There are many times when you intend to make some kind of change, either relatively small or with a greater impact, and in the end you end up postponing or abandoning it shortly after starting. Perhaps you have proposed to change some habits to be healthier, or a more or less drastic career change and, in the end, you have not dared to take the step or have given up sooner than you thought. In that case, it will be useful to identify three mistakes that we usually make when we want to start something that involves a major change, whether professional or personal.
1. Look for validation in the wrong places.
Or, rather, in the wrong people. When you are going to start something new, it is normal to tend to seek validation among those around us. Sometimes like that little push that we lack, sometimes just to confirm that we will have support. Ideally, you should be independent and strong enough that you don't need any kind of external validation. But it is difficult, so if you have no choice and you want to use it, take a good look where you are going to look for it, who you are going to use. We return to what I always comment, try to surround yourself with positive people who support you. Why are you going to look for validation in someone who you know beforehand is going to hit you or criticize what you want to do? There are times when it is better to tell your plans only to those people who you know will listen to you and not necessarily agree with you,but it does help you constructively. Or not comment on your plans until you are convinced that no one will change your mind because you are sure of what you want.
2. Deny your barriers and judge yourself.
We all have a series of barriers that are an obstacle to our plans, and what we usually do about it is to criticize ourselves harshly for it and try to hold on and move on; when the easiest thing would be to go another way that does not have that barrier. A perfect example could be my aversion to gyms. For a long time I assumed that to be fit I had to join a gym. It didn't matter if I didn't like them, those were excuses, what happened was that she was lazy. What was he doing here? Judge myself first. Am I really lazy not wanting to go to a gym? It doesn't have to, there is nothing wrong with preferring other things. And on the other hand, denying my barriers. For me the gym theme is a great barrier, I don't like them, I don't enjoy period.The advance occurred when you accept that and look for other alternatives, that there are.
In your case it may be something else that you are trying to deny or justify, and you judge yourself because it shouldn't be like that; but it is so and nothing happens. Accept it and look for another alternative. We must end the myth that to get things you have to suffer. Maybe for some things yes, but what is clear is that when you do something in a way that you like, you are more consistent and have better results. Avoid fighting with yourself or forcing yourself to put up with certain things. It is hard enough in itself to start something new. So think, what barriers can you avoid to make it easier for you to make the change you seek?
3. Insist on doing nothing until you have everything controlled and 100% safe.
It is clear that it is important to know where you are going, to be informed and prepared. But many people use this as an excuse to be constantly training or to stand still waiting for something to happen that ensures that everything will turn out well. If you want things to happen you have to get going. The beauty of getting started is not just the motivation you feel, the increase in self-esteem and the results you get; instead you open the doors to new opportunities and people that you had not even considered. That is the best part, that when you start the journey, you really don't know where the path will take you or who you will find in it…
There are many things that can influence the decision to get going and whether you quit or not, these three errors are something to keep in mind from now on. Which one do you identify with?
