Every human being needs and enjoys having relationships with other people. Sometimes, however, these relationships can turn away from affection and turn into self-serving bonds in which some wish to take advantage of others. What to do when we get caught up in these so-called “interested relationships? Keep reading.
The human world is a world of relationships in which there is no autonomy and the presence and help of others is essential for survival and good living. We can, however, relate in a human way and express sincere affection and generate mutual support, or in a commercialized way and act on the basis of selfish interest.
It is understood that it is neither possible nor realistic for a person to love all those whom they meet or come across. It is human to express preferences for beings in our family and environment, or for those with whom we feel identified or aligned and who share heat, goals or ways of behaving similar to ours.
However, there are those who make selfish manipulation a way of life and it is our right to detect these people and prevent us from being blatantly used and then discarded as worthless objects.
Free riders show little interest in people unless they want to get something out of them. Their conversation is usually devoted to what interests them and if another topic comes up, they go back to their business or are irritated.
The more sophisticated may not ask directly, but they know how to put others to work for them. They suggest the need for help and let you make the effort. These vivacious ones become victims and tell you that you are their only salvation to solve some lack. And if your expectations are not met, you may notice a negative change in the deal.
Utilitarians seek information about their assets, relationships, and possibilities. They will ask if your home or office is your own or rented, they will delve into prices and costs, and they will try to get you to introduce them to your friends and contacts, especially the most powerful or best connected.
It is customary for some to mate with people of a certain social position or economic stability to ensure a comfortable and low-effort future. And although this may be viewed from one angle as a sensible or intelligent decision, it is surprising that those who do so are offended when they receive a dose of their own medicine.
Another strategy of the interested people is the "flattery bath", which they offer when they are about to ask for something generally undeserved. Many unsuspecting people are seduced by these false acknowledgments and open their minds, hearts and pockets.
If someone wants to use your time, your money, your relationships or your assets without offering a compensation equivalent to what you will receive, you have the right to defend yourself and avoid getting involved in this profitable game. You can, in that case, take some of the following actions suggested here:
- Rank your friends by their behavior, rather than their words, and have the profiteers spotted. If you are pressured by an "urgent" request, postpone the decision and say something like, "I'll answer you tomorrow." This will save you time before deciding. Set limits. If you notice that someone wants to take advantage of your time, tell them I'll do it for a while, just for today, better another day, etc., do not explain. When I say No! You do not have to give explanatory details. Say it is "for personal reasons" and you will avoid being pressured. Lean on others. If they push you too hard, say that your boss, your partner or a friend is the one who decides and should consult. Stay away from bullies. No matter how nice they are, leave some distance in between and you'll be better off. Apply assertiveness. Tell whoever you intend to use it for, who cannot help you at this time. (nor in another).Assign responsibilities: It is your right not to carry other people's loads if it is not your voluntary and conscious decision. Kindly say that this situation is not your responsibility.
As we can see, there are people of utilitarian behavior that we must detect to protect ourselves from their unscrupulous style. Face them intelligently and without promoting conflict. Set limits, as people go as far as you allow. Thanks for reading me.
