I recently read an interesting article about whether you can learn to be brave, not to be afraid of things (Can you learn to be courageous?). In turn, the post is based on the book " The Courage Quotient: How Science can make you braver " by Robert Biswas-Diener. As many readers write to me paralyzed by their fears, I have found it interesting to share it.
There are two factors directly related to courage, with having the courage to make the changes you want to make. One is fear, and the other is the desire to act. So your courage equals your desire to act divided by your fear.
COURAGE = DESIRE TO ACT / FEAR
Therefore, if you want to increase your value you need:
- Increase the desire to act
- Decrease fear
- Both
Interesting, right? Because the easy thing is to think that you always have to try not to be afraid or manage it well, but it is equally important to work on the desire, on the "want". We already know that wanting is power, that's why I always ask my clients what their great why is when carrying out a project. A reason strong enough that motivates you to persevere when things do not go well or when you are discouraged and, in my opinion, it is essential.
Some techniques you can try to increase your value are:
1. Reduce uncertainty. There are people who tolerate uncertainty well and others who really suffer when they don't know what is going to happen in the future or how a situation is going to develop. If this is your case (and especially if you want to be an entrepreneur) it is important that you work on that. How can you reduce the uncertainty? Understanding your situation as much as possible and realistically, finding out everything that is necessary so that you can think clearly. Sometimes just visualizing your future or asking yourself a few simple questions is enough to have the information you need to see everything more clearly.
2. Relax. It is very important to take care of yourself in these stressful situations, whether doing sports, yoga, meditation, controlled breathing. Techniques to physically relax, which directly impacts fear and anxiety.
3. Get angry. If fear makes you feel helpless and out of control, anger does the opposite. When you are angry you feel more in control, you are more persevering and tenacious and you believe more in your possibilities, therefore, it can be a good way to take action. Of course we are talking about something specific and useful in certain circumstances. For example: Imagine that you have a project in mind but when you share it with family and friends, everything is criticism and negativity, so instead of getting discouraged, get angry (not with them, literally, if you understand what I mean) and instead of thinking in abandoning you will get between eyebrows and achieve it as it is. Of course, this technique only works in some cases, it would not be very useful for fear of public speaking for example (or maybe for you yes, who knows.)
4. Accept mistakes as normal and inevitable. I have already spoken about this several times. Courageous people know that mistakes are part of the way and they don't give it more importance (that doesn't mean they like it, but they accept it and learn the lesson).
Something interesting that they mention in the article is that three groups of people who had to give a talk were analyzed. During the rehearsals, the first group was warned not to make any mistakes. People in the second group were told to make a mistake on purpose during rehearsal, and then reassured that it didn't matter, so that they would learn to forgive their mistakes. The third group was instructed to make a mistake on purpose and to incorporate it into the final talk. Result: the people of the 3rd group were more confident on stage and were the best valued by the public.
Therefore, more than not making mistakes or forgiving yourself if you do, making mistakes and calmly accepting them as part of the process yields better results.
What do you think? Which technique are you going to try first?
