted was worth it, that just trying was worth it. I'm not saying that you have to do the same, I just want to show you that you can, although very scary, feel vulnerable and have a hard time until you grab the other trapeze.
And if you are wondering how to know if something is worth it, only you can know that, be honest with yourself. Is it worth dedicating yourself to what you like even if others criticize you? Is the freedom of being your own boss worth it even if you have a bad couple of years? Only you know.
What I can recommend, if you are not yet ready to take the step, is that you practice taking risks, that you practice feeling vulnerable. Again only you can decide what is a risk for you. Start with something that makes you nervous but is not momentous. Perhaps for you it is to make a call, ask for a raise, take a course that you are looking forward to; only you can decide. You will see how you get excited, your security increases and you begin to tolerate uncertainty and vulnerability better and thus it will cost you a little less to take that step you have in mind. As Philippa Perry says in her book "How to Be Mentally Balanced":
“ Nobody likes to feel vulnerable, but unless we learn to tolerate a certain emotional vulnerability we will jeopardize our growth, and if we don't grow we shrink, and in that case what we will put in danger will be our mental health. ”
What risk are you going to take?
