Signs of animosity and malevolence are increasingly evident in all social spheres. It is enough to notice the way of driving of motorists, the behavior of others in public places, the scenes of jealousy and conflicts between couples, the offensive act in a commercial negotiation or the way to deal with discrepancies, to realize the barbaric climate existing.
In the same way, it is also reprehensible to see how we are "used" to hostility, to rude, unfriendly treatment and, at the same time, to the visible disregard for others. Not to mention the indifference, lack of solidarity and apathy which, by the way, is more Peruvian than the purple mazamorra.
In the light of my experiential experience, I think that tense, discrepant and confrontational circumstances facilitate knowing the magnitude of self-control and the integral formation of people, beyond appearances. Keep in mind: belligerent situations display the emotional dimension of the individual. I mean soft skills.
We need to mature feelings of tolerance and coexistence and, consequently, we must display a capacity for approval from one person to another that is different in values, ideas, options, norms, beliefs and practices of others when they are contrary to our own and accept others, understanding the scope of the different means destined to understand human existence.
In our work we perceive belligerence in offices, families, neighbors and in the most basic activities that we carry out. We spotted ladies and gentlemen in shopping malls offending the salesperson by avoiding satisfying their claims, which, in many cases, are unjustified. For example, in a store where I go frequently to do the weekly shopping in the company of my 88-year-old mother, I observed a man get uncomfortable and scold the cashier when he was forced to give up his position at the preferential checkout. The last straw !.
Dear reader, look at how customers drive their carts in a supermarket and you will have a clear notion of the absence of affability and consideration. Observe the coping style of your fellow man and you will possibly notice the accumulated harmful emotions that come to light in situations used as a "safety valve". Even daily disturbances are used as a pretext to justify negative actions.
There is a massive atmosphere of rejection, prejudice, arrogance and, therefore, a lack of emotional intelligence that prevents coexistence at the minimum levels that common sense demands and that peaceful coexistence determines. We have transformed harassment into a way of life, the segregationist attitude into a defensive mechanism, and grievance the perfect substitute for the lack of sensible arguments. Lashing out and selfish display is a "national sport."
I have a neighbor in the apartment on the second floor of my house to whom his wife yells at least three times a week in the least imagined way. Their disagreements constitute a "conjugal gymnastics" that illustrates to his two little children of harmony, concord and family love. For his part, the husband seems to have come from the Upper Palaeolithic due to the characteristics of his behavior.
The stresses of daily life should not alter the optimal standards of understanding that are recommended to be displayed in the spaces we inhabit. I suggest proceeding with empathy, social ability, assertiveness and with a high dose of respect that should be nurtured by expanding our "sense of belonging." Let's make a community effort to learn to live together within the parameters of civilization, condescension, and discernment. We could begin by understanding that our rights end where others begin and we avoid perceiving our fellow men as non-existent enemies or adversaries.
It is appropriate to point out that obfuscation reduces our quality of life. Forging vigorous human relationships will make us better as human beings and will serve to affirm a beneficial atmosphere around us. It would be advisable to desist from aggressive behaviors and low self-esteem that accentuate poor general interaction. In the professional field, this procedure can bring damaging and irremediable consequences and, therefore, affect the favorable evolution of the individual in the company.
How much will we understand that our happiness, peace and tranquility is also that of third parties? From my perspective, clumsiness prevents us from evaluating the serious consequences of the growing "cannibalization" of society on our mental health. I wish, with naive illusion, that the convenient reflection enlightens the emotionally and intellectually disabled people who abound in oceanic dimensions in “Peruland”, even in the least imagined scenarios. Let us remember what Thomas Jefferson said: "A wrong opinion can be tolerated where reason is free to fight it."
(*) Teacher, consultant in event organization, protocol, professional image and social etiquette.
