In conversations around me, in current debates in the media, in the speeches of our political leaders… it is fashionable to have a clear position. Before this society that penalizes ambivalence so much, I stand up to defend those who choose e): "You don't know, you do answer."
In the field of psychology "ambivalence is a state of mind in which opposite emotions coexist." Transferred to the intellectual sphere, it would refer to "a situation in which you simultaneously pronounce yourself in favor of a proposition and its opposite."
This "ambivalent" state probably sounds like a contradiction to you, and I bet you don't associate the term contradiction with something positive. If you are contradictory in something, or do not have a clear position, it may generate unease, perhaps you associate it with being incoherent… somehow it seems that living in the contradiction destabilizes you, right? If you try to agglutinate, if you take a little bit of this and a little bit of the other, you don't sell, you feel weak. And there we do not feel comfortable, we need to hold onto certainties.
This argument is especially emphasized when it affects beliefs, judgments and opinions that we have very implanted, that have to do with our way of taking root in the world and that also structure us as people (this is the very interesting theory of Leon's cognitive dissonance Festinger).
I do not intend to go against the human condition that has always tried to find shelter in certainty (religions are the maximum expression of this), but I am going to question the path by which we access it and the "format" that this must have. For this I am going to lean on a phrase I read the other day (apologizing in advance to the author for not naming him, since I do not remember where I read it): we must be aware that the result of our doubts makes us someone else free to believe that we are of our certainties.
Therefore, only by learning to doubt can we feel freer to evolve as people from contradiction. This, without a doubt, will place us much closer to certainty, but not to the certainty that our iron positions give us, if not to that which is derived precisely from knowing how to manage its opposite: uncertainty. For this we will need to be as permeable and ductile as possible to integrate any type of approach that will make our positioning final? be as solid as possible…..until we question it again.
This approach is particularly important in the age of the Internet of Things where everything (technology, information, knowledge, etc.) evolves at a speed that runs over us and you will only survive if you know how to immerse yourself in uncertainty and live with it
In this new journey, we must learn to divest ourselves of certainties and to befriend indefiniteness because indefiniteness may be our ally towards a final position or it may be the end of the journey itself. Bruce Lee tells us in other words through one of the 6 principles that support the jeet kune do (combat method created by him), where he uses water as an analogy to describe why adaptability is a desired trait in martial arts and defends this as a philosophy of life. Water can divide, collide, erode, flow…
You may be thinking that this is easy to say but not so easy to carry it out since, in the end, this society has accustomed us to face life in a dual way: I like-I don't like it, yes-no, okay- disagree, left-right, Palestinian-Israeli, etc.). How can we do this then? How can we learn to feel free and safe in constant questioning?
I throw 3 pills to you that perhaps can serve you:
- On the one hand, we must connect as much as possible with our vulnerability and, therefore, with our humility (see post "humility: your legacy towards posterity"). Only from here you will be in a position of extreme strength to detach yourself from certainties. From there you will stop rushing towards the "I think that…", and you will learn to go through the "why", tending in an unequivocal and natural way to be curious above all about opinions different from yours. You will feel comfortable clumping and contrasting and you will not need to cling to any position at the beginning or throughout the journey. The lack of definition, as I have said before, will not terrify you and, on it, you will grow, detach yourself from the needs of certainties that others have.Feel free not to be a prisoner of them and do not endorse your "urgencies", from there I encourage you to start, consequently, to act differently. Our action configures our being. Try not to position yourself from the beginning, be curious, listen especially to the nuances of those who think the opposite of you, dare with other records such as….. "I'm not clear",… "I understand both positions" ". You will see that, although it is not the common and socially accepted pattern of behavior as "successful" today, there is a big gap for those who choose option d: "do not know, yes answer"hear especially the nuances of those who think the opposite of you, dare with other records such as….. "I am not clear",… "I understand both positions" ". You will see that, although it is not the common and socially accepted pattern of behavior as "successful" today, there is a big gap for those who choose option d: "do not know, yes answer"hear especially the nuances of those who think the opposite of you, dare with other records such as….. "I am not clear",… "I understand both positions" ". You will see that, although it is not the common and socially accepted pattern of behavior as "successful" today, there is a big gap for those who choose option d: "do not know, yes answer"
I hope this reflection has helped you to incorporate some other color into the color palette with which you want to paint your life. Or do you want to continue painting it in black and white?
