"In moments of crisis, only imagination is more important than knowledge." Albert Einstein
How to create satisfaction when our soul hurts?
Is it possible, is it real?
Because of the structure of our brain, we are designed to focus more on pain and less time on satisfaction. When something happens to us that hurts us, the primary reaction is to give it our full attention to “fight that pain”, without realizing that it is precisely this massive focus on what “hurts” us, that makes us hurt even more.
Understanding this concept is vital to stop reacting instinctively and start responding creatively to pain.
"Feeling pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
Suffering optional?
We can choose our emotional states. It's completely possible and we actually do it all the time, the point is, we don't realize it. How do we choose our emotional states?
We do it through two things:
- Internal dialogue Attention
A certain emotional state is the product of a specific focus in a dialogue that we maintain with ourselves. When you realize what kind of internal conversation leads you to feel in a specific way, it is possible to design conversations that lead you to generate other feelings.
Key one to create satisfaction:
When you identify your pain, ask yourself what thoughts are fueling that suffering. Often we suffer because we focus on what we don't have, what we don't want, and what we can't.
The key in this case is to turn the situation around, focusing on what we do have (potentialities and abilities, for example), what we do want (stop thinking about "I don't want") and what we can do (that we have not yet achieved something does not mean that we are not capable of achieving it).
When you feel suffering, instead of going around all your arguments to feel bad, ask yourself:
What do I want to feel?
Attention to this question, it says: what do I want to “feel”: For example you can focus as an answer on: I want to feel peace, tranquility, security, trust. Although, often, we believe that "only when" we have, achieve or achieve "that" then we will feel good, in reality, feeling good does not have to depend on something external to us.
Your feelings are yours and you choose how to feel. You don't have to keep depending on something outside of yourself to feel more peaceful, serene, calmer, fuller and more productive.
Don't condition your satisfaction on something outside of you. Try it.
How do you want to feel now?
What would you have to focus on to feel this way?
What would you have to stop thinking about to feel better?
Key two: Strengthen your self-esteem:
"If you judge people, you won't have time to love them." Mother Teresa
Sometimes we judge ourselves harshly, disqualifying ourselves and pressuring ourselves for not getting "the raise," the "trophy" girlfriend or boyfriend, the car of the year, the sale, or whatever we use as excuses to disapprove.
To achieve our goals, we must love ourselves completely, unconditionally.
The difficulty to love us without conditions originates in our childhood, the belief of “conditional love” is ingrained: you are good if and only if, you do your homework or pick up your toys or tidy up your room. Then we come to the conclusion that we are not “enough to be ourselves” that only if we satisfy an external norm then we will be supported and loved. And that can end up making us dependent and distorting our image of ourselves.
It is important to understand that we are worth and are unique beings and that our existence is our greatest wealth, we do not have to earn the affection or approval of others to feel good about ourselves. We cannot give such power over our lives to others.
When you understand how important and valuable you are, your self-esteem is strengthened and creating satisfaction is an easier task, because you have freed yourself from the need to depend on others to feel good about yourself.
Key three: The biology of happiness
"Everyone is as happy as they have decided to be." Abraham Lincoln
By identifying your emotions, taking care of your internal dialogue and knowing and recognizing yourself valuable, your biology experiences an impact.
Healthy emotions have a positive impact on the areas of the brain responsible for clarity, memory, concentration, and creativity. When you are happier, you think better, you become more creative and you begin to be in the right place, at the right time to take advantage and create the opportunities that lead you to achieve your goals.
Furthermore, you begin to realize that achieving your goals is great, but when you achieve it from satisfaction, it is much healthier. Why burn yourself to pressure and stress when there are healthier ways to achieve what you want and be happy along the way?
Mini plan to activate the areas of your creative brain
- Breathe deeply several times Identify your emotion When you have the identified emotion ask yourself: I know what I do not want to feel, what do I want to feel? Write what comes to your mind freely, just let yourself go Ask the specific question you need
When you calm down, you manage your emotions and ask your brain questions, rest assured, sooner or later you will receive that answer and that great idea will come to you, that solution you were looking for, that title for your novel, or that idea for your product or the solution for your problem.
Let the biology of your brain work for you, 24/7. Promote a healthier biology in your life, reducing stress through conscious breathing, deliberate calm and the wise decision to create from satisfaction.
