One of the issues that most concerns us adults who work with children or have children, is how to make them more organized. This occurs because day by day we realize the importance of the organization in our lives and the time we lose when we cannot find the keys, or we have to redo the shopping list when we lose the paper that contained it.
But, kids usually don't care about the consequences of being messy, and… do they know why? Well, because they do not find any advantage in ordering and simply “disconnect” when we repeat for the umpteenth time that they pick up their room or order their school bag.
Once again, if we want to get our children to acquire a skill, in this case order, the wisest thing to do is to approach it as a game.
Let him do it his way first
The strategy that I always use, when I want a child or adolescent to realize the importance of being organized, is to give them a box of crafts or board games that he or she has already mentioned to me before and tell them that I want to enjoy to share with him or her about this activity, but I don't know how to do it.
Usually, they open the game and impulsively start playing all the materials it contains, and soon discover the instructions. It is then time to invite them to read them and they themselves will realize how the materials are presented in an organized way and the rules of the game are explained.
Let him know that you trust his way of doing it
Many times I meet fathers and mothers who simply do all the things for their children and then complain that they are not autonomous, that they are a real chaos and that they absolutely depend on their parents. But whose fault is it?
I know that the busy pace of life that we lead invites us to do many things for our children, simply because we do it faster this way, or because if we leave them to them, we are going to have to do what we had asked them in addition to picking up the mess that they have armed when carrying out the task entrusted. But in this way we prevent them from being independent.
If we want them to learn the importance of being orderly in their day to day, the best thing is that instead of repeating things infinitely, we give them the opportunity to show us that we are wrong.
This means, perform actions like:
- do not put their clothes in the closet so that they discover for themselves that it is no longer so pleasant to dress in wrinkled clothes or that they have picked up from the floor;
- do not store milk in the refrigerator so that they see that they cannot drink milk for breakfast because it has spoiled; or
- do not excuse them by lying to a teacher because they cannot find material at home.
Reward your attempts to be ordered
When your son or daughter manages to organize something, no matter how minor it is, it is very important that you reward their effort.
This does not mean that you buy your favorite dessert or what he or she asks for. What it means is that you give her something that she can use for having proven to be an orderly person. For example, you can let her do something alone or alone by telling her that you want to give her that responsibility because you trust her good judgment or you can consult her to redecorate a part of the house because you like the way she arranges the space.
But remember, something you should never, never do is use phrases like "well, this time you did it right… let's see if the change lasts for you!"; since they will produce the effect diametrically opposite to the one you want.
Getting your son or daughter more organized is not something you will achieve just by following these tips, but I think they are an excellent start to creating a positive communication channel with him or her. Please put them into practice and you will see how the following steps are easier to take.
