They are not the two sides of the coin in the existence of mobbing or psychological harassment
It is easier to believe in our goodness, than to face others and fight for our rights. It is easier to receive an offense and not react, than to have the courage to fight with someone stronger. (Coello)
Since the Universe was created, we learned that everything has its counterpart, the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the beautiful and the ugly, etc…. God allowed us to choose and have the free will of our destiny. Precisely, we are the ones who decide which path to choose? And what kind of life do we want to live?
Many times this is not subject to material goods, labor circumstances, lifestyles. Rather, it is in the power of our thinking, the success or failure of a positive or negative attitude. Beliefs, expectations, feelings create and form a
" Attitude " to face and confront a problem, situation or conflict. According to Rally, Lipson (1999) the changes that the crises produce in the world are only part of the total picture. Crises also affect our inner world. The truth is that you cannot control the crisis.
Give yourself permission to stop the fight and let yourself flow. It could be very liberating and a great relief. Wherever you are, even when you don't understand why, that's where you need to be.
How many times have we said "I want to disappear from this place" "I feel that this environment suffocates me, these people, this has to be a" Karma "?. And the truth, I think, happens to all of us. Many times we are the ones who want to see the bad, the black, the dark and that there are no possibilities, no paths of hope, there are no ways out. When one has lived looking for an explanation for the irrational, unusual, absurd and deranged behavior of people who in one way or another do harm and want to butcher a human being alive without staining their hands with blood, such a definition of evil. Mobbing or Psychological Harassment has this finite dividing line between what is good or acceptable, what is logical and reasonable for the laws and social behaviors approved in daily life, which produces much confusion,insecurity and fear in the victims. Many times I have heard from people known and even loved: "It is better to be bad." "It is better to do what you want and want, even if it causes pain to others." "People who are selfish, cheat, deceitful, treacherous, greedy and mean, everything works out OK." Has anyone ever heard this? I did… and on different occasions… But I learned to answer "Apparently, Yes". So it seems. And I tell you.And I tell you.And I tell you.
Do you have peace, love, trust, harmony,? Would they face God, or would they run away, run away, run like cowards? Although it is true that, according to Hirigoyen (2000), perverse narcissists do not have a sense of guilt, regrets, shame, and less responsibility for the harmful or destructive acts that they have caused other people, they can be very angry, much anger, and much envy of the achievements and successes of others. They do not know peace, true love and are worthy of infinite compassion on the part of those who know them and have seen others suffer and suffer for their defeats and calamities. You will see a perverse narcissist @ she lives scheming her acts, she has no Peace. She is dedicated to wanting to do and have what other @ has, to overcome it or demonstrate to herself that she could do better.Kill or steal dreams, illusions, longings and chimeras. He does not enjoy what he has, since it seems to him little or nothing.
He is a liar @ so he has to live running away, escaping or remembering every day what he said to this, that or the other to support his lie. It destroys the beautiful and permanent because it does not have the capacity to value and preserve it. Use people and objectify them by turning them into nothing. This justifies that he or she likes to be mistreated. And the worst is not afraid of God.
She doesn't know him, she doesn't look for him and she doesn't fear him… Really, I wonder. Does such a person deserve our love or our compassion? Does he deserve our company or our distance and distance? They are so and so good actors that they disguise evil in false goodness, and they take the worst out of you whenever they can do it coldly and calculatedly. Let's see, for example, a conversation with a narcissistic, evil Machiavellian: P = person, N = narcissistic.
P = Hello! How are you?
N = Good, and you?
P = Working hard.
N = Yes, what are you doing now?
Q = I am writing, proposals, many contracts for professional services and request two trips.
N = Two trips? Where are you going as a tourist? How lucky you are!!!
P = No, it is not as a tourist, it is to work very hard. I go to Spain and the USA
N = And isn't there a contract for me? I would accompany you, with pleasure. (This dying of envy)
P = I do not know (if the person is stupid, and forgot, about the past troubles, the crises and lies he told him, and the betrayals, etc… etc… And he still wants it or is interested)
N = Look to see. Who do I have to talk to? Give me the name, the contact? Do you know that I "love" you a lot. (This puts you in doubt (??)
P = Well, I'm going to think about it, so you can go with me. It's okay?
N = Remember, I have no money. You should lend me or get the ticket, if you really want me for company. I call you tomorrow. A hug!!
P = Sure !! I love you too. A kiss. (And she fell perfectly into the trap)
The narcissist really drops the hook and leaves the fish to bite it. In this conversation, there is evil disguised as goodness. If the person who talks to this narcissist loves and loves him, he still has fantasies, illusions and thinks. Maybe we will get ready on the trip. Maybe it's even a second honeymoon. Who takes away and show me his repentance and his pain for everything that has made me suffer? The narcissist does not think of anything like that.
And if you can manage to go alone to the trip or with another person, you will. And if he wants to get you out of the way, he will. And if she knows that it doesn't matter, everything she does to you will still be there, forgiving, suffering, enduring and waiting for her change. Rest assured that you will die waiting. They do not have the sensitivity and solidarity with your success. They decided… Since they met you that you don't deserve it and that if they can take it from you they will.
How? Slandering you, slandering you, running you over, confusing you, taking advantage of your naivety and goodness, and worst of all, using your "emotional codependency" in their favor. This is a fact, and believe me, that's why I say “Evil and Goodness are not two sides of a coin in Mobbing. And they are not because there is no good and bad in the evil narcissist. That does not exist. Only the perversity of the distortion of his cold and calculated reality.
Let's see another example, this time, a real case:
María Victoria is a very beautiful, intelligent, successful woman who enjoys the sympathy of others. She has a beautiful family, three beautiful children. A spectacular house. And she earns a highly valued salary for her high academic preparation.
He had been married for more than 20 years, and believed that he had true emotional, family, and financial stability. One day the husband said, "I want to get divorced."
"I want you to give me everything that belongs to me, and I want to leave here because I am not happy." María Victoria thought: "This man is crazy." "Can not be". He had given many signs in the marriage of his erratic and difficult behavior: he used sarcasm a lot, and irony to address her all the time.
"Clear!! You are the perfect executive, the perfect mother, the successful businesswoman. ” You are the best in everything ”. "If they really knew you." He never said what was wrong with her. He only debased her, humiliated her if he could.
Then it came with an expensive flower arrangement, or a valuable garment, or a sensational gift. And he got depressed, and he became the martyr and the victim in the house in front of the children more than anything. So many years passed, but María Victoria somehow justified it. When the husband left the house, she asked for almost half a million dollars for her expenses and filed for divorce, using lies and lies that forced her to defend herself in court. As her demand for money did not come out, this man still blackmails her and the children emotionally, he sells himself as a young teenager through the streets of the city,She spends and spends and asks and asks for more because the money she took in a year is not enough since she has not wanted to negotiate the removal of the home or house from her children and this drama is not known when and how it will end. The last thing she said to Maria Victoria is that you are happy and I am not. He is drunk and being a wealthy businessman with a salary of over $ 10,000 a month, he feels less and is destroyed in his greed and desire to have what in his opinion he does not have and deserve. More than anyone and Being better than the others.. Even if only in money.More than anyone and Being better than the others.. Even if only in money.More than anyone and Being better than the others.. Even if only in money.
This is a case where the one who speaks or listens to this man let off steam would say: "Poor thing, look he is misunderstood." However, his low self-esteem, his lack of spiritual values exchanged for money, which do not fill him, his desire for revenge, his rage and envy for the successes of his wife are, without a doubt, making him a fainthearted, deserving being. of compassion and a greedy patient who only uses manipulation and economic extortion because he could not recognize and value what a family is and what a home is where love and peace reign..
Case II
Rosaura is a very lonely, melancholic and sometimes taciturn woman. One day of professional meetings she met this man, who undoubtedly evaluated her, measured and measured from corner to corner. Rosaura had a job, which although it was not lucrative if it gave her a secure and middle-class income as well as social recognition for her high academic preparation.
Rosaura celebrated each event, simple as it was as one of infinite blessing. She had natural beauty, was eloquent, and wanted to be recognized for her intellectual ability. This man noticed immediately and when she gave her personal information, he wrote down her phone, email and address and called her for a professional appointment. Rosaura, I doubt, but I accept the invitation. He really didn't want to talk about the professional. He was an attractive man, smart, shrewd, cunning, and very sweet. He was in charge of knowing her the time he was in that country, since he traveled a lot. So, I invite you to visit it. Rosaura found him interesting, intelligent and very enigmatic. This caught her attention a lot. It was never entirely clear and sincere. He talked a lot about himself, his trips and his projects. They kept in touch for two years,but Rosa did not investigate anything of her personal life. She was not interested in a husband, or a partner in her apartment day and night. This was very convenient for him.
After two years of doubts, intrigues and confusions, he learned on one of his trips that this man had a relationship for two years with a woman that he gave him everything and that Rosaura did not know. In addition, he received communications from 15 more women than he seduced in each country. It really was impossible to believe. After cutting ties of personal union they decided to maintain working relationships, but everything went from bad to worse.
There was never more physical contact between them. They ever connected to talk in writing about his projects, which he was in charge of making her see were superior and better than hers. In the end, she never gave a single explanation, I am not looking for it to, if she wants to reach work agreements, and she continued her life in other countries and maintaining the same unstable, insecure lifestyle and of course free of ties and. responsibilities. Today Rosaura wonders, what did I do wrong? Why did I meet this being? What do I have to learn? How do I overcome deception, lies, betrayal and more than anything the doubts that will remain in her life as scarred marks, that she no longer knows if she will overcome or will ever forget and heal.
Many people like Rosaura believe in people, in good faith. They believe that these acts of lies, deceit, betrayal will not occur in their lives because they are not like that. If a woman falls in love with a man who needs shine, light, energy from another… and she is open, transparent, sincere, clear and very confident, she is the perfect prey to be the one to be mocked, and more than anything used. Rosaura, because of her ability to speak, was very open and told everything. She was not investigating anything, nor was she chasing after a man because this did not seem right to her.
However, she knew that although she was not loved, loved and respected, she had a company that understood her work and her future projections, counting on the support of a being, who was not interested in her success, or her triumph… But Yes! !! She wanted control, and more than anything to keep this woman on hold and on hold.
She still incredulously asked for his support, cooperation and help… To which he, no doubt, did not refuse, but rarely complied or avoided at all costs.
Unfortunately with this man many illusions, dreams and hopes died. Furthermore, everything that happened lives in Rosa's memory as a painful, traumatic experience and, above all, without logical explanations of rational feelings and behavior. Here there was neither logic, nor reason, nor even sound justification, that could be understood by the standards and norms established within acceptable social behaviors. Because he was in charge of being a perfect Social model of the most Perfectly ideal for a woman. But of course… an automated, robotic woman, and without the capacity to analyze the implausible and inexplicable within Behavioral Psychology. It's that simple.
Case III
It's from a man named Pedro. Really, from over 25 years of work experience. He had many intellectual and professional attributes. Connoisseur of the matter he represented, Pedro, to everything that was asked he said Yes! With a smile. One day a young auditor like him came to the office, but in his 30s. He wanted to climb and climb the Operations Manager position as soon as possible, so he became Pedro's Special Assistant.
And this one as usual, taught him everything. Since I saw him as a son. One day she found out that this young man had spread a rumor that Pedro was not very masculine, and that he no longer wanted to work near him. After this spread like wildfire, he also added that he was bipolar and depressive and that due to his weight, since Pedro was thick, he was taking medications and depressants. When Pedro told this young man what had happened, he became the new one in the news. And he only recommended taking a sick vacation. I indicate to him, not to worry about anything, that he would take care of everything. Pedro, who still trusted and believed in him, followed his advice and left for two weeks, since he had never taken a vacation. This was the right time that this young man used to make and break in the company. When Pedro,The President arrived, paid him his salary and fired him. So this young man, remained as Operations Manager and what took Pedro almost 25 years, he achieved in less than three years of employment in that place.
In this case, I have not mentioned in detail Pedro's horror and nightmare in that agency for three long years.
He was the victim of defamation, humiliation, bad taste jokes, he was moved from office several times and constantly left at work and sent the Special Assistant to the most important activities of the company. He received many anonymous taunts and drawings of fat people and little songs on the two-way recorder.
He was persecuted everywhere, and he was forced to sign authorizations in favor of the Special Assistant for salary increases and professional services. Pedro was also stigmatized as an old man, and received letters of retirement and medical plans to lower his dignity. After changing it and removing his secretary, and giving it to the other, he was made to understand that he suffered from his mental faculties. Many, many improper, illegal and denigrating actions were Pedro's daily “Hell of Work Environment” for three long years. When he discovered, a truth he could not accept, he ended up extremely devastated, depressed, and very ill at home. He reported ill for only two or three days and that's why he was considered an insane psychotic.
Pedro, he thought many times about Suicide. However, thanks to his family, and to his beliefs in the spiritual world and God, Pedro today is a fighter and combatant of the abuses and abuses of perverse narcissists in the workplace.
In conclusion, these are three different and similar cases.
The first family psychological abuse, the second psychological partner abuse and the third psychological employment abuse. In all three there are some points in common: the Good Faith and Kindness of the victim, ignorance of the evil disguised as goodness of the stalkers or predators.
Although it is true, ingenuity and lack of personal malice were decisive elements in each of these people. We could all, in one way or another, become a shooting target for an evil psychopath. It is very important to have and keep a cool head. This means that to confront Mobbing or psychological harassment, from the emotional affective world we could become greater recipients of the damage and perversity of these people, who want to have what does not belong to them naturally, and in fact they will never have it., "Your Brightness", "Your Intelligence", "Your Will" And "Your Internal Power". If they, with lies, deceit and repetitive betrayals, handle you as they please, you have to realize that only @ you cannot fight them and even less face them in order to have you and not them in control of the situation.A wicked Machiavellian is calculating, indolent, cold, very cunning, and shrewd. He knows his prey very well and seduces her, then flatters, manipulates and creates internal conflicts with the idea that the victim needs him and seeks him out and tells him about his life and miracle.
When conflicts turn into crisis, that's when you see your teeth, and even then they deny it. They do not feel responsible for your weaknesses, and they believe that taking away what you want most will fill the hands of your strengths. Do not believe that they will change or stop being what they are.
That is its nature. And although they are not happy, nor do they live in peace, they enjoy their adventures, triumphs and malignancy like no one else. For this reason, I hope you have understood what I wanted to communicate to you today with the title of this article: "Evil vs. Goodness are not two sides of the coin in Mobbing or Psychological Harassment".
